Little things that will piss off the wife

[Gellar]

So did he have a smooth way of working through that one or was it confession time?

I grabbed my guns and said I gotta go.

After I got home from elk hunting this fall I cleaned all my gear and set it on the porch. My wife asked me why I hadn’t put it away. And I told her Melvin, the Amish guy, was going to come and get it to use elk hunting in October. My wife asked how he was going to get the gear and all I could say was IDK, probably the same way he’s going to get to Idaho to elk hunt.

 

[woods89]

I grabbed my guns and said I gotta go.

After I got home from elk hunting this fall I cleaned all my gear and set it on the porch. My wife asked me why I hadn’t put it away. And I told her Melvin, the Amish guy, was going to come and get it to use elk hunting in October. My wife asked how he was going to get the gear and all I could say was IDK, probably the same way he’s going to get to Idaho to elk hunt.

Young guy I know from around here took 3 Amish guys to CO this year. He had quite some stories. Not sure if he'll do it again.

It's worth noting that the Amish are like almost every other group of people. There are some, probably many, who are absolutely great people. There are some Amish communities, however, that have about every vice known to man in their midst. Like any demographic, you can't really generalize about them.

But I'm getting off topic a bit here......

 

[choc dogs]

Asking if she’s mad when it’s clear she’s less than impressed. Then asking ten minutes later.

Put a towel on her shoulders.

Ask if she’s supermad

 

[mdcrossbow]

Wife has been a hunting wife from the git go. Not really knowing what she was getting into, but we made it work.
2 months after we were married she's pregnant. I was so happy. But come opening day gun Season in November , she's 2 weks late and I'm in full camo with face paint at 4:30 AM heading out the door and she said I think it's time. I said are you sure , your 2 weeks late. OH the chit almost flew. Turkey day 40 years ago we received a gift from God Jonathan 10-4 the doc said I said so everything is ok, he said that's his weight. She then found out my family produces big baby's.

 

[Nick87]

Please give more clues for the slow boomers here. Does this have something to do with a radish?

Uhhh, well...no

 

[westbranch]

Please give more clues for the slow boomers here. Does this have something to do with a radish?

Wichita State fans get it.

 

[BigHornRam]

Wichita State fans get it.

Strike two

 

[EYJONAS!]

Strike two

Boomer Version w/ words

 

[Nick87]

Boomer Version w/ words

View attachment 245510

Thanks for the sssist.

 

[EYJONAS!]

Thanks for the sssist.

 

[westbranch]

https://www.kansas.com/latest-news/article237161194.html

 

[BigHornRam]

Boomer Version w/ words

View attachment 245510

Good to see you young guys haven't evolved much more than us old guys.

 

[Benfromalbuquerque]

Well she doesn't take my truck anymore during hunting season! And yes you can fit two whole deer in the trunk of a Nissan Maxima! Probably wouldn't have been that bad if I had remembered that dang tarp! Oh well!

Deer fit in Buick Century’s too, true story.

 

[Dougfirtree]

Amish guys have cell phones?

Some communities "allow"(sort of) phones for work only, I think. Not in this area though!

 

[Benfromalbuquerque]

My wife hates corny Dad jokes.

-What’s a group of Amish witches?
A Dutch coven!

 

[JT88]

Deer fit in Buick Century’s too, true story.

Real luxury. The guys in the other thread would have you believing they only fit in Subarus

 

[6mm Remington]

Went spring bear hunting with a buddy years back and the ticks were terrible. About every 100 yards we would stop and pick ticks off of each other. Seemed like I had about double the amount on me every time. Yes I'm a tick magnet! No.... not a chick magnet. So I come home and strip down just inside the front door and put my clothes in the dish washer. I pick a couple more off of me and hope I have them all. Nope!

A couple days later my wife wakes up and gets out of bed and goes into the bathroom. She's got two ticks on her, thankfully not dug in deep yet. She is not happy. A couple days after that my belly button starts bugging me. Get it, bugging me! I can't see into my belly button so I have her come and scope things out. She recoils after just a second of looking and makes all kinds of weird noises. What is it I ask. I am told I have a tick completely embedded in my belly button and just his little butt is sticking out is all that is visible.

I tell her to get some of her fingernail polish remover, a couple paper towels, and a tweezers. She fills up my belly button like a swimming pool and I figure after about 5 minutes of that he should be dead. I use the paper towel to get most of the fingernail polish remover out of my belly button, but not all of it! My wife starts plucking at the tick with the tweezers and she's farting around and not being aggressive enough and he's just not coming out. I finally got mad and told to grab the damn thing and pull him out. She finally does and the tick come out intact head and all. The tick is deader than a hammer but he got his last bit of me. The sucker has flesh from my belly button locked in his mouth. True story!

As soon as he's pulled out, the void is immediately filled in with fingernail polish remover and it stings like a SOB! I think she liked that I was suffering a little bit because I was the reason that she ended up with ticks on her too. It hurt lets just say. I'm thinking and hoping that the fingernail polish remover might kill any bad bugs. Damnit there I go again. Nope a few days later I get really sick and am burning up with a fever. I got to the doctor and yep I have one of the tick fever's you can get. I was running a 101-102 fever and it wouldn't come down. I was sweating bullets and freezing at the same time. Doc said it's not worth figuring out which tick illness I have so they don't test. He just puts me on high potent antibiotics for 10 days. Doc almost had me admitted to the hospital but didn't in the end. He did call me each day for a couple days after I first saw him just checking in to see how I was doing as he was that concerned. I got feeling better slowly about 6 days after I started taking medication.

I kinda went off track telling how my wife was not happy with me when I brought ticks into our bed with me one evening. She did eventually forgive me and even felt sorry for me as I was wiped out from the whole ordeal. Teach me to bring those nasty buggers home.

 

[JohnCushman]

Breathing....

 

[Carl 9.3x62]

How about referring to your equal partner in life as “the wife”

Drives me nuts

 

[6mm Remington]

After I read the one about the gentleman going hunting with his wife being pregnant and past due to deliver, it jolted my memory and I had to tell my similar event. It was April and of course spring bear season. My wife was about two weeks out from her delivery date. I asked if she thought it would be okay that I went out of the afternoon and evening to look for a bear. Lets see, no cell phones then, no coverage if I had one, and 20 miles from home up in the mountains. I end up not getting home until about 10:00 PM. She's not upset at this point. About 2:00 AM she goes into labor and I drive her to the hospital where she gives birth after just a barely getting put into a room for the delivery. Literally minutes and a couple pushes and our first born son pops out. Even I have to admit man we cut that one close. Who knew she would go into labor two weeks early!

Your asking okay where does she get upset with me? In the delivery room I guess I might have been goofing off just a wee bit and exaggerating how her breathing should be. Hey I was just doing it like they told us in the birthing class! Nope she wasn't impressed.. I almost got 86'd from the delivery room by my wife no less.