Gastro Gnome - Eat Better Wherever

Funny Hunter Quotes/Lingo

I'm in the process of a bow build, don't know what I'll be running for components yet but I know it will be a game changer. This whole site is fire man. Hope to shoot a toad with it. Got to get boots on the ground though to find that giant! When I do...dirt nap for sure. I'm not a brown and it's down kinda guy ya know...I'm kind of a "needs another year" to get him to be a swamp donkey. Last years bow took a management buck...he wasn't the biggest one I've shot but he was on the hit list. Wasn't much ground shrinkage but I wasn't about to eat tag soup ya know? Then again, you can't eat the horns! Up in my tree, I had an itchy trigger finger and thought I hit him a little far back...ended up being center mass, right in the pump station. Told my buddy to "give me a minute" before I climbed down. When I finally found my arrow I said to myself "that's good blood" and just like that I was "on the board baby!" He never even smelled me...completely scent free when I harvested that joker. Just happy to have punched my tag.

#blessed
 
This guy be made me die laughing and it is a new favorite that can be spun in many ways. It isn’t mine, but from a recent Remi Podcast.

“You could fall in a bed of tits, and come out sucking your thumb.”

This has so many applications and is damn hilarious.
 
Oh and hunters who use the word "gnarly" to describe an animal.

Also, naming bucks and bulls is cringe AF.
I’ve only ever been apart of one elk with a name. He got it the day after harvest and is called stitches. Mainly because after we got him out I dropped my buddy off at the er and went back to get him around 3am after the doc got done stitching his him back up.
 
I’ve only ever been apart of one elk with a name.
Same here. Guy I bowhunted with had an encounter at close range with a huge bull elk. He said it was so huge, close, and intimidating that he never even got a shot at it. It was right in front of him, imposing a large looming rectangular shape that resembled a train car. He called his bull "Boxcar"!
 
Same here. Guy I bowhunted with had an encounter at close range with a huge bull elk. He said it was so huge, close, and intimidating that he never even got a shot at it. It was right in front of him, imposing a large looming rectangular shape that resembled a train car. He called his bull "Boxcar"!
Was that the year he jumped on the rag horn express?
 
My buddy's dad growing up was a hell of a farmer, valedictorian in HS and he'd let you know about it on a weekly basis....He definitely had a bad case of short man's syndrome. We all called him "golden harvest" to bring him back down to earth.

In your highest pitch southern Ohio redneck voice "Let her buck!"
 
I'm in the process of a bow build, don't know what I'll be running for components yet but I know it will be a game changer. This whole site is fire man. Hope to shoot a toad with it. Got to get boots on the ground though to find that giant! When I do...dirt nap for sure. I'm not a brown and it's down kinda guy ya know...I'm kind of a "needs another year" to get him to be a swamp donkey. Last years bow took a management buck...he wasn't the biggest one I've shot but he was on the hit list. Wasn't much ground shrinkage but I wasn't about to eat tag soup ya know? Then again, you can't eat the horns! Up in my tree, I had an itchy trigger finger and thought I hit him a little far back...ended up being center mass, right in the pump station. Told my buddy to "give me a minute" before I climbed down. When I finally found my arrow I said to myself "that's good blood" and just like that I was "on the board baby!" He never even smelled me...completely scent free when I harvested that joker. Just happy to have punched my tag.

#blessed
All that and you forgot "meat for the freezer"....bro
 
I'm an old.
I did hunt a white bull. Local name.
I have gigged frogs but why would anyone want a toad?
 
If you say/use/hear anyone else use these, I have made a handy list to help diagnose the problem so people can get the help they need:

TOTAL GAME CHANGER! = Low self esteem
SMOKED A GIANT! = Even lower self esteem
OH, I GOT HIM LEAKING! = Awkward in public settings and can't help telling jokes with dumb punchlines
GOTTA GET MY E-SCOUTING DONE = Chronic procrastinator who thinks Jeff Foxworthy is funny
I'M RUNNING A NEW SYSTEM = Adult bed-wetter who listens to "who let the dogs out" on repeat on CD in their car
THAT BULL IS A CRANKER = Uncontrollable flatulence in elevators
OH THANK YOU LORD, THANK YOU! (Points to sky, fist pumps) = Kleptomaniac who enjoys pickle ball and yelling at children
YEAH, HE TOOK A DIRT NAP! = Likely spent too much time at the petting zoo as a kid
 

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