BackofBeyond
Well-known member
I’ve had that exact same thought.
Sh*t our kids do
- Thread starter Nick87
- Start date
Last 3 days
We’ve been potty training our 2-1/2 year old boy and it’s gone extremely well. We spend most afternoons playing outside and when he has to go he likes to pee on things he’s seen the dog pee on. Our tree, fence post, some plants, and one specific rock have all been claimed by him now.
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Redmt
Well-known member
At 71, I still do the same thing. It's a good thing I don't live in town.
We live in town. If the neighbors see him, we’ll just wave.
p_ham
Well-known member
My kid open the back door of my wifes pickup and whizzed out of it into the front yard this past weekend. The neighbors got a big laugh out of it which has only encouraged further shenanigans.
Dougfirtree
Well-known member
My oldest once peed on the street, while we were eating at a restaurant with sidewalk seating. He pushed right up against the little fence and let the pedestrians have it before we realized what was happening. That's what happens when your kids grow up in the woods, I guess...
BackofBeyond
Well-known member
Since we're on pee stories...
We were at my 4 y/o's t-ball game last week. Middle of the second inning he needs to pee, comes running off the field yelling to god and everybody "Dad! I gotta go potty!!!" Good thing there was some big mature trees to the side of the field, we went around behind a big one and let 'er rip. Then we went screaming back onto the field (where mom was coaching) "mom, I went potty on the tree!!!!"
All I could do was smile and wave when the surburbanite moms gave me the stink eye.
We were at my 4 y/o's t-ball game last week. Middle of the second inning he needs to pee, comes running off the field yelling to god and everybody "Dad! I gotta go potty!!!" Good thing there was some big mature trees to the side of the field, we went around behind a big one and let 'er rip. Then we went screaming back onto the field (where mom was coaching) "mom, I went potty on the tree!!!!"
All I could do was smile and wave when the surburbanite moms gave me the stink eye.
I feel like I could just do a daily post on my youngest anymore.
Last night the oldest and I were playing basketball while the youngest who is borderline feral is running around playing. It’s just a dirt area that we play where the chickens scratch quite often. Youngest is running and her gum falls out of her mouth. She brings it up to me and tells me if fell out so I tell her to go throw it in the tall grass because it’s covered in dirt and god knows what else. I go back to playing and hear the horses water tank splashing. Look up just to watch her put something in her mouth. “Parker did you wash your gum off in the water tank and put it back in your mouth” “yep dad I did”. “You are going to get worms kid”. “Can we take them fishing dad”. FFS not that kind of worms
Last night the oldest and I were playing basketball while the youngest who is borderline feral is running around playing. It’s just a dirt area that we play where the chickens scratch quite often. Youngest is running and her gum falls out of her mouth. She brings it up to me and tells me if fell out so I tell her to go throw it in the tall grass because it’s covered in dirt and god knows what else. I go back to playing and hear the horses water tank splashing. Look up just to watch her put something in her mouth. “Parker did you wash your gum off in the water tank and put it back in your mouth” “yep dad I did”. “You are going to get worms kid”. “Can we take them fishing dad”. FFS not that kind of worms
WildWill
Well-known member
My wife told our daughter to get ready for the lake. Here's how she came out.
Gellar
Well-known member
It’s all good until the preschool teacher calls because he’s marking his territory on the playground slide.
I’ll offer you a friendly piece of advice, it may or may not be from experience, when your wife gets the phone call and is red in the face embarrassed don’t laugh because you think it’s funny!
WildWill
Well-known member
This is just plain solid advice no matter the situation. But so hard to follow all the time.
rjthehunter
Well-known member
That's hilarious. But concerning, because I've witnessed what these kids do 30 years later!
So memorial day weekend I had a wedding I was in. The best man is 32 and just an odd duck. Apparently he has no gag reflex and when he's drunk, he really likes to show it off...?
The son of the Bride was also around for the shenanigan's, but he's only 15, so no drinking for him. He was sort of a prick because he knew I was weirded out by some dude wanting to show off his lack of a gag reflex. It never failed, at night we'd go into the airbnb and everyones a little buzzed up. The kid walks over to the gag reflex guy and says "Hey Andy, Ryan doesn't believe you don't have a gag reflex" So every night I'd have to watch a full grown (not very big) man stick his hand down his throat and say "LOOK NO GAG REFLEX" while wrist deep in his own throat. I'd always follow it up with something smartass along the lines of "yada yada I bet your throat is so numb from all the yada yada you're doing"
Long story short, don't let your daughter do that for fear she turns into this weirdo who thinks he's showing off!
I thought you were going to go into a story about bulimia but this was way betterThat's hilarious. But concerning, because I've witnessed what these kids do 30 years later!
So memorial day weekend I had a wedding I was in. The best man is 32 and just an odd duck. Apparently he has no gag reflex and when he's drunk, he really likes to show it off...?
The son of the Bride was also around for the shenanigan's, but he's only 15, so no drinking for him. He was sort of a prick because he knew I was weirded out by some dude wanting to show off his lack of a gag reflex. It never failed, at night we'd go into the airbnb and everyones a little buzzed up. The kid walks over to the gag reflex guy and says "Hey Andy, Ryan doesn't believe you don't have a gag reflex" So every night I'd have to watch a full grown (not very big) man stick his hand down his throat and say "LOOK NO GAG REFLEX" while wrist deep in his own throat. I'd always follow it up with something smartass along the lines of "yada yada I bet your throat is so numb from all the yada yada you're doing"
Long story short, don't let your daughter do that for fear she turns into this weirdo who thinks he's showing off!
rjthehunter
Well-known member
It was just uncomfortable to have a 32 year old dude get right in your face and be like "LOOK, NO GAG REFLEX" shit good for you dude, I bet your dad's proudI thought you were going to go into a story about bulimia but this was way better
BackofBeyond
Well-known member
I’ve been trying to get my oldest to spill the beans on what my Father’s Day gift all week. Tried bribing him with popsicles, candy, trips to the park… but little man has held strong until tonight. My wife started joking that they had forgot to get something, which J thought was hilarious and just had to get in on the joke.
“Ya, we FORGOT to get you a new wallet, and we FORGOT to get you a new shaker bottle, huh Mommy!?!”
So, I guess I can go through and clean out my wallet, and can trash my old, half broken shaker bottle.
“Ya, we FORGOT to get you a new wallet, and we FORGOT to get you a new shaker bottle, huh Mommy!?!”
So, I guess I can go through and clean out my wallet, and can trash my old, half broken shaker bottle.
BackofBeyond
Well-known member
Plot twist - that was all a clever trick by my 4 y/o, they did remember to buy me a wallet and a shaker bottle!
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