Marriage advice for a newbie

[VikingsGuy]

Any raises/OT at work put in a separate personal bank acct. Keep the spouse in the dark

You’ll need it for the divorce attorney - they can be expensive

 

[Deleted member 28227]

I just got married last year, my wife and I are both extremely frugal and in the process of buying a house. As well all know it, application season is among us and I tend to leave my frugal tendencies at the door during this time period.

That being said, I'm trying to determine the best way to present this hit (thank goodness CO doesn't make you buy the tags and give a refund anymore, I guess) to her without ending up either out of the point game or in the dog house haha She hunts with me but not to this extent so the point building and associated costs are all new as it's been out of my bank acct.

I was thinking of building a spreadsheet reflecting the total cost of all the points/tags and being as transparent as possible compared to word of mouth/rough order of magnitude cost.

Let's hear how the rest of you have managed this.

You know your wife the best, so take the approach that makes sense for your context. My wife is passionate about her career, I love the woods. I do my part to help her achieve her goals, and she will do likewise for me. Could mean we live in NYC, but hopefully it also means a sheep hunt. She's your partner, just treat her as such and you will be fine.

Being transparent, reasonable, and fair (to both you and her) is always in your long term benefit.

Cross reference this thread with the divorce thread before you stray from the path...

 

[EYJONAS!]

A guy could just be single to and rid himself of any and all issues....... just saying someone had too.

 

[Addicting]

When we first got married we didn’t talk finance. She was named in her parent’s bankruptcy because of her student loans. Her credit score was better than 3% of people her age bracket. I was running a 780 score. We got hitched and I didn’t find out till we went to buy a car and got denied.

After a nightmare with Salle Mae and the bankruptcy lawyers we got every thing fixed. We worked very hard to then fix her credit score.

After all that neither one of ever want to deal with it again. We are both mindful of Credit and discuss it regularly. However, I do not check her credit card, I trust her to uphold her end of the deal.

The deal is: In Army terms we have a left and right range marker. ( our comfort zone for each other’s trips) Everything needs fired on credit stays within those two markers @ 1-2k. If we have to send one outside the markers it is discussed before hand and we focus on funding it first.

3 countable trips per year. 1 family, my hunting, her girlfriends

There is a understanding that if I draw a 2nd premium tag in NM or AZ, I will be going at the expense of the next year.

This is not rigid but flexible depending on our budgets. She let me fly to AZ for the hunters safety class. I also coordinated her girlfriend to come stay with us for a long weekend on her husbands dime.

 

[Deleted member 28227]

A guy could just be single to and rid himself of any and all issues....... just saying someone had too.

You may forget with whom you laughed, but you will never forget with whom you wept.

Type 1 and Type 2 fun are all well and good, but when shit hits the fan and you have someone standing next to you, you realize what matters.
There is no hunt in the world worth more to me than my ride or die.

 

[Addicting]

Also plan ahead time make the best use out of time. We had a blast last year when I introduced them to the west. That was our family trip for the year with some hunting along the way. In February I have to out process the Army in FT Knox. The Army is paying for it so we are taking the kids to do Mammoth Cave and the Ark. The kids don’t care about the difference between trips like that and specific vacation trips.

 

[EYJONAS!]

You may forget with whom you laughed, but you will never forget with whom you wept.

Type 1 and Type 2 fun are all well and good, but when shit hits the fan and you have someone standing next to you, you realize what matters.
There is no hunt in the world worth more to me than my ride or die.

Oh I hear ya man I've been married for 10 years and have 2 kids. I'm just saying it's an option......

 

[CiK]

Explain to her how you will bring back grass-fed, organic meat....that stuff aint cheap in the store either....

I used to tell my wife it was a cost savings to hunt. She started keeping track. We are at about $899.99/lb now. I am getting there.

Remember Randy's advice too........peace before justice. Peace before justice is hard, but GOLD.

 

[CiK]

@LCH makes some great points. I make about twice what my wife does. My benefits are better. My retirement is far better. All of our money goes into one account and then we make decisions on how it's spent. She does our finances, and I trust her without hesitation.

Same here except my wife is a stay at home mom who decided to homeschool our 2 kids. Her job is CEO, CFO, COO and Event Coordinator. My money might be going in the bank, but it is our money that comes out. She handles it all. I feel like I am the luckiest guy on earth.

 

[westbranch]

Any raises/OT at work put in a separate personal bank acct. Keep the spouse in the dark

I know an accountant that provided payroll services and one of their clients wanted to make direct deposit mandatory for all employees. They were doing weekly payroll and sick of all the paper checks/paystubs. One employee was PO'd because he had told his wife he was paid every two weeks. Never heard how that ended.

 

[teej89]

I know an accountant that provided payroll services and one of their clients wanted to make direct deposit mandatory for all employees. They were doing weekly payroll and sick of all the paper checks/paystubs. One employee was PO'd because he had told his wife he was paid every two weeks. Never heard how that ended.

hahahahah!!! I bet that ended with her getting the every other week check she's been missing out on via attornies

 

[Fsmith]

I know an accountant that provided payroll services and one of their clients wanted to make direct deposit mandatory for all employees. They were doing weekly payroll and sick of all the paper checks/paystubs. One employee was PO'd because he had told his wife he was paid every two weeks. Never heard how that ended.

He handled that wrong, every other check should’ve went into different accts

 

[Nick87]

I don't even know if I could make a spreadsheet. We verbally negotiate, goes like this:

Me: Can I go ahead a buy my Idaho elk tag, they are selling quicker this year?
Her: Can you wait a week?
Me: Sure.

Me: I think we should buy a drahthaar from this kennel.
Her: How much?
Me: $1500.
Her: Okay. Make sure we get a black one.

Me: I think we should get rid of our pickup.
Her: How come?
Me: It had 300k miles on it.
Her: Okay.
Me: Can we fit a $250 monthly payment in the budget?
Her: Sure.

Her: We should go to Arizona for a week next year to see my folks at Christmas.
Me: Can we drive so I can hunt quail?
Her: Sure.
Me: Great. Let's plan on 10 days for the trip.

That's pretty much exactly how it goes here. Sure does make things easier with a women like that doesnt it!

 

[LuketheDog]

To be clear I wasn’t promoting his approach. It was a similar themed thread that has some good advice in it.

Oh, I agree with you, one past the initial mental constipation on the OP's part that one became good thread.

 

[LuketheDog]

Everything else goes into the account for next year or Labradoodle fund.

Wait, people actually pay money for labradoodles?!

 

[teej89]

That's pretty much exactly how it goes here. Sure does make things easier with a women like that doesnt it!

I'm pretty sure that's how it'll go, shes the one that suggested me take off all September prior to our wedding and our move to hunt elk with my dad last year

 

[teej89]

Wait, people actually pay money for labradoodles?!

I didn't wanna say it... I chalked it up as a typo

 

[ZBB]

I'm pretty sure that's how it'll go, shes the one that suggested me take off all September prior to our wedding and our move to hunt elk with my dad last year

You’re not the forum member that needs to ask for advice then.

If you’re worried about it this much, you’ll be fine, just talk to her.

Ive been married for 10 years and my wife told me this morning to apply for the special draw in Wyoming. She had several good reasons but the one that stuck out the most was “I’d rather you be upset about the money for a couple days, than be pissed for the year about not drawing a tag.” That women has shot so many holes through my stubbornness it isn’t even funny.

The only other advise I can give is to not start having kids right away, enjoy the time with just the two of you. BUT, practice make perfect...

good luck and congrats in your new marriage.

 

[Addicting]

I didn't wanna say it... I chalked it up as a typo

I guess I don’t get the joke.

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[rtraverdavis]

I guess I don’t get the joke.

Monarch Australian Labradoodles- Your new best friend is here!

We are a breeder of The Australian Labradoodle visit our site to see our upcoming adorable puppy litters and info on this amazing family companion. Labradoodles are Non shedding, allergy friendly, loyal and very even tempered, Located in Michigan

monarchlabradoodles.com

Bird dog guys being uppity...