I’ve found several great uses for toilet paper

[Cheesehead]

Terrific advise.

*Teriffic*

 

[Hem]

*Teriffic*

You are correct.

 

[BigHornRam]

*Teriffic*

Title of future number one hit by Florida Georgia Line......

 

[morley.tyler]

 

[Deleted member 28227]

You guys don't have a bidet?

Plebs

 

[HighDesertSage]

You guys don't have a bidet?

Plebs

Fuggin game changer right there.

 

[Ben Lamb]

You guys don't have a bidet?

Plebs

I'm waiting for the personal robots who wipe.

 

[HighDesertSage]

I like the Costco brand double ply for all of these ventures. Cheap, single ply government issue TP is not robust enough and you can have a colossal sheet failure. I also like nice and neat embossing, but it’s hard to find TP like that these day because kids have no work ethic.

You can do the following with good quality, well embossed, double ply TP;

1) wipe your butt after a heavy meal of ground venison with sauces on it.
2) use it to stuff up your nose after you insult a guys dog and he dots your eyes, leaving you with a nosebleed.
3) use it to stuff in your ears while you are varmint hunting with your BAR .308.
4) use it to stuff in your partners mouth if he complains incessantly about how you butchered your Savage 99 when you drilled and tapped it for scope mounts

Of course, if you’ve used the TP for use 1, don’t repurpose it for uses 2 and 3. You could go ahead and repurpose for use 4, but you might then get your eyes dotted and need some for use 2.

For sheer comfort, durability, and availability, it's hard to beat shirt sleeves...

 

[Gerald Martin]

I'm waiting for the personal robots with warm water pressure washers.

FIFY

 

[Ben Lamb]

FIFY

I am not french, sir, I am an American. I need a robot to wipe my posterior.

 

[Irrelevant]

For sheer comfort, durability, and availability, it's hard to beat shirt sleeves...

... sock tops.

 

[Huntkook]

You guys don't have a bidet?

Plebs

Yes but the pressure may need adjusted.

 

[appaloosa]

I think @JLS was correct when he said that the collective IQ of Hunttalk is declining significantly.

 

[deer_shooter]

Of course, if you’ve used the TP for use 1, don’t repurpose it for uses 2 and 3. You could go ahead and repurpose for use 4, but you might then get your eyes dotted and need some for use 2.

...or just throw it on your campfire.

 

[BigHornRam]

You guys don't have a bidet?

Plebs

Hot tip. Hook yours up to the insta hot and you can have fresh brewed right from the throne.

#sustainability

 

[TrumpkinTheDwarf]

You guys don't have a bidet?

Plebs

Beat me to it by 52 minutes...

 

[BigHornRam]

...or just throw it on your campfire.

54 posts before that got brought into the discussion. You guys are getting slow.

 

[deer_shooter]

54 posts before that got brought into the discussion. You guys are getting slow.

Sorry, work is interfering with my enjoyment of some fine threads. @huntingwife is going to have her hands full this year and we are only 5 days in.

 

[Gellar]

My ancestor Ghengis would approve.

Judging by his cutoff boxer shorts his squirrel catching prowess has not always been as good.

 

[JLDemo]

TP is a multi dimensional tool!

For instance;

When damp, TP can be molded into small squares. Put them out to dry. Once dry, take a pencil or other item and mark each side with dots to resemble dice. Easy, cheap set of dice to pass the time for the diy folks.

TP also has a use for pranks, such as forming TP into a healthy looking turd by dipping the formed TP in tea and forming it in such a way that resembles a healthy log. Then waiting until your brand new C.O. comes walking around and throwing it at them, making it seem as if a wet turd has just exploded on his newly pressed uniform. Bastards nearly got me suspended for language and use of force week one of employment.

I learned a lot about life and my own temper as a C.O. many moons ago.

Bonus;

Soap makes excellent dominos.