How to Poop In The Woods

Buddy of mine. Whom we call Sirpoopsalot. Is notoriously gullible. We were noodling catfish one day when the urge hit. Someone wise suggested he just go in the water. About the time the floaties hit the surface around him he figured out it was a bad choice!
 
I'm in the "log users" category, if I can find a suitable situation. Definitely make sure there are no sharp stobs sticking up. Suspenders can get in the way. Can't understand the people that don't even attempt to bury anything and right in the middle of the road!
 

And the one that started it all....
 
If yer wearin' coveralls make sure your hood is pulled well between yer feet. Nuff said
Future Talkie Award thread here. It's always about poop.....

Suspenders. Make sure they are pulled back clear of the line of fire.

One aspect not covered in the video was whether you should take care of this at the first urge, or wait under you have a good full load? I'm in the, "Poop early, poop often" camp.
It's amazing how holding it distracts you from the immersive nature experience.

But then, after two cups of dark roast and a 1/4 mile of large muscle movement I'm done waiting, it's do it now or go home to clean up. If you see my truck at the trail head. You had better draw a 1/4 mile circle around it and not disturb any turned over ground.
 
I'm still looking for the adult version
View attachment 214684

I picked up one of these at a thrift store (without the catch pan) for hunting camp. It's pretty posh, I have to say. Dig a hole beneath it, put up a tarp for some privacy and let 'er rip!

71Z057A2ZeS._AC_SX425_.jpg
 
My buddy has a 5gal. bucket with a toilet
lid attached to it, "Luggable Loo". You rinse it out
with water and dump it in a hole.
If you don't he get's mighty testy!
 
Last edited:
The key is find a log with a good sturdy branch coming off parallel to the grand at an approximate 35° angle from the tree. It creates that nice little v shape to give you the support you need while leaving a wide enough hole to allow the necessary expulsions to proceed through toward the hole in the ground. Boujie woods poopin' right there.
This guy has it figured out. I was going to post this but wanted to get through the thread first. I've been known to push it a bit trying to find a good downed tree.
 
Make sure if doing it on a hill side you have good traction...I found this out as a youth. No I didn't land in it but slid on my bare butt about 30 yards down hill. Thought I was going to have to get an ambulance...my friend was laughing so hard he couldn't breath. 35+ years later I still pick gravel out of my cheeks. 💩 happens!
 
Also when you look to see if anyone is watching, be sure to
look up in the tree you are under, (tree stands).
I have done that. I didn't see the ladder on the far side! ;) 💥
 
Check for yellow jackets too. Those little buggers seem to take offence to people pooping on or near their nest. And it's hard to run with your pants down around your ankles.
 
A friend's bird dog rolled in someone's woodland present moments after he was let out of the box. TP stuck to collar and smeared from ears to tail🤮
Now that's gross!
Yeah, why is it assholes always have to take a dump at the designated parking pullout on the refuge where I bird hunt? Can't they walk fifteen yards and crap in the privacy of trees or cattails? Instead they leave their turds marked with fluttering stained TP flag flying overhead to show everyone driving by exactly where they did their business. Marking their territory I guess. Probably lift their leg to take a piss too. Animals!
 
Last edited:

Latest posts

Forum statistics

Threads
114,023
Messages
2,041,592
Members
36,433
Latest member
x_ring2000
Back
Top