Marriage Advice story

kenton

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With Randy's latest podcast, there has been a few threads dedicated to marriage advice, jokes, ect. and I would like to share a story with you all. Now, before I do, please keep in mind that I am a good guy and that my intentions were pure.

A couple years back, on my wife's birthday, she called me after I had returned home from work to notify me that she was on her way home from work. Being the good husband that I am, I asked how her day was and even inquired as to why she sounded disappointed, if not mildly upset. She told me that she hadn't gotten to unwrap a single birthday present and this was the cause of her "less than chipper" phone conversation. I had given her a gift earlier in the week and the other presents she received were things that just didn't lend themselves to being wrapped. Well, I knew what I had to do: find something to wrap. I knew she would be home in about 10 minutes so I set off traversing through the house hoping to glimpse something worthy of being wrapped up in brightly colored paper, if only for a few minutes. I needed something readily available, easy to wrap, and of course, bigger is better. Bedroom: nothing, living room: nothing, kitchen: maybe a big stock pot but its round, keep looking, office: nothing, and then as I swung open the door to the laundry room, I spotted the perfect faux gift: a laundry basket! At this point I feel it necessary to again remind you that my actions were done with pure intentions. A laundry basket was perfect...well almost. It was big, it was easy to wrap, it was readily available, in fact the only downside was that it was a bit heavy since it was completely full of my recently cleaned but not yet folded clothes. No time to fold clothes and empty the basket, after all this was a fake gift just so my wife could open something on her birthday so just wrap it up.

Looking back on this fiasco from her point of view, I understand why it would be upsetting to get a laundry basket full of unfolded clothes as a birthday present; although the resulting name calling was a bit over the top and I'm not convinced those weren't fake tears. Perhaps, before she opened it, I could have told her it was a fake gift and not pretended that she had one more big, heavy gift awaiting her. Anyway, the moral of the story is that yes, the thought counts, but sometimes the gift counts too.
 
My wife's birthday falls on Mothers Day some years. I had watched her complain about the manual can opener for months so I shelled out some bucks to get her an electric can opener that would mount up under the cabinets near the sink. Winner winner chicken dinner, am I right?

I am driving home from buying the can opener when a lady commentator on the radio goes through a Top 5 list of what not to buy someone for Mothers Day. Number 1, appliances that remind the person of work they have to do around the home. Dang it.
 
One Valentine's Day I bought my wife an expensive set of satin sheets as a romantic gesture. While at the store I also remembered her saying that she wanted a new waste basket for the bathroom. The sheets just happen to fit perfectly inside the waste basket, so being efficiency minded, that was my presentation, with wrapping paper around the whole thing. In the last 20 years, I have never heard, "Remember the satin sheet set you bought us?" But man I have heard, "Remember that time you got me a trash can for Valentine's Day?" at least once every year.
 
I love these posts. Being freshly married of just two years i can read these posts and never make these same mistakes, only create new mistakes...lol
 
I'm a jerk and for whatever reason my wife puts up with my and all my hunting. I was away for Christmas but the last Christmas we spent together one of the gifts waiting on her was a brand new mop and mop bucket. The bucket was red and the mop handle was green so I place a big green bow on the mop and stuck it behind the Christmas tree. She was always complaining about the mop we had so I had to get her a new one.

The part I don't want to admit is on that day I completely tore the house apart and cleaned it from top to bottom.
 
I seem to recall something about a wedding.....THREE days before my first moose hunt in Alaska. If a guy could take words back.... the I ones I want back most are "at least one of us gets a honeymoon "

Oh to be young and SUPER DUMB again.....

Did you really say/do that? I had higher impressions of your strategic thinking than that.
 
i received a uncompagrhe puffy for Christmas last year, my wife liked it a lot light and warm. Well for Valentine’s Day I bought her the auroura puffy. Needless to say she liked it but said it was the most unromantic gift ever, but she wears it almost every day during the winter months, but I will never buy her a coat for Valentine’s Day again.
 
My dad got my mom one of those leather folder organizer things for Valentine’s Day so I learned at a young age not to go the functional/practical route for V-Day gifts.
 
I set the bar real low and I've always referred to V-day as a "made-up Hallmark holiday meant to suck away your tax refund" and have never bought a gift or a card and try to ignore it completely.

However, for her birthday I once got my wife a vacuum, because like others on here I heard her complaining about something and thought I could kill two birds with one stone, upgrade the old vacuum and get her b-day gift. She didn't even finish unwrapping it before I was sent to the doghouse. She's basically refused to use it ever since just out of spite.
 
My dad bought himself a Corvette on my moms birthday once... needless to say, I will not be doing that one I settle down...
 
In case anyone is keeping score, DO NOT try to combine a gift with something needed (2 birds, one stone situation). Only bad things come forth.
 
I’ve found the best gifts are those that I would roll my eyes at if she bought them for herself. My wife is very respectful of our household budget so I know these kinda things mean the most to her, because she wouldn’t buy them for herself.
 
The gifts that my wife enjoys and appreciates the most are either those I have made for her (kitchen table, butcher block kitchen island, window seat, office desk) or the ones that she ends up using the most doing what she loves, which is cooking for people (dutch oven, electric skillet, pot and pan set, etc.). Most would think kitchen appliances would be a no-no, but she freaks the f out, in a good way. I used to get her jewelry, but she'd always lose them within the first couple months and I'd get pissed b/c of how much they cost. . . . Have you ever seen a big, heavy dutch oven be lost or misplaced? Yeah, me either. :)
 

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