Doublecluck
Well-known member
Lots of good info here. When I was a kid I got moved lots of times and at one point went to a new school with no friends where I was different than most everyone else and got picked on a lot, by both teachers and students. By the grace of god I got suspended for 3 days for catching a garter snake and my grandparents intervened and used their address so I could transfer to a school 30 miles away with more kids like me. That was middle school, it was 11th grade before I could say I had friends and felt like I belonged again. I had a stepdad I hated at the time. It was still a pretty depressing few years. Somewhere in all that my mom took one of my uncles advise and put me in martial arts. That one choice probably changed the course of my life.
In saying all that, I think that how long he feels this way will depend on many things. It’s a complex formula, a cocktail of sorts of who he is, personality, self confidence, past trauma, mixed with all the factors he experiences daily, his peers, his teachers, home life and anyone or anything he interacts with. In all that there are many combinations that will result in him feeling the same but it’s only going to take one thing to change the course in a positive way. It could be anything, a friend, an activity, a mentor, or just time.
I just went thru this with my 2 teenage daughters. One more than the other and in different ways. We moved last year to a very small town where most of the kids have known each other for years. Mostly farm kids. Everyone in the community knows everyone. It was Rocky at first (last year) but seems to be getting better. For us we made sure the teachers and counselors were aware of the situation. Communication was key, I think teachers and administrators can judge students just like their peers. It helps once they are reassured the kid has parents/people who care and recognize how the kid is feeling. It also helps if they know you and your kids story so to speak, clear the air with every teacher, make sure they know you and your kid. A teacher/administrator who is aware you are aware is going to be less likely to ignore something and more likely to recognize and improve something they can. Like most people these people want to do a good job and are more likely to be successful when they know they have support from parents and will be recognized for it. In our case we made a plan with the counselor and a couple teachers to push our girls to participate in as many extracurricular activities as possible. Also the principal had a couple groups of students who he felt would be more beneficial for them to get to know. Even though though those original friendships were artificial so to speak it got their foot in the door and now they have other friends they met and some they “clicked” with. Also they now both got jobs in the community which helps with keeping em busy, self confidence, and the money to spend they aren’t complaining about.
Worst case bring him on vacation this fall to Montana and I’ll put y’all on some geese. Every 15 y/o boy needs to shoot sky pandas.
Thanks for being his dad.
In saying all that, I think that how long he feels this way will depend on many things. It’s a complex formula, a cocktail of sorts of who he is, personality, self confidence, past trauma, mixed with all the factors he experiences daily, his peers, his teachers, home life and anyone or anything he interacts with. In all that there are many combinations that will result in him feeling the same but it’s only going to take one thing to change the course in a positive way. It could be anything, a friend, an activity, a mentor, or just time.
I just went thru this with my 2 teenage daughters. One more than the other and in different ways. We moved last year to a very small town where most of the kids have known each other for years. Mostly farm kids. Everyone in the community knows everyone. It was Rocky at first (last year) but seems to be getting better. For us we made sure the teachers and counselors were aware of the situation. Communication was key, I think teachers and administrators can judge students just like their peers. It helps once they are reassured the kid has parents/people who care and recognize how the kid is feeling. It also helps if they know you and your kids story so to speak, clear the air with every teacher, make sure they know you and your kid. A teacher/administrator who is aware you are aware is going to be less likely to ignore something and more likely to recognize and improve something they can. Like most people these people want to do a good job and are more likely to be successful when they know they have support from parents and will be recognized for it. In our case we made a plan with the counselor and a couple teachers to push our girls to participate in as many extracurricular activities as possible. Also the principal had a couple groups of students who he felt would be more beneficial for them to get to know. Even though though those original friendships were artificial so to speak it got their foot in the door and now they have other friends they met and some they “clicked” with. Also they now both got jobs in the community which helps with keeping em busy, self confidence, and the money to spend they aren’t complaining about.
Worst case bring him on vacation this fall to Montana and I’ll put y’all on some geese. Every 15 y/o boy needs to shoot sky pandas.
Thanks for being his dad.
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