AZHUNTERR
New member
Some outlooks of marriage:
You have two choices in life: you can stay single and be
miserable, or get married and wish you were dead."
==================
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person
has, you wish you had ordered that!
==================
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing
your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other women replied, "Yes
I am, I married the wrong man."
=================
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I
married you." She replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
=================
The bride, upon getting engaged, went to her mother and
said, "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied,
"So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
=================
When a woman steals your husband, there
is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
=================
Eighty percent of married men cheat in
America. The rest cheat elsewhere.
=================
Man is incomplete until he is married.Then he is finished.
=================
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does
it cost to get married?" The father replied, "I don't know
son, I'm still paying."
=================
Young Son: Is it true Dad, that in some countries a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That
happens in every country, son.
=================
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real
happiness was until I got married; and by then it was too late."
=================
A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband
a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?"
asked the friend. The woman replied, "A billionaire."
=================
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. A
second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
=================
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention
to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
=================
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go
through life thinking they had no faults at all.
=================
You know the honeymoon is pretty much over
when you start to go out with the boys on
Wednesday nights, and so does she.
=================
Personally, I think one of the greatest
things about marriage is that as both
husband and father, I can say anything
I want to around the house. Of course,
no one pays the least bit of attention.
===============
My girlfriend told me I should be more
affectionate. So I got two girlfriends.
>===============
How do most men define marriage? A very
expensive way to get your laundry done for free.
================
The most effective way to remember your
wife's or girlfriend's birthday is to forget it once.
================
Words to live by: Do not argue with a
spouse who is packing your parachute.
================
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive.
You have two choices in life: you can stay single and be
miserable, or get married and wish you were dead."
==================
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person
has, you wish you had ordered that!
==================
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing
your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other women replied, "Yes
I am, I married the wrong man."
=================
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I
married you." She replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
=================
The bride, upon getting engaged, went to her mother and
said, "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied,
"So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
=================
When a woman steals your husband, there
is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
=================
Eighty percent of married men cheat in
America. The rest cheat elsewhere.
=================
Man is incomplete until he is married.Then he is finished.
=================
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does
it cost to get married?" The father replied, "I don't know
son, I'm still paying."
=================
Young Son: Is it true Dad, that in some countries a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That
happens in every country, son.
=================
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real
happiness was until I got married; and by then it was too late."
=================
A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband
a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?"
asked the friend. The woman replied, "A billionaire."
=================
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. A
second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
=================
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention
to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
=================
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go
through life thinking they had no faults at all.
=================
You know the honeymoon is pretty much over
when you start to go out with the boys on
Wednesday nights, and so does she.
=================
Personally, I think one of the greatest
things about marriage is that as both
husband and father, I can say anything
I want to around the house. Of course,
no one pays the least bit of attention.
===============
My girlfriend told me I should be more
affectionate. So I got two girlfriends.
>===============
How do most men define marriage? A very
expensive way to get your laundry done for free.
================
The most effective way to remember your
wife's or girlfriend's birthday is to forget it once.
================
Words to live by: Do not argue with a
spouse who is packing your parachute.
================
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive.
