Public School Woes
- Thread starter thomas89
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rjthehunter
Well-known member
Please start a thread for her to share stories!
The “rest at home” part is severely lacking nowadays, unfortunately
David658
Well-known member
Socializing with adults is the best thing for them. Yes, play times with kids their age is nice, but growing them up with adults (well, 'good' adults) is essential.
David
NM
I have a first grader and preschooler, both in the public school. I can’t say one bad thing about it. The teachers and staff have been nothing short of amazing. The problem I see is the parents that complain constantly about the public schools and then vote down every referendum that comes across. You get what you pay for.
Southern Elk
Well-known member
My wife and I went to some of the worst public schools imaginable, in one of the poorest counties, in the poorest state in America. We both ended up being successful, because we had parents who gave a damn. It’s not a schooling problem, it’s a parenting problem.
perma
Well-known member
*me eating Oreos and reading this thread, kidless*
It truly doesn’t sound like this boy has any malice in his actions. Just completely out of control anger. The past couple mornings he’s been in a funk on the way in.
As I tried to explain to the guy, I don’t care if there’s malice or not, if my kid or someone else’s kid catches a chair upside the head there’s gonna be a big issue. Eventually he’s gonna be old enough and someone’s going to stand up to him, whether in grade school or as an adult, and it probably won’t end well. Just setting him up for failure in any event.
As I tried to explain to the guy, I don’t care if there’s malice or not, if my kid or someone else’s kid catches a chair upside the head there’s gonna be a big issue. Eventually he’s gonna be old enough and someone’s going to stand up to him, whether in grade school or as an adult, and it probably won’t end well. Just setting him up for failure in any event.
Just a couple of weeks ago a bunch of my wife's family was visiting. One was my niece whose son had been one of those disruptive problem children. Another was her son, the problem child, now all grown up. Another was my BIL who had been a teacher for 20 years and five of those years he was in charge handling the problem kids in his school. We had a long discussion on this very topic.
The most reveling comments were from the problem child. He described how he never knew why or understood why he acted out the way he did, but he did know that when the adults reacted the way they did that he honestly went into a state of mind where he feared for his life. He said that every time he got in trouble for hitting a teacher or a cop it was because he thought he was being attacked and he struck out in self-defense. He said he felt like he was in a constant fight or flight situation with no control over any of it.
My niece mentioned that once a kid got the reputation of being a problem, teachers would react to quickly and many times inappropriately to every little thing the kid did. Things they would ignore with other kids. I think that it is understandable and human nature to do so but it only exasperated the situation.
My BIL mentioned that at first when he had to deal with these kids, he blamed the parents. They didn't take it seriously enough or do enough to discipline and straighten the kid out. But with time he realized that it was rarely a discipline problem but rather a mental, emotional or physical problem that was way above the pay grade of almost any parent to deal with. He realized that where he had to deal with these kids and their problems a few hours a day, five days a week, the parents had to deal with it 24-7 365 and they are completely exhausted and usually well beyond the end of their rope.
Everyone agreed that it wasn't fair to all the other kids and parents that so much time and energy was spent on these disruptive kids, but no one had any real ideas on how to solve the problem. Only that something different had to be done.
The most reveling comments were from the problem child. He described how he never knew why or understood why he acted out the way he did, but he did know that when the adults reacted the way they did that he honestly went into a state of mind where he feared for his life. He said that every time he got in trouble for hitting a teacher or a cop it was because he thought he was being attacked and he struck out in self-defense. He said he felt like he was in a constant fight or flight situation with no control over any of it.
My niece mentioned that once a kid got the reputation of being a problem, teachers would react to quickly and many times inappropriately to every little thing the kid did. Things they would ignore with other kids. I think that it is understandable and human nature to do so but it only exasperated the situation.
My BIL mentioned that at first when he had to deal with these kids, he blamed the parents. They didn't take it seriously enough or do enough to discipline and straighten the kid out. But with time he realized that it was rarely a discipline problem but rather a mental, emotional or physical problem that was way above the pay grade of almost any parent to deal with. He realized that where he had to deal with these kids and their problems a few hours a day, five days a week, the parents had to deal with it 24-7 365 and they are completely exhausted and usually well beyond the end of their rope.
Everyone agreed that it wasn't fair to all the other kids and parents that so much time and energy was spent on these disruptive kids, but no one had any real ideas on how to solve the problem. Only that something different had to be done.
*me not looking forward to being up thinking about this sh*t at 2am*
Also, have a row for me.
What an awesome conversation to be part of. Probably a very insightful discussion, and I doubt at a young age a kid feeling like this can describe it well enough to help themselves (or others).
Damn. I’m so torn on this issue. The compassion for kids that are hurting, but also the frustration at keeping mine safe.
perma
Well-known member
You got it. Sorry for what you’re facing. One of the many reasons why I struggle talking about having kids.
HONEYBADGER
Well-known member
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2013
- Messages
- 773
Look into private school or maybe a charter school if they have those in your area. Most public schools are garbage now, which is sad, but should your kid's education be impacted negatively because some other kid is a problem and the school won't handle it? The answer is no.
Get your kid into another school.
Get your kid into another school.
corndog1
Well-known member
If my kids school start messing with biological truth I will pull them out
Homeschool is an easy way to provide superior education. My kids blow the doors off standardized tests even though we do zero prep. We spend much less time on schoolwork than it takes to send kids to government school and that's not counting homework. When we used the local public schools, which are some of the best in the state, we found we were having to teach the kids at home what they were supposed to be taught in class. I understand that is universally the case with the highest achievers in government schools. So why are we sending kids off to school?
It's difficult financially for many to homeschool because both parents need to work to pay taxes for things like government school and medicaid. My wife works weekends. I teach math, history, art and an elective on weekends.
I have plenty of time to hunt because we do school during the hottest months of the year when nobody wants to do anything but lay around in the a/c anyway. Also, we usually have afternoons free assuming one of them doesn't wake up brain-dead that day.
It's difficult financially for many to homeschool because both parents need to work to pay taxes for things like government school and medicaid. My wife works weekends. I teach math, history, art and an elective on weekends.
I have plenty of time to hunt because we do school during the hottest months of the year when nobody wants to do anything but lay around in the a/c anyway. Also, we usually have afternoons free assuming one of them doesn't wake up brain-dead that day.
Bam Bam
Well-known member
This is so stinking true.
The young adults that know how to look someone in the eye, give a handshake, and hold a short conversation with middle and older aged people are the ones who get all the promotions and opportunities. This holds true everywhere that I have ever worked. Kids who are only comfortable around people in their age group are majorly disadvantaged in multiple facets of life.
Addicting
Well-known member
There are hiccups along this road no doubt.
I wouldn’t change it for the world. I’m learning more about life, myself, & my Spouse thru this than I ever thought I would.
The growth that I get from raising kids far exceeds anything I got up to the point of their birth.
Not to mention the love, hugs, & proud parent moments. It’s worth the hiccups.
Nick87
Well-known member
Couldn't agree more with all of this.
