Have you ever been accused of..

Oh the old mailbox thump. A kid I went to high school with’s mom had the most heinous looking cow mailbox and it embarrassed him so badly that one night after a kegger, he went and stole his own family’s mailbox, and let his parents think that it was some other group of kids.
To make matters worse, a snowplow driver found it a few months later, where he ditched it with the address still on it, and delivered it back to her front door!
I knew a guy whose dad got tired of replacing their mailbox up Patty Canyon. He bought a new one, suspended an empty topless milk carton inside, filled the rest with concrete, and put it back on the post. The empty carton inside served as a temporary mail receptacle hidden inside a reinforced missile silo. After a couple weeks, one icy Saturday morning he found a ball bat and a lot of blood in the driveway. I can imagine what happened. In the middle of the night some drunk college kid hanging out the window of a moving '60ish Ford pickup took a whack at the mailbox and it thumped him back.
 
I knew a guy whose dad got tired of replacing their mailbox up Patty Canyon. He bought a new one, suspended an empty topless milk carton inside, filled the rest with concrete, and put it back on the post. The empty carton inside served as a temporary mail receptacle hidden inside a reinforced missile silo. After a couple weeks, one icy Saturday morning he found a ball bat and a lot of blood in the driveway. I can imagine what happened. In the middle of the night some drunk college kid hanging out the window of a moving '60ish Ford pickup took a whack at the mailbox and it thumped him back.
I replaced mine with steel pipe, inside the old mailbox.
I picked up several bats shattered and bloody after the fix.

Our canyon was a regular party and poaching spot.
The Sheriff knew I would blast my shotgun up at the road after hearing shots above our house. I heard glass and metal hit but never got a follow up. Bird shot. The 1st two, then bb's.
 
Oh the old mailbox thump. A kid I went to high school with’s mom had the most heinous looking cow mailbox and it embarrassed him so badly that one night after a kegger, he went and stole his own family’s mailbox, and let his parents think that it was some other group of kids.
To make matters worse, a snowplow driver found it a few months later, where he ditched it with the address still on it, and delivered it back to her front door!

The guys I hung out with in High School were mailbox improvers as opposed to destroyers.

A local business made fresh sourdough every day. Whatever they didn't use, they put in a big plastic garbage bag and left it out by their dumpster for a local pig farmer to pick up every morning. We knew this, and intercepted a 50 pound garbage bag of sourdough late one night. We then proceeded to cover every mailbox in northern Jefferson County with sourdough sculptures - everyone one of them a crude but artistic phallic representation of varying sizes. Hundreds of pastry-derived dicks covered the landscape, and damn didn't we find it hilarious, and it was.

About 5 in the morning we were caught. Parked at a dead end and laughing hysterically about our night, a man and his wife flew up on us in a big truck. He jumped out and read us the riot act - we had violated his wife's honor by starting her day with an erect monument made of flour and water. I thought he was gonna kill us all. I'll never forget, he pulled a card out of his wallet that said, "I have PTSD and am not responsible for what I do." He eventually cooled off, and went on to explain he was a Vietnam Veteran with a short fuse and actually kind of apologized for his homicidal tirade. I remember at the time going from absolute pleasure in our exploit to fear for my life to feeling horrible about the appropriateness of what we had done. A lot people, many probably kids, saw things when they woke up that morning that they probably didn't need to see.

Allegedly.Hypothetically.
 
Wouldn't call it a peeping tom situation but kind of. Had a mule deer tag here in the Bitterroot valley 2 seasons ago, and for those familiar with the area there is everything from little 1 acre homes/yards, larger farms/ranches and everything in between. Almost all private. I was all over the valley during the summer and into the actual season. Had to of put 1000 miles on my pickup just looking everywhere trying to find mule deer. On one particular outing I had my wife and son with me and went to go look at a field you could glass from the end of a road. At the end of that road there were two homes with driveways and to glass the field behind their homes(another landowner) I basically looked like a creep with binos looking right at their houses/properties, when I was looking past them. Didn't have permission for the spot but it was a known place I had seen deer before and wanted to see what was shaking. After glassing for 5 or 10 minutes, we left to go down to the main road and just as I was about to make the turn a truck quickly caught up to me and pretty much stopped me from turning. It was a guy from one of the homes mentioned before and wanted to know what the hell I was up to as I creeped his wife out. Keep in mind their houses had 200 yard driveways past the end of the road where I was glassing from. Once I told him what I was doing and that I was just a local with a mule deer tag and had my wife and son with me for an outing to look around glassing deer, all was well but his wife insisted he run me down to make sure I wasn't a scum bag. To be honest, I don't blame them. He was a nice guy who had a doe tag he said he had just recently filled at his place. For those probably wondering. I ate the tag, which was rather frustrating experience but I learned a lot and I live in the valley but probably wont apply for it ever again.
 
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I did go with my ma and pa once to look at a house. They were following the realtor around and I was snooping. The house was in the country, the next neighbor was about a 1/3 mile away across a field. The homeowner had a nice spotting scope set up out the big picture window so naturally I looked through it. I don’t know if it was a coincidence but I doubt it. The scope was pointed right at the neighbors window.
 
On Thursday, I was surveying 140 acres of farmland for my client, that he has under contract for purchase, when seven employees of a neighboring commercial agricultural operation confronted and surrounding me, accused me of trespassing on their land, demanded I leave it, and when I refused, accused me of being the one the night prior that snuck into their operation, and stole a generator and some copper wire. They demanded to know who I was working for, and refused to believe that the ground I was standing on, and that they were trespassing on, was not owned by the company they work for. One of these individuals represented himself as a manager. They then went around and placed gate posts and chains on the roads on my clients property as I was working on it.
Since it was an ALTA survey, I must note the encroachments, which will likely result in title insurance objections and then communications from seller attorney to neighbor attorney and a whole can of worms being opened. All because a mob of belligerent pricks thought that a fine looking young gentleman such as myself, with all my teeth, a collared shirt, a bunch of survey equipment, maps, and a band new pickup truck was a copper wire theiving trespasser. Lmao.
The client could be advised to do a leveling operation with anfo at about that new gate on his land. Then nobody gets a road to block off anymore and a clear message sent!
 
A family lived in a small town with three gorgeous daughters.

Two teenage boys thought up the great idea of sneaking around the back of the house and trying to get a little peek of one particular daughter. Unbeknownst to the teenagers, the father was out in the barn finishing up some chores and saw the whole thing unfolding.

The father snuck up on the boys, catching them in the act. Said father was quite the athlete in his day and the boys knew they stood no chance at getting away. The father politely gave the boys two choices:

1. He’d call their parents - this was a VERY small town - and everyone literally knew everyone. This call to their parents would cause quite the chaos.

2. They could strip down to their boxers, get tired to a tree and soaked with the hose every hour, on the hour, for the entire night.

The teenagers took option 2. 🤣

Word trickled around the teenage boys and the younger boys about the “punishment” these two got and completely scared the rest of us from even thinking about trying something similar. From that day on, the father of those girls knew he had conquered the boys of the town.

This situation happened 25 years ago, when I was 10 - it seems like I grew up on Mars, comparing the world then until now.

Side note - one the peeping toms ended up marrying one of the daughters. He said the actions of that father changed his life. Of course, this story was told by the father at the wedding dinner. The groom went completely silent, the bride was completely red with anger, and the father was beaming with pride when he closed this story, and his remarks with, “Now, you don’t have to go around sneaking to see her naked.”
 
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I re-watched the Ron White piece on Tiger Woods and his adultery today, when Ron White said “I ain’t never been accused of something I didn’t do“ and it made me think of this thread and greenhorn with his doubler eyepiece on his 95 mm Swarovski, looking at that 19 year old girl.
I wasn't peeping, honestly. Edited to satisfy potentially bothered members of the Triple Tree neighborhood watch.. :)
 
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