np307
Well-known member
The way this kid eats a hot dog...
Sh*t our kids do
- Thread starter Nick87
- Start date
WildWill
Well-known member
How about waking up at 4:50am and refusing to go back to sleep. All of a sudden according to my wife she's "MY" daughter like I didn't watch her give birth or something. Why are they always MY kids when being little Sh@#s?
LuketheDog
Well-known member
The chain of events in the car at school drop-off last Thursday morning:
1. The 10yr-old sees her friends and wants to get out first from the middle seat so she has to crawl across the 7yr-old to get to the door, against my advice. Since she is contorting across the younger sister, her unzipped backpack spills her Harry Potter book and other detritus on the floor.
2. The 7yr-old says "my tummy hurts, I might throw up", I tell her "GET OUT OF THE TRUCK AND THROW UP ON THE GROUND"
3. Of course she can't get out of the truck, because the 10yr-old is basically sitting on her lap, gathering up her spilled stuff very slowly.
4. The 7yr-old annouces "Daddy, I'm GOING to THROW UP!!", I say "AT LEAST THROW UP ON THE FLOOR MAT!!! NOT ON THE SEAT!"
5. I see it coming in the 7yr-old's face, the 10yr-old is now in a panic and goes full send out the door to the ground to escape what's coming, leaving me to face the music alone.
6. The 7yr-old has clear air to the floor mat or out the door now, but of course she turns back to the inside of the truck and proceeds to yak all over herself, the seats, down the gap between the seats, and around the seatbelt buckles. None of it went out the door or on my great rubber floor mats that I bought for just such an occasion. She apparently had a lot of milk and yogurt at breakfast. I sigh in defeat.
7. Suddenly I hear laughing, it's the 5yr-old I forgot was there, over in her car seat, still waiting for me to take her to preschool...she thinks the whole situation is just flipping hilarious!!
8. It took another 30-40 minutes for me to get back to the house, letting the cloth seats and carpet get a good, loooong soak in the mess. It was below freezing out, but I had to leave the windows down for the remainder of the morning because the smell was starting to get to me.
Steps 1-7 transpired in approximately 2 minutes...I've scrubbed, sprayed, scrubbed, soaked, scrubbed, vacuumed, and it still stinks in the back seat days later, hours and hours of cleaning caused by 2 minutes of action.
1. The 10yr-old sees her friends and wants to get out first from the middle seat so she has to crawl across the 7yr-old to get to the door, against my advice. Since she is contorting across the younger sister, her unzipped backpack spills her Harry Potter book and other detritus on the floor.
2. The 7yr-old says "my tummy hurts, I might throw up", I tell her "GET OUT OF THE TRUCK AND THROW UP ON THE GROUND"
3. Of course she can't get out of the truck, because the 10yr-old is basically sitting on her lap, gathering up her spilled stuff very slowly.
4. The 7yr-old annouces "Daddy, I'm GOING to THROW UP!!", I say "AT LEAST THROW UP ON THE FLOOR MAT!!! NOT ON THE SEAT!"
5. I see it coming in the 7yr-old's face, the 10yr-old is now in a panic and goes full send out the door to the ground to escape what's coming, leaving me to face the music alone.
6. The 7yr-old has clear air to the floor mat or out the door now, but of course she turns back to the inside of the truck and proceeds to yak all over herself, the seats, down the gap between the seats, and around the seatbelt buckles. None of it went out the door or on my great rubber floor mats that I bought for just such an occasion. She apparently had a lot of milk and yogurt at breakfast. I sigh in defeat.
7. Suddenly I hear laughing, it's the 5yr-old I forgot was there, over in her car seat, still waiting for me to take her to preschool...she thinks the whole situation is just flipping hilarious!!
8. It took another 30-40 minutes for me to get back to the house, letting the cloth seats and carpet get a good, loooong soak in the mess. It was below freezing out, but I had to leave the windows down for the remainder of the morning because the smell was starting to get to me.
Steps 1-7 transpired in approximately 2 minutes...I've scrubbed, sprayed, scrubbed, soaked, scrubbed, vacuumed, and it still stinks in the back seat days later, hours and hours of cleaning caused by 2 minutes of action.
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Next post will be tundra for sale at a great price!!!!
duckhunt
Well-known member
Im sorry buddy but I think this is funny as hell. I remember those days with my kids so you are definitely not alone. It will happen again.
Gellar
Well-known member
I'm pretty used to kids puke and vomit in vehicles. I may be interested.
Gellar
Well-known member
Both of our kids would get car sick when they were <2. They didn't know any better of course but it always seemed like we would almost be to our destination and boom, puke! I'm surprised the car dealer took the trade on our SUV it had so many puke stains on the floor and seats.
duckhunt
Well-known member
My younger son puked on the inside door panel of my truck. For the next couple weeks everytime I would role that window down there would be puke streaks all over it.
Nick87
Well-known member
Dude you gotta take the door apart and clean that shit...been there
I have two daughters who have babies right now. One is 7 months old and the other 7 weeks old. When the younger was two weeks old they were both at my house. The mother of the younger was going to change a diaper so she put a small blanket on the floor and laid the baby on it. The other mother said, "I have a changing pad if you want it." She answered, "No I have plenty of experience, I won't get anything on the carpet." She then lifted the baby by its feet to wipe its little bottom and there was a sudden violent expulsion from said bottom. Looked like someone stomped on a mustard bottle. That nasty stuff went across her pants, up her shirt and into her hair. She had quick enough reflexes to avoid a full-on face shot.
But by God she didn't get one drop on the carpet.
But by God she didn't get one drop on the carpet.
When I was growing up, my family had a cabin in the mountains that required a ride up a very curvy road. I had a friend join us for a weekend at the cabin and before the ride home my mom made a big breakfast of strawberry pancakes. My six year old buddy loved the pancakes and began eating all the leftover strawberries. About a half hour later, we loaded up the car for the ride home. After about fifteen minutes on that curvy road, my buddy tells my Dad, "I think I am going to throw up". My Dad quickly pulls over, reaches to the back seat and swiftly shoves my buddy's head into the tops of his overalls. My buddy, spews strawberry pancakes all down the front of himself, but not a drop hit the seats. Fun times.
duckhunt
Well-known member
Nope I just let it dry.
LuketheDog
Well-known member
Oh I know it will happen again. A couple years ago my father-in-law let them pour chocolate milk on Lucky Charms for breakfast (without my knowledge) before we left Arizona to drive back home to Colorado...you can imagine how that drive went.
WildWill
Well-known member
The kids are getting ready for bed and I walk past to find my daughter brushing her teeth and flossing in a interesting position.
LuketheDog
Well-known member
My kid does that too! She also doesn't like it if we check to make sure she's brushing...
WildWill
Well-known member
My girl dosen't mind me checking but she's also dosen't need checking you can count on her to get it done. Now my boy
! I can't even tell you the amount of times I've told him to brush his teeth he'll go in and come out 5 seconds later and swear he brushed and flossed. You'd think after being caught and forced for the thousandth time he'd at least learn to wait in the bathroom longer but nope same routine every night.
LuketheDog
Well-known member
My girl dosen't mind me checking but she's also dosen't need checking you can count on her to get it done. Now my boy
Ditto. My older girls are good about it now, but the 5-yr-old always falls for the "Does daddy need to come check if your toothbrush is wet?" It works every time, you'd think she would just realize she could get the toothbrush wet and hang out in the bathroom for 5 minutes...
Straight Arrow
Well-known member
He loved trout and whenever I caught one, he was afraid I'd lose it!
huntin24/7
Well-known member
My wife and I have a pretty good sense of humor as far as giving each other crap and joking around. About a month ago my 5 year old son and I were making cookies and I thought it would be funny to make my wife a cookie shaped a certain way. It was nothing a kid would notice, but any of us would get it if you catch my drift. He saw it but fortunately didn’t really know what it was. About a week later, we made monster cookies together. He was helping make them and I wasn’t paying attention to how he was shaping them. All of a sudden he says, “dad, I made a butterfly cookie just like yours”. 
. It’s pretty crude, but you get it 
. It’s pretty crude, but you get it 
