AZHUNTERR
New member
SOUTH CAROLINA LAW:
In a trial, in a small SC town, a prosecuting attorney called his first
witness to the stand.
She was sworn in, asked if she would tell the truth, the whole truth and
nothing but the truth, on the Bible, so help her God. The witness was a
proper well-dressed elderly lady, the grandmother type, well-spoken and
poised.
The prosecuting attorney approached the woman and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do
you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you
since you were a young boy and frankly, you've been a big disappointment
to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk badly
about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when
you haven't the sense to realize you never will amount to anything more than
a two-bit paper pushing shyster. Yes, I know you quite well."
The lawyer was stunned and slowly backed away, fearing the looks on the
judge's and jurors' faces, not to mention the court reporter who
documented every word.
Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs.
Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a bad drinking problem. The
man can't build or maintain a normal relationship with anyone and his law
practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he's
cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost fainted and was seen slipping downward in his
chair, looking at the floor.
Laughter mixed with gasps thundered throughout the court room and the
audience was on the verge of chaos.
At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to silence, called both
counselors to the bench, and in a very quiet voice said, "If either of you
crooked bastards asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!"
In a trial, in a small SC town, a prosecuting attorney called his first
witness to the stand.
She was sworn in, asked if she would tell the truth, the whole truth and
nothing but the truth, on the Bible, so help her God. The witness was a
proper well-dressed elderly lady, the grandmother type, well-spoken and
poised.
The prosecuting attorney approached the woman and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do
you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you
since you were a young boy and frankly, you've been a big disappointment
to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk badly
about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when
you haven't the sense to realize you never will amount to anything more than
a two-bit paper pushing shyster. Yes, I know you quite well."
The lawyer was stunned and slowly backed away, fearing the looks on the
judge's and jurors' faces, not to mention the court reporter who
documented every word.
Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs.
Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a bad drinking problem. The
man can't build or maintain a normal relationship with anyone and his law
practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he's
cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost fainted and was seen slipping downward in his
chair, looking at the floor.
Laughter mixed with gasps thundered throughout the court room and the
audience was on the verge of chaos.
At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to silence, called both
counselors to the bench, and in a very quiet voice said, "If either of you
crooked bastards asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!"
