Ithaca 37
New member
> This was allegedly posted (very briefly) on the
> McDonnell Douglas Website by an employee there who
> obviously has a sense of humor. The company, of
> course, does not have a sense of humor, and made the
> web department take it down immediately (for once, the
> 'IMPORTANT' note at the end is worth a read too).
> xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>
> Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military
> aircraft. In order to protect your new investment,
> please take a few moments to fill out the warranty
> registration card below. Answering the survey
> questions is not required, but the information will
> help us to develop new products that best meet your
> needs and desires.
>
> 1.
> [_] Mr.
> [_] Mrs.
> [_] Ms.
> [_] Miss
> [_] Lt.
> [_] Gen.
> [_] Comrade
> [_] Classified
> [_] Other
>
> First Name:
> .................................................
> Initial: ........
> Last Name:............................................
> Password: .............................. (max. 8 char)
> Code Name:...........................................
> Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ........... ...........
>
> 2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
> [_] F-14 Tomcat
> [_] F-15 Eagle
> [_] F-16 Falcon
> [_] F-117A Stealth
> [_] Classified
>
> 3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day):
> 20../....../.....
>
> 4. Serial Number:.....................................
>
> 5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
> [_] Received as gift / aid package
> [_] Catalogue / showroom
> [_] Independent arms broker
> [_] Mail order
> [_] Discount store
> [_] Government surplus
> [_] Classified
>
> 6. Please indicate how you became aware of the
> McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:
> [_] Heard loud noise, looked up
> [_] Store display
> [_] Espionage
> [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
> [_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
> [_] Was attacked by one
>
> 7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most
> influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell
> Douglas product:
> [_] Style / appearance
> [_] Speed / maneuverability
> [_] Price / value
> [_] Comfort / convenience
> [_] Kickback / bribe
> [_] Recommended by salesperson
> [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
> [_] Advanced Weapons Systems
> [_] Backroom politics
> [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
>
> 8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product
> will be used:
> [_] North America
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Aircraft carrier
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Europe
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Middle East (not Iraq)
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Africa
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Asia / Far East
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Miscellaneous Third World countries
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Classified
> [_] Iraq
>
> 9. Please indicate the products that you currently own
> or intend to purchase in the near future:
> [_] Color TV
> [_] VCR
> [_] ICBM
> [_] Killer Satellite
> [_] CD Player
> [_] Air-to-Air Missiles
> [_] Space Shuttle
> [_] Home Computer
> [_] Nuclear Weapon
>
> 10. How would you describe yourself or your
> organization? (Indicate all that apply
> [_] Communist / Socialist
> [_] Terrorist
> [_] Crazed
> [_] Neutral
> [_] Democratic
> [_] Dictatorship
> [_] Corrupt
> [_] Primitive / Tribal
>
> 11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas
> product?
> [_] Deficit spending
> [_] Cash
> [_] Suitcases of cocaine
> [_] Oil revenues
> [_] Personal cheque
> [_] Credit card
> [_] Ransom money
> [_] Traveler's cheque
>
> 12. Your occupation:
> [_] Homemaker
> [_] Sales / marketing
> [_] Revolutionary
> [_] Clerical
> [_] Mercenary
> [_] Tyrant
> [_] Middle management
> [_] Eccentric billionaire
> [_] Defense Minister / General
> [_] Retired
> [_] Student
>
> 13. To help us better understand our customers, please
> indicate the interests and activities in which you and
> your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
> [_] Golf
> [_] Boating / sailing
> [_] Sabotage
> [_] Running / jogging
> [_] Propaganda / misinformation
> [_] Destabilization / overthrow
> [_] Defaulting on loans
> [_] Gardening
> [_] Crafts
> [_] Black market / smuggling
> [_] Collectibles / collections
> [_] Watching sports on TV
> [_] Wines
> [_] Interrogation / torture
> [_] Household pets
> [_] Crushing rebellions
> [_] Espionage / reconnaissance
> [_] Fashion clothing
> [_] Border disputes
> [_] Mutually Assured Destruction
>
> Thank you for taking the time to fill out this
> questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market
> studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you
> better in the future -- as well as allowing you to
> receive mailings and special offers from other
> companies, governments, extremist groups, and
> mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to
> this survey, you will be registered to win a brand new
> F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!
>
> Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes?
> Please write to: McDonnell DOUGLAS CORPORATION
> Marketing Department Military, Aerospace Division.
>
> IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the
> individual addressee(s) named above and may contain
> information that is confidential, privileged, or
> unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low
> self-esteem, no sense of humor, or irrational
> religious beliefs. If you are not the intended
> recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying
> of this email is not authorized (either explicitly or
> implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux
> pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been used in
> its correct context somewhere other than in this
> warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use
> and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the
> transmission of this email, although the Collie next
> door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you.
> Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown
> will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden
> message revealed by reading this warning backwards, so
> just ignore that Alert.
>
> Notice from Microsoft: However, by pouring a complete
> circle of salt around yourself and your computer you
> can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. If
> you have received this email in error, please add some
> nutmeg and egg whites, whisk, and place in a warm oven
> for 40 minutes.
> McDonnell Douglas Website by an employee there who
> obviously has a sense of humor. The company, of
> course, does not have a sense of humor, and made the
> web department take it down immediately (for once, the
> 'IMPORTANT' note at the end is worth a read too).
> xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>
> Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military
> aircraft. In order to protect your new investment,
> please take a few moments to fill out the warranty
> registration card below. Answering the survey
> questions is not required, but the information will
> help us to develop new products that best meet your
> needs and desires.
>
> 1.
> [_] Mr.
> [_] Mrs.
> [_] Ms.
> [_] Miss
> [_] Lt.
> [_] Gen.
> [_] Comrade
> [_] Classified
> [_] Other
>
> First Name:
> .................................................
> Initial: ........
> Last Name:............................................
> Password: .............................. (max. 8 char)
> Code Name:...........................................
> Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ........... ...........
>
> 2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
> [_] F-14 Tomcat
> [_] F-15 Eagle
> [_] F-16 Falcon
> [_] F-117A Stealth
> [_] Classified
>
> 3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day):
> 20../....../.....
>
> 4. Serial Number:.....................................
>
> 5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
> [_] Received as gift / aid package
> [_] Catalogue / showroom
> [_] Independent arms broker
> [_] Mail order
> [_] Discount store
> [_] Government surplus
> [_] Classified
>
> 6. Please indicate how you became aware of the
> McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:
> [_] Heard loud noise, looked up
> [_] Store display
> [_] Espionage
> [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
> [_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
> [_] Was attacked by one
>
> 7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most
> influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell
> Douglas product:
> [_] Style / appearance
> [_] Speed / maneuverability
> [_] Price / value
> [_] Comfort / convenience
> [_] Kickback / bribe
> [_] Recommended by salesperson
> [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
> [_] Advanced Weapons Systems
> [_] Backroom politics
> [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
>
> 8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product
> will be used:
> [_] North America
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Aircraft carrier
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Europe
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Middle East (not Iraq)
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Africa
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Asia / Far East
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Miscellaneous Third World countries
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Classified
> [_] Iraq
>
> 9. Please indicate the products that you currently own
> or intend to purchase in the near future:
> [_] Color TV
> [_] VCR
> [_] ICBM
> [_] Killer Satellite
> [_] CD Player
> [_] Air-to-Air Missiles
> [_] Space Shuttle
> [_] Home Computer
> [_] Nuclear Weapon
>
> 10. How would you describe yourself or your
> organization? (Indicate all that apply
> [_] Communist / Socialist
> [_] Terrorist
> [_] Crazed
> [_] Neutral
> [_] Democratic
> [_] Dictatorship
> [_] Corrupt
> [_] Primitive / Tribal
>
> 11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas
> product?
> [_] Deficit spending
> [_] Cash
> [_] Suitcases of cocaine
> [_] Oil revenues
> [_] Personal cheque
> [_] Credit card
> [_] Ransom money
> [_] Traveler's cheque
>
> 12. Your occupation:
> [_] Homemaker
> [_] Sales / marketing
> [_] Revolutionary
> [_] Clerical
> [_] Mercenary
> [_] Tyrant
> [_] Middle management
> [_] Eccentric billionaire
> [_] Defense Minister / General
> [_] Retired
> [_] Student
>
> 13. To help us better understand our customers, please
> indicate the interests and activities in which you and
> your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
> [_] Golf
> [_] Boating / sailing
> [_] Sabotage
> [_] Running / jogging
> [_] Propaganda / misinformation
> [_] Destabilization / overthrow
> [_] Defaulting on loans
> [_] Gardening
> [_] Crafts
> [_] Black market / smuggling
> [_] Collectibles / collections
> [_] Watching sports on TV
> [_] Wines
> [_] Interrogation / torture
> [_] Household pets
> [_] Crushing rebellions
> [_] Espionage / reconnaissance
> [_] Fashion clothing
> [_] Border disputes
> [_] Mutually Assured Destruction
>
> Thank you for taking the time to fill out this
> questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market
> studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you
> better in the future -- as well as allowing you to
> receive mailings and special offers from other
> companies, governments, extremist groups, and
> mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to
> this survey, you will be registered to win a brand new
> F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!
>
> Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes?
> Please write to: McDonnell DOUGLAS CORPORATION
> Marketing Department Military, Aerospace Division.
>
> IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the
> individual addressee(s) named above and may contain
> information that is confidential, privileged, or
> unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low
> self-esteem, no sense of humor, or irrational
> religious beliefs. If you are not the intended
> recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying
> of this email is not authorized (either explicitly or
> implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux
> pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been used in
> its correct context somewhere other than in this
> warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use
> and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the
> transmission of this email, although the Collie next
> door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you.
> Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown
> will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden
> message revealed by reading this warning backwards, so
> just ignore that Alert.
>
> Notice from Microsoft: However, by pouring a complete
> circle of salt around yourself and your computer you
> can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. If
> you have received this email in error, please add some
> nutmeg and egg whites, whisk, and place in a warm oven
> for 40 minutes.
