How to Poop In The Woods

[Stocker]

Actually, I never walked a plate-o-poo to a campfire. When camping in my wall tent I pinch a loaf next to the wood stove. Just reach over, open the top, and drop it in. A helluva lot nicer than baring my cheeks to the elements when it's -20* outside.

Nowadays, since giving up moose hunting, I camp in my 19' camper trailer. The last two years I've been without water at the campground in Montana. First year it got so cold so early the owner shut down and blew out the water lines before I arrived (when constructed the water lines were not deep enough for year round use). He let me stay for half price. Last fall there was a problem with broken hot water tank when I picked up the trailer so no water hooked up. Also, no washroom/shower (owner was unable to meet COVID requirements). The truck stop wasn't far ... but sometimes still too far. So I had to improvise. Lined the toilet with a wastebasket liner bag and dropped it in the dumpster in the alley after I finished my business (grocery bags are the right size but quality is risky). No worries about sanitation as it was so cold outside the stuff was probably almost frozen before I got to the dumpster. The lids on that old timer were metal and so heavy I could hardly lift them. No worries about coons sneaking in for a snack. I would burn the stuff but camped inside the city limits fires aren't allowed. If you've ever been to eastern Montana you'd know why. Too dry and windy. Peed in a juice jug which was dumped down the RV sewer drain outside. Same with washbasin water after cleaning dishes. And the water in the galvanized bucket I used for spongebath and shampoo. Most guys probably would throw in the towel and go home or stay in a COVID infected motel. I go to Montana to hunt with my dogs not live in the lap of luxury or spend weeks sucking on a respirator. Necessity is the mother of invention.

Your worried about covid but spend a tremendous time dealing with your unsanitary excrement.



I’ll take Covid for $500 Alex.

 

[Stocker]

“Hey kids gather up we’re gonna tell scary stories around the campfire.”

“Oh wait a minute, give me a plate. When I get back we won’t tell them, we’ll smell them.”

 

[OntarioHunter]

Your worried about covid but spend a tremendous time dealing with your unsanitary excrement.



Give me Covid for $500 Alex.

It's my poop that just came from inside me. It's only unsanitary if I've already got cholera or other parasites living in my guts or leave it lying around long enough to acquire other bacteria and become unsanitary. Public washrooms or accommodations have a MUCH higher probability of being unsanitary, especially for COVID. Not sure what kind of bug I could get from carrying my poo in a bag to a dumpster but I'm sure it would pale in comparison to winding up on a ventilator with COVID. I'm not afraid of getting COVID. More afraid of paying the US medical bill if I did get sick. And most of all concerned about making someone else sick. I've held my dead son in my arms and pulled the life support plug on my wife. Yeah, I would walk through fire to keep anyone else from going through that. Taking a shot in the arm or wearing a little mask or carrying my poop in a bag to a dumpster rather than hanging out in a motel is no huge sacrifice to make for their safety. Glad to show I care.

 

[Stocker]

It's my poop that just came from inside me. It's only unsanitary if I've already got cholera or other parasites living in my guts or leave it lying around long enough to acquire other bacteria and become unsanitary. Public washrooms or accommodations have a MUCH higher probability of being unsanitary, especially for COVID. Not sure what kind of bug I could get from carrying my poo in a bag to a dumpster but I'm sure it would pale in comparison to winding up on a ventilator with COVID. I'm not afraid of getting COVID. More afraid of paying the US medical bill if I did get sick. And most of all concerned about making someone else sick. I've held my dead son in my arms and pulled the life support plug on my wife. Yeah, I would walk through fire to keep anyone else from going through that. Taking a shot in the arm or wearing a little mask or carrying my poop to a dumpster is no huge sacrifice to make for their safety. Glad to show I care.

I’m sorry for your losses, I was just poking a little fun at burning it. Everyone has the right to do what they think is best for them and those around them.

 

[OntarioHunter]

I’m sorry for your losses, I was just poking a little fun at burning it. Everyone has the right to do what they think is best for them and those around them.

Right? Or obligation?

 

[Stocker]

Right? Or obligation?

I’m gonna guess we are on opposite philosophical ends of your question. We’ll save that for another day. Let’s stick to poop talk.

 

[mdcrossbow]

I did this painting a while ago.

 

[Addicting]

Just in case anyone was wondering a styrofoam to go container from Panda Express works in a pinch.

 

[Nick87]

Just in case anyone was wondering a styrofoam to go container from Panda Express works in a pinch.

I gotta ask then what......

#whyiseveryoneshittingontableware

#amitheonlyonedroppingitontheground?

 

[Stocker]

I gotta ask then what......

#whyiseveryoneshittingontableware

#amitheonlyonedroppingitontheground?

I guess some of these guys take the “pack it in, pack it out” a little more literal than us.

(Reaches into pack) Oh hell the M&Ms melted in the trail mix……… wait! We didn’t bring any trail mix!!!!

 

[PrairieHunter]

Just in case anyone was wondering a styrofoam to go container from Panda Express works in a pinch.

Ahh, my favorite bear meat, panda.

 

[Addicting]

I gotta ask then what......

#whyiseveryoneshittingontableware

#amitheonlyonedroppingitontheground?

I lite in on fire then knock on Ontario hunters door!

Panda Express usually processes before you even get to a trail head. Reminiscent of Randy NM chili story.

 

[dirtclod Az.]

Eat a Mountain House, drop your pants, grab your ankles
spray the forest then rub your backside on a tree.

 

[OntarioHunter]

I've always wanted to try "Bomb" brand burritos in the Montana truck stop coolers but something about the name kinda spooks me. Where's the bomb gonna explode? That company's advertising executive is no genius!