I agree with the others, counseling seems like a must. Also, I’m not in the medical or mental health fields, so take it with a grain of salt, but the lack of interest in anything sounds like depression. It must be broached gently, but perhaps all she needs is some validation in her experience to talk with her doctor or therapist about it.
I’m coming up on 6 yrs married, we have adopted kids with special needs who require lots of attention and also recently moved in a family member with Alzheimer’s who is more work than our kids! It has stressed both my wife and me past our breaking points, to the point our marriage is in crisis.
Just did for me, thanks. Glad I'm not the only one in this position.
This isn't going to help much but I hear ya. I've been married for 9 years and my wife definitely isn't the same person she was. She's not necessarily a worse person but I think in the beginning of our relationship she showed more excitement for my interests as a way to do things together and keep my around. I'm just like you and get overexcited for the smallest things. We've been working on trying to find something we can both do together. It sounds silly but it may end up being golf. We both suck at it but it's outdoors and still kinda fun. She's even taking lessons so we can be closer to the same skill level.
Do it. It will help.
it’s kinda funny that now I feel like an old man giving marriage advice, but I guess I can after 10 years. Like most of you guys said the first 4-5 years were good, then it got difficult.
one of my building blocks was being friends with older couple. Russ and Lil. I hunted there farm 25 years, and wife and I would spend Sunday afternoon a few time a month just hanging out fishing the ponds with the boys (listening) to old storied. Russ was a WW2 vet Lil was a very proper lady and loved our boys so much they became Papa and Nana. Having a mentor or mentors who give positive feed back help with the give and take process.
Better yet embark on a canoe trip for several days. The challenge of canoe paddling synchronization, as well as hours and hours of good discussions, will make it or break it.
If I had to hang my marriage on a multi-day canoe trip, it would have been sunk years ago, and I'd have been left for dead!
interesting our 1st date was to a crab house , second was a weekend canoe trip down the Potomac River. 6 months later we were married and 6 months after the with a son we went through 2 years of counseling with our pastor. 1 year apart and 1 year together. finally he said your at a good place. it's hasn't all be easy but many rewards.
Oh yeah, the 1st time we got half way down the lake and the wind comes up. It was going so well she did not want to turn back so soon. You figure some things out in 4 miles of spray in the face to get back to the truck.
Great message. After offending, befriending, then "infatuating" my soulmate we have been married this month for 36 of the happiest years of life.
That's some sensible courtin' right there....Great message. After offending, befriending, then "infatuating" my soulmate we have been married this month for 36 of the happiest years of life.
Note: as a friend I once cut firewood and delivered it to her, as she was a single mom. Jokingly, I remind her of "persuading" me to marry her with the point that "I would only have to cut firewood for one place!"
