Divorce, do you ever see it coming...

[Nameless Range]

Growing up and into young adulthood, I was fortunate to have been related to and been around some of the old Lutheran farming families of German descent scattered around west-central Texas. Listening to to those folks talk about getting married at 16, working a 160 acre farm, going off to war, hunting squirrels and rabbits to stay fed when times were lean; it never really occurred to me until later, but it seemed that folks from that culture and generation, divorce simply didn't entered into their thinking.

Those were some interesting people. Tougher than hell, but some of the kindest most hospitable folks you'd ever want to know. They're all pretty much gone now, but one regret I have is I wish I'd taken the time to sit down and interview some aunt's, uncle's, and their neighbors, and write down thier stories. They came up in a different world.

I like this comment.

Throughout my youth and into adulthood I always looked up to the old couples and elders in the Methodist Church my parents dragged my brother and I to and still attend. It was a church populated with old midwestern Scandinavians who decided that farming sucked and moved to Montana. I’d bet in the next decade it shutters its doors due to the attrition of mortality. But I can think of almost half a dozen couples who had wedding anniversaries that exceeded 60 years in that little church. Family friends of ours from there celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary last winter and the wife died this summer. From the outside, those are incredible love stories.

It does make you wonder if there is something to it. Though it also makes me wonder if those people just accepted unhappiness at times. But then that makes me wonder how much of our happiness is an attitude we choose. It would be hard not to argue there is at least some sort of cultural aspect to divorce rates.

On one hand I feel incredibly sorry for those who are suffering with divorce, but on the other there’s a lot of guys on here who have shown that sometimes maybe it is the best thing and something much more meant-to-be is waiting down the line.

 

[Wildabeest]

So many possible meanings... Do you mean she was well-suited to long-distance? Shoulders sloped at an efficient angle? Often seen in close proximity to flat brim hats? Hits harder than you'd think from such a small package?

I’m thinking “New, cool, nice looking. But totally useless for anything practical.”

 

[Brian in Montana]

Near Ranger and Cisco...fine people and good hunting/fishing.

All my people are from the Cisco area.

The deer hunting on the last 80 acres of the old farm was always hit or miss, but the Rio Grande turkies were big and plentiful. Kinda like the rattlesnakes.

 

[Irrelevant]

I like this comment.

Throughout my youth and into adulthood I always looked up to the old couples and elders in the Methodist Church my parents dragged my brother and I to and still attend. It was a church populated with old midwestern Scandinavians who decided that farming sucked and moved to Montana. I’d bet in the next decade it shutters its doors due to the attrition of mortality. But I can think of almost half a dozen couples who had wedding anniversaries that exceeded 60 years in that little church. Family friends of ours from there celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary last winter and the wife died this summer. From the outside, those are incredible love stories.

It does make you wonder if there is something to it. Though it also makes me wonder if those people just accepted unhappiness at times. But then that makes me wonder how much of our happiness is an attitude we choose. It would be hard not to argue there is at least some sort of cultural aspect to divorce rates.

On one hand I feel incredibly sorry for those who are suffering with divorce, but on the other there’s a lot of guys on here who have shown that sometimes maybe it is the best thing and something much more meant-to-be is waiting down the line.

I know it hasn't always been peaches and cream for me and my wife. But having made it through the rough patches, retrospect seems to always lead me to conclude the cause was selfishness, one or the other of us, sometimes both of us. I think the relative ease of the American existence has allowed selfishness to thrive. The lack of real problems and real survival struggles in our day to day lives amplifies the minor issues we all face. I don't think it's just divorce that affected, but depression and anxiety as well.

 

[Wildabeest]

I know it hasn't always been peaches and cream for me and my wife. But having made it through the rough patches, retrospect seems to always lead me to conclude the cause was selfishness, one or the other of us, sometimes both of us. I think the relative ease of the American existence has allowed selfishness to thrive. The lack of real problems and real survival struggles in our day to day lives amplifies the minor issues we all face. I don't think it's just divorce that affected, but depression and anxiety as well.

Well said!

 

[WyoDoug]

Reckon the courting would get real, the divorce rates would drop and the murder rates might rise if you only got one shot at it? Enshrined in the Constitution, no remarriages if original spouse is still kicking!

I think homicide rates will go up in that case. LOL My wife and I joke all the time that she's an expert at making bodies disappear. And the holes she has dug in the back yard.

 

[chuckchili]

In retrospect, my ex was definitely the 6.5 CM of wives.

That makes my last wife the 45-70: Big, old and ugly... kicks like hell.

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[TheJason]

Hits harder than you'd think from such a small package?

Given a recent thread where the different meanings of “hit” were discussed, I got a hell of a laugh out of this.

 

[TheJason]

Perhaps you should post a new thread: Help me choose the best fiancé.

It would probably follow similar philosophies I’ve posted, figure out your priorities and don’t overthink shit.

Unfortunately for both of my BILs, neither can see the common denominator amidst all of the failed relationships. Kind of like shooting a 6 pound .300 RUM and every time you get done you wonder WTF does my shoulder hurt?

 

[OntarioHunter]

In retrospect, my ex was definitely the 6.5 CM of wives.

Glamorous but no good downrange.

 

[WyoDoug]

I’m thinking “New, cool, nice looking. But totally useless for anything practical.”

Now you gotta talk about my ex? LOL Fits her to the T. She was really good looking, nice build but cornbread not done in the middle. Plus I think she was bipolar big time.

 

[Shangobango]

divorce, do you ever see it coming,

21 years together, kid graduates and goes into military,,,, wife decides needs to be free,,, wonder what I missed,,,,

Yes you see it coming sometimes.

It still sucks even when you do.

Sorry man, let me know it there is anything I can do for you?

 

[Nameless Range]

I think the relative ease of the American existence has allowed selfishness to thrive. The lack of real problems and real survival struggles in our day to day lives amplifies the minor issues we all face. I don't think it's just divorce that affected, but depression and anxiety as well.

I think there is a lot of wisdom in this.

The other thread where you brought up 1984 got me to get out my copy of Brave New World. Pretty much all my books are marked up with highlighters, and this is one of the chunks I highlighted in that book, which made me think of what you wrote above.:


“Actual happiness always looks pretty squalid in comparison with the overcompensations for misery. And, of course, stability isn't nearly so spectacular as instability. And being contented has none of the glamour of a good fight against misfortune, none of the picturesqueness of a struggle with temptation, or a fatal overthrow by passion or doubt. Happiness is never grand.”

 

[RidgeRoamingRichard]

I think there is a lot of wisdom in this.

The other thread where you brought up 1984 got me to get out my copy of Brave New World. Pretty much all my books are marked up with highlighters, and this is one of the chunks I highlighted in that book, which made me think of what you wrote above.:


“Actual happiness always looks pretty squalid in comparison with the overcompensations for misery. And, of course, stability isn't nearly so spectacular as instability. And being contented has none of the glamour of a good fight against misfortune, none of the picturesqueness of a struggle with temptation, or a fatal overthrow by passion or doubt. Happiness is never grand.”

These days, you could highlight that book from cover to cover and it would all be applicable. As all hunters know, happiness is a product of struggle. Too much struggle will erode happiness, but too little struggle will undercut it.

 

[OntarioHunter]

JLS said: ... I made a couple of trips to the Scratch Gravel Hills to take Finn for a hike instead of saying what I really wanted to.

A rare moment of self control?

Hmmm. Some problems editing that. Some kind of glitch.

 

[The Hedgehog]

When you have no choice - take the opportunity to upgrade.

 

[TheJason]

A rare moment of self control?

Hmmm. Some problems editing that. Some kind of glitch.

Oh I know, it’s sooo weird riiite??? What was even weirder was a deja vu moment of chronic embellishments and perpetual misrepresentation of reality.

 

[IdahoPotato]

Wild to see this come back to the top. I posted here last year 3 days after mine ended. It's been a year and a couple months and things have gone about how I expected. Helped my ex move herself and our dogs to Spain in January. Sat through stay at home/end times in a crappy small apartment alone. Finally found a house after fighting through the panic buyers fleeing California to Idaho. Tore into said house as a means to pass the time. Hunted anything and everything through the fall. Trying to find ways to pass the time through the winter. The lack of daylight really gets rough for me as an office dweller. Skied for the first time in four years. I still talk to her a few times a month to make sure things are ok. Speaking terms seems like a good place to be. Still glad we never had kids, I could not imagine. Starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel - Spring and daylight can't come soon enough.

 

[Tom_Nguyen]

After 15 years, my wife made me a single daddy for Facebook friends, it is sucks, I love to do what I always wanted to do such as hunting and buy gun. Now I have to say thank you for getting rid of me.
I live my reloading bench, now I can reload in the kitchen in my house, that makes a much happier man.

happy reloading and happy shooting and happy hunting. Hunt as your Heath allows, don’t wait!