Djfan
Well-known member
Haha. You win.
Divorce, do you ever see it coming...
- Thread starter 300stw
- Start date
406dn
Well-known member
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2019
- Messages
- 2,300
Not looking to win,,,,,,just pointing out the irony.
Djfan
Well-known member
Disagreement and irony are different. I lived what I lived. Saw it, heard it, watched the otherside get villified. Anything said will not reverse that. It just is what it is.
406dn
Well-known member
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2019
- Messages
- 2,300
The irony is you condemned the intolerance and disrespect for your views. Nothing in your posts indicate that you have either respect or tolerance for views not aligning with your's.
Have a good one.
Djfan
Well-known member
I will. You too.
HighDesertSage
Well-known member
It's crazy, I remember seeing this thread a few years ago and thinking to myself how fortunate I was to have a strong marriage to a great woman. It's amazing how fast life can change and how you think you know someone after 14 years. For you guys still in a good marriage, take nothing for granted, and if you value that relationship work on it everyday.
My divorce was finalized on Sept 2nd. Got out of it financially as well as I probably could have. She got the house and kids, I got the dogs and a new life in Wyoming. I never saw mine coming, and despite her affair, I still tried to save it for 2 months. In all honesty, I probably caused more damage doing that then if I had just cut my losses and moved on, like so many of my friends and family had advised. With two young kids though, I was really trying to keep the family together. Regardless, if the other person doesn't want that, there is not much you can do. I feel like there is a void in my life that I cannot fill. Focusing on my work, working out, time outdoors, and avoiding to much alcohol seem to keep the depression and anxiety from consuming me completely, but I still struggle daily. I hope it gets better, and someday I can forgive her, but for now it's one foot in front of the other.
My divorce was finalized on Sept 2nd. Got out of it financially as well as I probably could have. She got the house and kids, I got the dogs and a new life in Wyoming. I never saw mine coming, and despite her affair, I still tried to save it for 2 months. In all honesty, I probably caused more damage doing that then if I had just cut my losses and moved on, like so many of my friends and family had advised. With two young kids though, I was really trying to keep the family together. Regardless, if the other person doesn't want that, there is not much you can do. I feel like there is a void in my life that I cannot fill. Focusing on my work, working out, time outdoors, and avoiding to much alcohol seem to keep the depression and anxiety from consuming me completely, but I still struggle daily. I hope it gets better, and someday I can forgive her, but for now it's one foot in front of the other.
Nick87
Well-known member
@HighDesertSage good luck with everything. Lots of good folks here. Don't hesitate to reach out for help. I hope you get to spend as much time as possible with the kids. Gut wrenching just thinking about it.
I feel your pain. March of 2019 I find out my wife of 11 years was having an affair and hit me with a divorce. I gathered up what was important to me, the kids with the grandkids were moving to Arizona anyway so with nothing holding me there I hauled ass up to Montana where my brother lived and been trying to get me to move to. I haven't looked back, found an awesome woman and am now remarried and happier then I have ever been in my life. Drive a stake in the ground and move forward...there are better things ahead of you.
Dang I hate to see this resurface! High Desert, you WILL get through this, but yes it will always be a sucky time in your life that you will look back on. Take the high road every chance you get especially in front of your kids. My initial reaction to your story though is anger. Mostly angry that she cheats and yet she gets the house and the kids. Every situation is different, but my feelings are that the cheater doesn't get to win! The cheater gets to find a new place, find new friends, figure out when they can see the kids. The kids are half yours and you will likely end up with 80+% of their expenses. Make sure you at least get half of the time with the kids. Rotating houses every Wednesday was as good of an option as possible for us. Stay strong man!
TheGrayRider
Well-known member
On a humorous note, yesterday afternoon, I happened to listen to the song “She got the Goldmine and I got the Shaft” by Jerry Reed.
Stay strong. Tomorrow is another day, TheGrayRider.
Stay strong. Tomorrow is another day, TheGrayRider.
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Good point JimQ! I too am remarried and very happy. It's a long road to get there and even though life is great now, I openly say I still wish it had never happened, especially for the kids' sake. But what's done is done, next it's time to make each month better than the last. When someone is right in the middle of this fire it seems impossible to get out of it, but many of us are living proof that it can be done.
Pucky Freak
Well-known member
Tough times, man. Hard call to make to try and repair things vs. cut immediately. At least now you know you did everything you could to try and make it work. Please take good care of yourself with anxiety and depression on your heels. Hopefully you have found a good mental health provider in Casper.
Redmt
Well-known member
We're going to celebrate 50 years married next month. Not all of them were easy years, not all of them were complete years together. It took a lot of work and understanding to be together still. She was 15 and I was 17 when we met and started dating. I'm 70 now and couldn't have made it where I am without a determined relationship.
Thinking about it,, I would have shot me years ago.
Thinking about it,, I would have shot me years ago.
Wallydeuce
Well-known member
Sending you my best @HighDesertSage. Divorces hurt, regardless of how they came about.
You now are in a business relationship with your X and you will be connected for the rest of your lives. That's raising your children. Be civil. Never bad mouth her to your kids.
You now are in a business relationship with your X and you will be connected for the rest of your lives. That's raising your children. Be civil. Never bad mouth her to your kids.
Redmt
Well-known member
Friends of mine divorced a few years ago. He drove her away and into someone else's bed. I'm not going to pass judgement there. He bad mouthed her to anyone who would listen including the kids who now will not even recognize his existence. Be careful what you say.
blackbeard
Well-known member
I've been divorced for about 10 years now, got half custody of the kiddo. Like others have said we're here to support, it can be tough at times. Don't bad mouth either. Good luck
Straight Arrow
Well-known member
Good advice. When someone asks my relationship to ex-wife, I always respond with "She is my former wife, the wonderful mother of my son and daughter."
noharleyyet
Well-known member
The guy that my ex ran off with ran off with an old gf...I felt bad for her and realize she did me a favor. Time heals.
Thankful every day we didn't have children caught up in our mess.
Thankful every day we didn't have children caught up in our mess.
