A little humour for your day

[longbow51]

Ohio-Area Turtles Develop Sudden Interest In Pizza, Martial Arts

EAST PALESTINE, OH — In a bizarre development, turtles around Ohio have reportedly been spotted hanging around pizza parlors and practicing a wide variety of martial arts.

babylonbee.com

 

[Nick87]

 

[howl]

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[TN2shot07]

 

[noharleyyet]

*off color alert

 

[Sytes]

 

[Sytes]

Wife sent this - shared how fitting...

 

[Hilljackoutlaw]

So these exist...

 

[Keep on]

 

[Keep on]

 

[antelopedundee]

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER..

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE. IF YOU CAN'T DUCK IT, F*CK IT.

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

 

[Keep on]

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
[/QUOTE]
#7, definitely words our mechanics live by at the plant.

 

[Stocker]

 

[Huntkook]

 

[Southern Elk]

 

[Tradewind]

 

[noharleyyet]

No ragrets . . .