Dad Joke thread

[kansasdad]

 

[kansasdad]

 

[kansasdad]

 

[Letthemgrow]

What's genre of music do ballons hate most?

Pop

 

[EJDXT20]

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

 

[kansasdad]

 

[grandfallsoutfitter.com]

Say this 3 times as fast you can. "One smart fellow, he felt smart."

 

[kansasdad]

 

[MarvB]

Here’s a few my kids HATE!

"Why Did The Bike Refuse To Move?"
"It was two tired."

"What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?" "They're both Paris sites."

"I asked my dog what's two minus two. He said nothing."

.... dunno, maybe it’s my delivery?

 

[noharleyyet]

"I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator."

"A skeleton walks into a bar and says, 'Hey, bartender. I'll have one beer and a mop."

"I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said never mind."

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[Festus]

 

[mdcrossbow]

Dad drops me off at the recruiting office: "you'll learn to drink coffee black now"

 

[fmnjr]

Family member - outraged or upset: I hurt _____, I did ______ or ______ and _____ or _____ happened.

Me, dead-panning: Well, don't do that again then.

 

[fmnjr]

Wife: Something stinks in here!

Me: It's your upper lip.

 

[JimQ]

I used to have a girlfriend that was cross eyed. It didnt work out though because we just couldn't see eye to eye...plus I think she was seeing somebody on the side.

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[WyoDoug]

I think this barely qualifies as a dad joke but posting it anyways LOL

My father-in-law calls me margarine. He says my wife could have done butter.

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[fmnjr]

Discussion between my Dad and his Wife:

Her: My step daughter's BF is a worthless bum.

Dad: I told you before, it's all about that swingin' hammer.