Little things that will piss off the wife

6mm Remington said:
Went spring bear hunting with a buddy years back and the ticks were terrible. About every 100 yards we would stop and pick ticks off of each other. Seemed like I had about double the amount on me every time. Yes I'm a tick magnet! No.... not a chick magnet. So I come home and strip down just inside the front door and put my clothes in the dish washer. I pick a couple more off of me and hope I have them all. Nope!

A couple days later my wife wakes up and gets out of bed and goes into the bathroom. She's got two ticks on her, thankfully not dug in deep yet. She is not happy. A couple days after that my belly button starts bugging me. Get it, bugging me! I can't see into my belly button so I have her come and scope things out. She recoils after just a second of looking and makes all kinds of weird noises. What is it I ask. I am told I have a tick completely embedded in my belly button and just his little butt is sticking out is all that is visible.

I tell her to get some of her fingernail polish remover, a couple paper towels, and a tweezers. She fills up my belly button like a swimming pool and I figure after about 5 minutes of that he should be dead. I use the paper towel to get most of the fingernail polish remover out of my belly button, but not all of it! My wife starts plucking at the tick with the tweezers and she's farting around and not being aggressive enough and he's just not coming out. I finally got mad and told to grab the damn thing and pull him out. She finally does and the tick come out intact head and all. The tick is deader than a hammer but he got his last bit of me. The sucker has flesh from my belly button locked in his mouth. True story!

As soon as he's pulled out, the void is immediately filled in with fingernail polish remover and it stings like a SOB! I think she liked that I was suffering a little bit because I was the reason that she ended up with ticks on her too. It hurt lets just say. I'm thinking and hoping that the fingernail polish remover might kill any bad bugs. Damnit there I go again. Nope a few days later I get really sick and am burning up with a fever. I got to the doctor and yep I have one of the tick fever's you can get. I was running a 101-102 fever and it wouldn't come down. I was sweating bullets and freezing at the same time. Doc said it's not worth figuring out which tick illness I have so they don't test. He just puts me on high potent antibiotics for 10 days. Doc almost had me admitted to the hospital but didn't in the end. He did call me each day for a couple days after I first saw him just checking in to see how I was doing as he was that concerned. I got feeling better slowly about 6 days after I started taking medication.

I kinda went off track telling how my wife was not happy with me when I brought ticks into our bed with me one evening. She did eventually forgive me and even felt sorry for me as I was wiped out from the whole ordeal. Teach me to bring those nasty buggers home.
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No wife is happy with bugs in the bed ! Only took once
 
EYJONAS! said:
Boomer Version w/ words

View attachment 245510
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Pro tip ( no pun intended) @BigHornRam, all of these are except able for everyday use especially birthdays and anniversaries. However the last two, "The Show Stopper" and "The Minivan" are only to be used after big fights while making up, very important. You can all thank me later.😉
 
woods89 said:
Young guy I know from around here took 3 Amish guys to CO this year. He had quite some stories. Not sure if he'll do it again.

It's worth noting that the Amish are like almost every other group of people. There are some, probably many, who are absolutely great people. There are some Amish communities, however, that have about every vice known to man in their midst. Like any demographic, you can't really generalize about them.

But I'm getting off topic a bit here......
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This year on my way to Colorado I stopped at an empty rest area in western Kansas to sleep.
As soon as I got my passenger seat leaned back a pickup with a trailer pulls into the spot right next to me.
I wasn’t backed into my spot so I was like wtf, why did you have to park right next to me?
I glanced out through the window, saw a G5 outdoors sticker on the trailer and was like “yep, flat brimmers.”
But the I noticed they all had bowl cuts.
I rolled the window down and asked
“You guys wanna hunt my spot too?”
Freaking Amish. Smh
 
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