Sh*t our kids do

[Straight Arrow]

My nephew's toddler, a mechanically minded youngster, was playing in the backyard when he noticed the water hose nozzel laying near an orifice through the wall of the house. It was only natural for him to stick the hose nozzle under the flap of the orifice and turn on the water. His mom was horrified when she discovered the laundry dryer full of water!

 

[LousyResident]

My nephew's toddler, a mechanically minded youngster, was playing in the backyard when he noticed the water hose nozzel laying near an orifice through the wall of the house. It was only natural for him to stick the hose nozzle under the flap of the orifice and turn on the water. His mom was horrified when she discovered the laundry dryer full of water!

Pretty sure my kids were the reason I bought a wet/dry shop vac lol

 

[Irrelevant]

at least the hose isn't down his shorts..

I discretely waiting to take the pic

 

[BackofBeyond]

I discretely waiting to take the pic

Ya know, because decorum.

 

[HuntTalk Freak]

Go anywhere in the world and give a kid a chemlight…

 

[Dsnow9]

Quote of the day “Eliza, dad is going to chop its head off with a machete, it’s like a really big knife”

 

[p_ham]

My 5 yr old told his class that if you hold your sneezes then your weiner will shoot off like a rocket. That's why momma doesn't have a weiner because she holds her sneezes.

I may have been the source of this information.

 

[220yotekiller]

I took my 3 boys fishing this evening and my 8 year old was looking through my 5 year olds box and picked up a package of bass grubs, my 5 year old looked at him and his best reproaching voice said, "get your hands off my grubs." I about lost it I was laughing so hard.

 

[Dave N]

Our youngest kid (31!) just sent me a text. She went to a concert tonight and dressed like her normal Goth/Metalhead chick with the chains and spiked collar, etc. (I still chuckle at her for how she looks!) She said she set off the metal detector at the door and the guy just looked at her, laughed, gave back her bag and said "Enjoy the show".

 

[gouch]

My daughter invited my wife and myself to a BBQ at her house last weekend and asked if I wouldn't mind making a potato salad. OK. Three hours before the BBQ I get a text. "Could you pick up some tomatoes we're all out?" OK. An hour later I get a text "could you bring some pickles the kids ate them all?" I text back, "Do you want me to bring the hamburgers and buns while I'm at it?"

Pretty typical invite.

 

[Nick87]

So I just put the 2 year old in his room on a time out. While in there he removed his diaper took a shit on the floor, stomped then picaso'd the wall. Guess he won that round. This is why time outs don't work and ass whipping do..

 

[brockel]

When my oldest was in preschool we went and checked my trapline over the weekend. Shot a porcupine and a few cottontails and we made a pot pie out of the cottontails. She went to preschool that Monday and told the class we made a porcupine pot pie.

 

[Straight Arrow]

My daughter invited my wife and myself to a BBQ at her house last weekend and asked if I wouldn't mind making a potato salad. OK. Three hours before the BBQ I get a text. "Could you pick up some tomatoes we're all out?" OK. An hour later I get a text "could you bring some pickles the kids ate them all?" I text back, "Do you want me to bring the hamburgers and buns while I'm at it?"

Pretty typical invite.

Text to gouch enroute, "Hey Dad ... we're out of briquettes and propane too."

 

[WildWill]

My daughter's biggest problem in life currently is whether to be a mermaid or a cowgirl when she grows up.

 

[BackofBeyond]

My daughter's biggest problem in life currently is whether to be a mermaid or a cowgirl when she grows up. View attachment 278507View attachment 278508

Good problems to have.

 

[millerkiller77]

We have lemon trees that produce almost year round. We give away lemons by the bag and buckets to anyone who'll take them. One of the boys brought home a jug of this sugar water crap

 

[p_ham]

I told my 5yr old I'm taking him antelope hunting this year and that he needs to practice being quiet.

He was out back Elmer Fudd tip toeing and "whispering" about how great of a job he was doing sneaking up on the archery target. He's pretty stoked about the trip.

 

[mdcrossbow]

Where to start "My 3 Son"

 

[rke]

Team work!

 

[brockel]

Oldest went out to work with her 4h goats. Youngest yelled she was going out too. I was putting stuff away so I wasn’t paying attention. Went out to help the oldest and see the youngest running down the path I mowed to the 4h goat pen in just her underwear. She said “dad it was just too hot for pants”. We’ve got a streaker