AZHUNTERR
New member
> A business man was getting ready to go on a long business trip.
> He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort with an extremely healthy sex
drive,
> so he thought he'd better buy her a little something to keep her occupied
> while he was gone.
> He went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around.
> He was browsing through the dildos,
> looking for something special to please his wife,
> and started talking to the old man behind the counter.
> He explained his situation.
>
> The old man said,
> "Well, We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on,
> but I don't know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks,
> except---" and he stopped.
>
> "Except what?" the man asked.
>
> "Nothing, nothing."
>
> "C'mon, tell me! I need something!"
>
> "Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there is The Voodoo Penis."
>
> "So what's up with this Voodoo Penis?" he asked.
>
> The old man reached under the counter,
> and pulled out a very old wooden box,
> carved with strange symbols and erotic images.
> He opened it, and there lay an ordinary-looking dildo.
>
> The businessman laughed, and said
> "Big damn deal. It looks like every other dildo in this shop!"
>
> The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet."
> He pointed to a door and said "Voodoo Penis, the door."
>
> The Voodoo Penis miraculously rose out of its box,
> darted over to the door, and started pounding the keyhole.
> The whole door shook wildly with the vibrations,
> so much so that a crack began to form down the middle.
>
> Before the door split, the old man said "Voodoo Penis, return to box!"
>
> The Voodoo Penis stopped,
> levitated back to the box and lay there quiet once more.
>
> "I'll take it!" said the businessman.
>
> The guy took it home to his wife,
> told her it was a special dildo and that to use it,
> all she had to do was say
> "Voodoo Penis, my crotch."
>
> After he'd been gone a few days, t
> he wife was unbearably horny and remembered the Voodoo Penis.
> She undressed, opened the box and said
> "Voodoo Penis, my crotch!"
> The Voodoo Penis shot to her crotch and started pumping.
> It was absolutely incredible, like nothing she'd ever experienced before.
> After three mind- shattering orgasms,
> she became very exhausted and decided she'd had enough.
> She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting.
> She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked.
> Her husband had forgotten to tell her how to shut it off.
>
> Worried, she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.
> She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive,
> quivering with every thrust of the dildo.
> On the way, another incredibly intense orgasm
> made her swerve all over the road.
>
> A police officer saw this and immediately pulled her over.
> He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink.
>
> Gasping and twitching, she explained,
> "I haven't had anything to drink, officer.
> You see, I've got this Voodoo Penis thing stuck in my crotch
> and it won't stop screwing me!"
>
> The officer looked at her for a second,
> shook his head and in an arrogant voice replied,
> "Yeah, right... Voodoo Penis, my ass."
>
> The rest is history...
>
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort with an extremely healthy sex
drive,
> so he thought he'd better buy her a little something to keep her occupied
> while he was gone.
> He went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around.
> He was browsing through the dildos,
> looking for something special to please his wife,
> and started talking to the old man behind the counter.
> He explained his situation.
>
> The old man said,
> "Well, We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on,
> but I don't know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks,
> except---" and he stopped.
>
> "Except what?" the man asked.
>
> "Nothing, nothing."
>
> "C'mon, tell me! I need something!"
>
> "Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there is The Voodoo Penis."
>
> "So what's up with this Voodoo Penis?" he asked.
>
> The old man reached under the counter,
> and pulled out a very old wooden box,
> carved with strange symbols and erotic images.
> He opened it, and there lay an ordinary-looking dildo.
>
> The businessman laughed, and said
> "Big damn deal. It looks like every other dildo in this shop!"
>
> The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet."
> He pointed to a door and said "Voodoo Penis, the door."
>
> The Voodoo Penis miraculously rose out of its box,
> darted over to the door, and started pounding the keyhole.
> The whole door shook wildly with the vibrations,
> so much so that a crack began to form down the middle.
>
> Before the door split, the old man said "Voodoo Penis, return to box!"
>
> The Voodoo Penis stopped,
> levitated back to the box and lay there quiet once more.
>
> "I'll take it!" said the businessman.
>
> The guy took it home to his wife,
> told her it was a special dildo and that to use it,
> all she had to do was say
> "Voodoo Penis, my crotch."
>
> After he'd been gone a few days, t
> he wife was unbearably horny and remembered the Voodoo Penis.
> She undressed, opened the box and said
> "Voodoo Penis, my crotch!"
> The Voodoo Penis shot to her crotch and started pumping.
> It was absolutely incredible, like nothing she'd ever experienced before.
> After three mind- shattering orgasms,
> she became very exhausted and decided she'd had enough.
> She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting.
> She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked.
> Her husband had forgotten to tell her how to shut it off.
>
> Worried, she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.
> She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive,
> quivering with every thrust of the dildo.
> On the way, another incredibly intense orgasm
> made her swerve all over the road.
>
> A police officer saw this and immediately pulled her over.
> He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink.
>
> Gasping and twitching, she explained,
> "I haven't had anything to drink, officer.
> You see, I've got this Voodoo Penis thing stuck in my crotch
> and it won't stop screwing me!"
>
> The officer looked at her for a second,
> shook his head and in an arrogant voice replied,
> "Yeah, right... Voodoo Penis, my ass."
>
> The rest is history...
>
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
