Ultimate Marriage Test

[44hunter45]

Anytime an attractive female coworker gets mentioned.

Me: Hey, Chelsi at work got promoted to manager.
W: Which Chelsi? The cute one with the red hair?
Me: Um, yeah the one with red hair.
W: What, did she call you first, gushing with the news!?
Me: Ah, no…but,
W: What’s the point in you telling me this, anyways!?
Me: Er, to tell you she will be moving to a different department.
W: Right. I’m sure that’s what you were thinking all along!

 

[BackofBeyond]

My wife is on me about that too….. I don’t have much to work with already in that department so I’m afraid of anything going wrong.

Did you hear the one about the Doctor that went to jail for a botched vasectomy?


Don't worry, it wasn't a felony, it's just a miss-da-weiner.

 

[MT Bound]

building a house...

 

[LousyResident]

its been 13 years, 3 children, and many moves from Michigan to North Carolina, North Carolina to Michigan, Michigan to Montana. Built one house together ourselves. Have been completely broke living paycheck to paycheck, to financially secure together.

Biggest pain point is the ongoing argument to get a vasectomy.

Honest question, why not?

 

[KB_]

Did you hear the one about the Doctor that went to jail for a botched vasectomy?


Don't worry, it wasn't a felony, it's just a miss-da-weiner.


View attachment 225043

thats F'ed up man

 

[44hunter45]

NSFW Marriage humor?
Google Troy Kinne Mystery of the Basket and let the rabbit trail begin.
We'll see you back in a couple of days.

 

[KB_]

Honest question, why not?

Honest answer, Scares the crap out of me when someone has a knife near my balls.

 

[Pucky Freak]

- Camping (in a tent)
- IKEA furniture / childrens toys that need assembling
- Moving large furniture, especially if it’s just for redecorating
- Home improvement anything
- Hunting season

That’s like the five horsemen of the divorce apocalypse right there, man.

 

[ammo]

That’s like the five horsemen of the divorce apocalypse right there, man.

The last one is why we should all teach our daughters to hunt right along with our sons. Hunting with my husband is quite possibly the most fun we have together all year

 

[LousyResident]

Honest answer, Scares the crap out of me when someone has a knife near my balls.

Man, they gave me a couple Xanax or something to take an hour before I came in and I was totally relaxed. I chatted with the nurse and doc through the whole thing lol. My wife waited in the car to drive me home.

Best $700 (if I recall correctly, no insurance) I ever spent

 

[VikingsGuy]

Hanging wallpaper - always said a smart divorce lawyer would have an office right next door to a wallpaper store.

 

[BrentD]

Hanging wallpaper - always said a smart divorce lawyer would have an office right next door to a wallpaper store.

So true in my parents case that I would never even consider wallpaper in my own house. I have not seen wallpaper in at least a couple decades, so I figured it had been (rightfully) outlawed....

 

[VikingsGuy]

So true in my parents case that I would never even consider wallpaper in my own house. I have not seen wallpaper in at least a couple decades, so I figured it had been (rightfully) outlawed....

I shared that childhood experience - only blowups I saw between my parents were wallpaper-related - especially fine patterns that needed to line up between rows. I haven't touched the stuff.

 

[geetar]

Vacation with in-laws.

 

[Nick87]

Vacation with in-laws.

Yup that would be the straw that broke the camels back regardless which way you flip it. Holidays with in-laws are close enough to making it happen.

 

[gouch]

Before GPS. Driving to a location I have never been before with the wife giving directions.
Her: " You go down that road until you get to the mini mart then turn left. Go until you get to that big building, I don't know what it is, but you turn right there and go until you get to that blue house with the nice flower garden then you keep going a little bit and turn right again. then there should be a road off to the left, it's right down there."
Me: "Do you have an address or a street name or anything?"
Her: Blank stare like I was speaking Greek or something.

 

[Redside]

There's a reason I have to fish and row the raft at the same time...

 

[Djfan]

Explaining the difference between rifles and shotguns for the 348th time.

 

[BAKPAKR]

I feel sorry for all of you. I have a perfect wife, well maybe @Mica Man has one that is a little better (I probably would no longer have a perfect wife if I hunted as much as he did), but mine is pretty good.

 

[jryoung]

When you wife is your boss and you start and office remodel that is 2x over budget as soon as they open the walls and discover the shit show of multiple, unpermitted remodels/additions.