GunNut76
New member
Strange 911 Emergency Calls
A thirty-year-old Maryland man called 911 and reported, "You gotta put out the fire, man. My marijuana plants are burning."
When the fire-fighters team arrived they found the man sitting in his kitchen, in the dark, strumming his guitar.
A man in La Vergne, Tennessee, called emergency 911 to report that he and his wife had had a fight and he needed police to
come to his house and stop her from pouring out all his beer.
Velma Ann Wantlin of Houma, Louisiana was issued a citation for improper use of the 911 emergency line. Wantlin called
911 to report her husband for preventing her from watching the season finale of Knots Landing.
[Dispatcher] 911. What's your emergency? [Caller] I’m scared
[Dispatcher] What’s the problem?
[Caller] I just got a Ouija board for my birthday and now there’s writing on my
wall and I can’t get it off....This thing is going back to Kmart first thing in the morning!
[Dispatcher] 911. What's your emergency? [Caller] Could you send the police to my house?
[Dispatcher] What's wrong there?
[Caller] I called and someone answered the phone, but I'm not there.
Another Brilliant Master Plan Goes Down the Toilet ----
PLESOI, Romania - A young thief in Romania should have known his idea stunk from the beginning. Robert Cascota tried to make off with a cow and some corn belonging to icolae Leanca. When he was spotted, Cascota tried to hide in an open-air toilet booth, but lost his footing and fell in. The would-be
victim, Leanca, had to save the thief from drowning in human waste. When police arrived they had to keep him at a safe breathing distance with a stick.
Dispatcher: 911.
Caller: Help! Help! Send the police! I been shot!
Dispatcher: You said you've been shot?
Caller: I been shot!
Dispatcher: How many times were you shot?
Caller: This be the first time!
Or some people simply want medical advice. My favorite is:
Woman: I just had a baby and the doctor told me to do those Kegel exercises - you know to tighten up things down there
[giggle]
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am, I understand. Are you in pain?
Woman: No, no, no. It's not that. It's just that every time I do those exercises I have an orgasm.
Dispatcher: I'm sorry, did you say "orgasm"?
Woman: Yes. Am I doing them right?
Dispatcher: Sounds like it to me.
A thirty-year-old Maryland man called 911 and reported, "You gotta put out the fire, man. My marijuana plants are burning."
When the fire-fighters team arrived they found the man sitting in his kitchen, in the dark, strumming his guitar.
A man in La Vergne, Tennessee, called emergency 911 to report that he and his wife had had a fight and he needed police to
come to his house and stop her from pouring out all his beer.
Velma Ann Wantlin of Houma, Louisiana was issued a citation for improper use of the 911 emergency line. Wantlin called
911 to report her husband for preventing her from watching the season finale of Knots Landing.
[Dispatcher] 911. What's your emergency? [Caller] I’m scared
[Dispatcher] What’s the problem?
[Caller] I just got a Ouija board for my birthday and now there’s writing on my
wall and I can’t get it off....This thing is going back to Kmart first thing in the morning!
[Dispatcher] 911. What's your emergency? [Caller] Could you send the police to my house?
[Dispatcher] What's wrong there?
[Caller] I called and someone answered the phone, but I'm not there.
Another Brilliant Master Plan Goes Down the Toilet ----
PLESOI, Romania - A young thief in Romania should have known his idea stunk from the beginning. Robert Cascota tried to make off with a cow and some corn belonging to icolae Leanca. When he was spotted, Cascota tried to hide in an open-air toilet booth, but lost his footing and fell in. The would-be
victim, Leanca, had to save the thief from drowning in human waste. When police arrived they had to keep him at a safe breathing distance with a stick.
Dispatcher: 911.
Caller: Help! Help! Send the police! I been shot!
Dispatcher: You said you've been shot?
Caller: I been shot!
Dispatcher: How many times were you shot?
Caller: This be the first time!
Or some people simply want medical advice. My favorite is:
Woman: I just had a baby and the doctor told me to do those Kegel exercises - you know to tighten up things down there
[giggle]
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am, I understand. Are you in pain?
Woman: No, no, no. It's not that. It's just that every time I do those exercises I have an orgasm.
Dispatcher: I'm sorry, did you say "orgasm"?
Woman: Yes. Am I doing them right?
Dispatcher: Sounds like it to me.
