Dad Joke thread

[noharleyyet]

Smh, I cant believe how many times I read that until it clicked.

That’s how you know it’s a good one... and that you’re a dad.

 

[2rocky]

 

[geewhiz]

Did you hear about the guy that got a job at the zoo circumsizing elephants? The pay wasn't great but he got huge tips.

 

[Southern Elk]

 

[MarvB]

 

[winmag]

 

[WyoDoug]

 

[longbow51]

 

[QuazyQuinton]

My wife: For my workout tomorrow, I have to do diamond pushups.
My son: Are they hard?

He's preparing to become a dad.

QQ

 

[kansasdad]

 

[Southern Elk]

 

[elkduds]

Bad dad names:
Phil McCracken
Michael Fitzpatrick or Patrick Fitzmichael
Heywood Jablomi
Juan Andon

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[noharleyyet]

Advanced Dad Joke...

 

[MarvB]

Just for today (though my kids say they’d cringe “any day”)

What do you call 10 rabbits marching backward?
A receding hareline.

Where does the Easter Bunny get his eggs?
From an eggplant.

Why was the Easter Bunny so upset?
He was having a bad hare day.

 

[MITCHMO]

Just for today (though my kids say they’d cringe “any day”)

What do you call 10 rabbits marching backward?
A receding hareline.

Where does the Easter Bunny get his eggs?
From an eggplant.

Why was the Easter Bunny so upset?
He was having a bad hare day.

Just tested these out on the family. Yup definitely dad joke quality right there. Complete with eye rolls and everything.

 

[Otto Matic]

Bad dad names:
Phil McCracken
Michael Fitzpatrick or Patrick Fitzmichael
Heywood Jablomi
Juan Andon

Have a cousin named Harry Toole.
Worked with a young man whose given name was Michael Y. Dick.
HEB supermarkets in Texas are named for Harry E. Butts.

 

[MITCHMO]

Have a cousin named Harry Toole.
Worked with a young man whose given name was Michael Y. Dick.
HEB supermarkets in Texas are named for Harry E. Butts.

No joke my dad worked with a guy named Harry Box.

My middle school teacher was Richard fiddler....and he went by Dick. Go figure.

 

[Nick87]

No joke my dad worked with a guy named Harry Box.

My middle school teacher was Richard fiddler....and he went by Dick. Go figure.

High school gym teacher was Richard Pump.

 

[MITCHMO]

High school gym teacher was Richard Pump.

Say it ain’t so!!!!!