Dad Joke thread

[noharleyyet]

 

[MarvB]

 

[kansasdad]

 

[Saph]

The shovel may have been a ground breaking invention but the broom truly swept the nation.

 

[EJDXT20]

 

[Saph]

In response to someone going to a island near me that is basically split wide open with the original poster on a boat



'Jebus, how big is the gap now you reckon? theres no more putting this back the way it was thats for shore (yes i saw the pun and ran with it)'

 

[Stocker]

A little old lady gets pulled over by a trooper. As he walks up to the window she informs him that she has a concealed carry permit and is armed. He’s not too concerned and asks what she is carrying. She pulls a Glock 19 off her hip and lays it on the seat, pulls a S&W model 37 off her ankle, pulls a Ruger Redhawk 44 mag from the center console, a Glock 32 from the glovebox, flips up the back seat to reveal a bull pup shotgun an an AR.

The trooper in absolute shock says “Mam, I gotta ask just what in the hell you’re so afraid of?”

In her best Clint Eastwood look and snd voice she slowly turns to him and says “not a damn thing.”

 

[EJDXT20]

Saw this recently floating around.

"My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car...and then ignored her all day for no reason."

 

[RojoGrande]

How come photons don't use luggage?



They are travelling light...

 

[Festus]

What's the leading cause of dry skin?
...towels

 

[Festus]

I first noticed I was going bald when it took me longer and longer to wash my face.

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[coker737]

Mushroom walks into a bar sits down and orders a drink. Bartender says we don't serve mushrooms here. Mushroom says why not I'm a fungi.

Greatness

 

[Festus]

What do you call a T-rex who sells guns?
A small arms dealer.

 

[seeth07]

What do you call a T-rex who sells guns?
A small arms dealer.

reminds me of a borderline dad joke...assuming your kids are of age to think its funny...

Why was the T-rex the meanest and angriest dinosaur of all time?

Because his arms were too short to reach his wiener.

 

[kansasdad]

You should never brush your teeth with your left hand…….



A toothbrush is much more efficient.

 

[Festus]

If the cops pull over a U-Haul, did they bust a move?

 

[Wild Bill]

 

[wa_archer]

Did you know diarrhea is genetic? Yep it runs in your jeans.

 

[noharleyyet]