How to Poop In The Woods

[dirtclod Az.]

When I gotta go there ain't no time for this.

Drop your trau. and let er' rip!

 

[VAspeedgoat]

I know two different guys that in their haste on a cold morning they didn't think to aim and got a hood full of crap in their coveralls. Like I said, they were in a hurry and didn't check.....until it got dumped down their necks.

 

[ignorethefringes]

I know two different guys that in their haste on a cold morning they didn't think to aim and got a hood full of crap in their coveralls. Like I said, they were in a hurry and didn't check.....until it got dumped down their necks.

How does one not take the time to turn around and admire your handiwork? What a waste . . .

 

[Shortbowshot]

Buddy of mine. Whom we call Sirpoopsalot. Is notoriously gullible. We were noodling catfish one day when the urge hit. Someone wise suggested he just go in the water. About the time the floaties hit the surface around him he figured out it was a bad choice!

 

[Mallardsx2]

My knees hurt too bad to do the duck squat and my a$$ is too tender to lean up against tree bark so I just wear depends.

#sendit

 

[marshman]

A friend's bird dog rolled in someone's woodland present moments after he was let out of the box. TP stuck to collar and smeared from ears to tail
Now that's gross!

Ouch, never had this problem...gives one pause for sure! Hope there was a creek near by.

 

[Caseknife]

I'm in the "log users" category, if I can find a suitable situation. Definitely make sure there are no sharp stobs sticking up. Suspenders can get in the way. Can't understand the people that don't even attempt to bury anything and right in the middle of the road!

 

[44hunter45]

I’ve found several great uses for toilet paper

Illegal in CO but I hear Montana is proposing a year round season.

www.hunttalk.com

And the one that started it all....

A tip for camper trailers at remote sites.

Okay, you've pulled the trailer/RV up to a remote campsite with no amenities and expect weather to get cold and nasty. Filling up the sewage holding tank is not a good idea. So what to do? Sure, one can always poop over a log but that's not fun when it's freezing out. Porta-potty will do the...

www.hunttalk.com

 

[westbranch]

Squatting is way better than sitting on a log. Just reinforces the bad habits you have at home.

 

[44hunter45]

If yer wearin' coveralls make sure your hood is pulled well between yer feet. Nuff said

Future Talkie Award thread here. It's always about poop.....

Suspenders. Make sure they are pulled back clear of the line of fire.

One aspect not covered in the video was whether you should take care of this at the first urge, or wait under you have a good full load? I'm in the, "Poop early, poop often" camp.
It's amazing how holding it distracts you from the immersive nature experience.

But then, after two cups of dark roast and a 1/4 mile of large muscle movement I'm done waiting, it's do it now or go home to clean up. If you see my truck at the trail head. You had better draw a 1/4 mile circle around it and not disturb any turned over ground.

 

[gouch]

I'm still looking for the adult version

 

[fleabagmatt]

I'm still looking for the adult version
View attachment 214684

I picked up one of these at a thrift store (without the catch pan) for hunting camp. It's pretty posh, I have to say. Dig a hole beneath it, put up a tarp for some privacy and let 'er rip!

 

[dirtclod Az.]

My buddy has a 5gal. bucket with a toilet
lid attached to it, "Luggable Loo". You rinse it out
with water and dump it in a hole.
If you don't he get's mighty testy!

 

[JDH]

The key is find a log with a good sturdy branch coming off parallel to the grand at an approximate 35° angle from the tree. It creates that nice little v shape to give you the support you need while leaving a wide enough hole to allow the necessary expulsions to proceed through toward the hole in the ground. Boujie woods poopin' right there.

This guy has it figured out. I was going to post this but wanted to get through the thread first. I've been known to push it a bit trying to find a good downed tree.

 

[JDH]

My buddy has a 5gal. bucket with a toilet
lid attached to it, "Luggable Loo". You rinse it out
with water and dump it in a hole.
If you don't he get's mighty testy!

My butt is too big for those things. I feel like a circus elephant standing on a stool.

 

[Redman]

Make sure if doing it on a hill side you have good traction...I found this out as a youth. No I didn't land in it but slid on my bare butt about 30 yards down hill. Thought I was going to have to get an ambulance...my friend was laughing so hard he couldn't breath. 35+ years later I still pick gravel out of my cheeks. happens!

 

[dirtclod Az.]

Also when you look to see if anyone is watching, be sure to
look up in the tree you are under, (tree stands).
I have done that. I didn't see the ladder on the far side!

 

[gouch]

Check for yellow jackets too. Those little buggers seem to take offence to people pooping on or near their nest. And it's hard to run with your pants down around your ankles.

 

[OntarioHunter]

A friend's bird dog rolled in someone's woodland present moments after he was let out of the box. TP stuck to collar and smeared from ears to tail
Now that's gross!

Yeah, why is it assholes always have to take a dump at the designated parking pullout on the refuge where I bird hunt? Can't they walk fifteen yards and crap in the privacy of trees or cattails? Instead they leave their turds marked with fluttering stained TP flag flying overhead to show everyone driving by exactly where they did their business. Marking their territory I guess. Probably lift their leg to take a piss too. Animals!

 

[JohnCushman]

You haven't $hit in the wild until you've been on patrol for 8 days and kicked in the end of a wooden ammo crate and lined it with a trash bag and did your business in front of whoever else in the platoon had to go next.