Kids

[TOGIE]

^ coincidentally my son was born sept of 2022.

i've killed 2 elk and 2 mule deer since he was born. but it was absolutely less hunting time each season.

it's just all dependent on the couple and individual as a hunter. if hunting was second only to your spouse before having a kid (as it should be at a minimum) and then it becomes third to your spouse and kid (as it should be at a minimum), you will definitely hunt more than the parents who had many other things in life as a higher priority than hunting before kids.

whatever your wife says shes okay with you doing hunting wise before the kid and/or while pregnant is total BS, to no fault of her own. she doesn't know how she will feel and how hard things can actually be until the kid actually comes and neither do you - there is no prepping on this planet that actually prepare you for all the many nuanced things that will mentally and physically befall her, and yes, also befall you. your first kid is a trip down more lanes of anxiety and sleep loss than anyone can help you understand exist. be prepared for zero hunting time and definitely be the the one to voluntarily give it up if there is any slight indication she wants you home, but all that will get better with time.

i've been lucky to put in some decent days both seasons since he was born, but we're in a lucky situation being close to family and, not least, my wife really wants the meat. but you don't get to just dick around in the woods anymore having fun, hunting has to be a little more business oriented in compressed time.

it's all worth it. hunting ain't everything.

having one in the fall isn't even the end of the world either. plus, if the kid wants to be a hunter you get to give them the pro tip that they can now use their birthday wish to go hunting for their birthday when they're older

long story short, if you want kids, hunting should not even be a part of the equation as to whether or not you should have them.

 

[Four22]

I gave up a little but not due to my wife, due to me not wanting to leave home as much.

My kids are 10 and 8 with one due in the next 2 weeks. Add a layer that we’re adopting an almost 3 year old whose been with us for a month now.

I brought up applying for elk this fall with my wife and her immediate response was: “go, I’ve got the home front.”

If you have the right lady, your hobbies won’t change much.

My reduction in hunting hasn’t been due to “needing/having to be at home” more “wanting to be at home and be with my kids” for various reasons. I coach the 10 and 8 year olds sports which is awesome. Getting the “dad, when can you start buying points for me so I can go with you” is icing on the cake and future hunting promises.

Hunting now is still hunting with the addition of learning where the kids can go to hunt when they’re of age.

My children, biological and soon to be adopted are everything. And they fit in with my hobbies.

 

[Four22]

I’ll also say this. I haven’t ‘adulted’ around the right people.

What I mean by that, is that some other dads tell me that they lost a lot of freedom and this, that and the other after they had kids. They make it really seem like it’s a chore. Hell, when I lived in IL, I had people drool over the fact I went to CO every year for an elk hunt. I’d offer to go deer hunting with them, but no they can’t because of *whatever kid reason*.

Then they turn around and say much the same of what you guys say. Wouldn’t trade it for the world-type stuff.

It’s probably a me problem; I’m too literal I guess.

If you’re using your kids as an excuse, you better reevaluate life.

 

[Deleted member 48080]

I’d be interested to hear from folks who are married without kids. Pretty sure that’s very few and far between here.

My wife and I have been together 22 years, married for 13. No kids, but sometimes we dress the cats up and sing them songs.

Having access to a whole mess of nieces and nephews is awesome. So is having the flexibility to go AWOL on any given day. I just try to remember to leave a note on the kitchen counter, and get an inreach message to her on whether or not I'll be home for dinner.

 

[perma]

My wife and I have been together 22 years, married for 13. No kids, but sometimes we dress the cats up and sing them songs.

Having access to a whole mess of nieces and nephews is awesome. So is having the flexibility to go AWOL on any given day. I just try to remember to leave a note on the kitchen counter, and get an inreach message to her on whether or not I'll be home for dinner.

Strong question but any regrets on not having kids? Whether it was by choice or health circumstances? Feel free to be vague.

 

[D_Walt]

Looking at what you give up because of kids is the wrong way to look at it…it’s hard to put into words, but having a family is far more fulfilling than any hobby or possession.

This. You’ll still get plenty of hunting in, and with a little luck and if you do it right, hunting with the kids is better than you could ever imagine before kids. Definitely will be a few years that have reduced opportunity though, then it just gets better and better. And, as a bonus, you can start applying for the Colorado kids draw!

 

[Moserkr]

How much hunting did you have to give up, if any, once your kid(s) were born?

I think I gave up a weekend or two. My wife knew to not plan our wedding or our kids birthdays during hunting season. She literally said "If we try for our next kid now, it wont be born during hunting season". That kid was born in June. Now I take my oldest (6) out with me every chance I get, he loves it.

 

[Dsnow9]

I didn’t start hunting till my 20s. Had my first daughter at 30 and I’ve hunted more since she was born than I ever did before. That being said, that is really my only “me” time all year. I’m home at least 3 days a week and do a lot of the house chores as well. She likes the meat and we plan accordingly.

The biggest thing is the fact that I am present with my family up until the minute I leave and and back on full duty the second I walk in the door. Packing, unpacking, etc all take place when they are sleeping.

 

[WBouldin]

I didn’t start hunting till my 20s. Had my first daughter at 30 and I’ve hunted more since she was born than I ever did before. That being said, that is really my only “me” time all year. I’m home at least 3 days a week and do a lot of the house chores as well. She likes the meat and we plan accordingly.

The biggest thing is the fact that I am present with my family up until the minute I leave and and back on full duty the second I walk in the door. Packing, unpacking, etc all take place when they are sleeping.

This. Be present and know “your” time is when they are sleeping. That said, any marriage therapist will tell you that someone losing their identity is a collision course for marital problems. Communication and proactive planning are what get you around that. The only time I’ve come home early from hunts or other “me time” trips is because I’ve legit missed my kids and determined what I was doing without them was not better that I what I could be doing with them. That’s not a sappy story, that’s a real feeling that I can’t explain. Wild how we are wired.

 

[Deleted member 48080]

Strong question but any regrets on not having kids? Whether it was by choice or health circumstances? Feel free to be vague.

In our very specific situation, no.

 

[tkhuntsman]

How much hunting did you have to give up, if any, once your kid(s) were born?

I guided professionally for 18 years hunting and fishing. At the 10 year mark I had my first son and I tried to adjust and hang on to that lifestyle for 8 more years. In that time I had my middle daughter and went from guiding 200 days a year to about 180, and in my remaining time I was an electrical apprentice. My wife and I decided to move to MT from CO and I had my second daughter (kid #3) I have completely walked away from guiding 5 years ago. I honestly get to hunt and fish with my family about 100 days a year. I only get to do about 20 days of serious back country hunting now. The rest of the 80 days we use the camper and boat and enjoy the outdoors as a family. Best hunts and times of my life honestly.

 

[Mountain Man]

If you’re not 100% onboard with the idea of having a child, I think there is a risk you might resent the outcome related to your reduced freedom. If this comes to be the case, it will be more challenging to experience the same “joy” that people have been describing in their posts about their experiences as a parent. I would advise you to be honest with yourself and not be unduly influenced by how others have viewed their personal experiences.

I have two children and am happy with my choice. I also have a good friend who decided not to have children and he is happy with his decision. It totally depends on your personal values and I think it is okay if you decide not to have kids.

One last thing I’d like to throw out there is to think through how the decision will impact each phase of your life, not just your hunting youth. After hearing numerous from my parents how much interacting with their grandchildren has enriched their lives, it has opened up my eyes how impactful it will be if I get to experience that in my later phase of life. Deciding not to have children will totally remove that potential enrichment later in life when you’re not going to be running around the mountains anymore.

As with all big decisions, I think it’s great you are seeking input from different people’s perspectives. At the end of the day, be sure it is your decision and not something you got peer pressured into because the majority of people have kids.

 

[F250]

We chose not to have kids. Absolutely no regrets. We were honest with ourselves 30 years ago. There were goals we wanted to achieve, places to go and things we wanted. Freely admit we were/are focused on us. We have plenty of nieces and nephews to spoil… then send their azzes home !! I have mentored lots of kids deer and waterfowl hunting. Dogs and horses provided us with other types of “parenting “ challenges !!

 

[Deleted member 28227]

Together 14 years, had our first after being married 6 years. She’s 11 months.

Our situation is a bit different as I’m the primary caregiver, getting out is real tough and requires a ton of planning and coordination.

I made it out a day for turkey, couple days for grouse, 1 day for deer. This is compared to prior years were I hunted 60+ days.

I had to really think about what being a solo parent was going to be like, for me it’s worth it and wouldn’t change a thing, but it’s been a huge lifestyle shift and it can be hard because most guys can’t really relate. Some unsolicited advice for your wife, after they are sleeping 4-5 hours at a go it’s really not a big deal to have your partner gone. Having my wife go on a couple 10 day hunts per year wouldn’t be an issue at all.

 

[The Hedgehog]

My wife and I have been together 22 years, married for 13. No kids, but sometimes we dress the cats up and sing them songs.

THIS is awesome!

 

[perma]

At the end of the day, be sure it is your decision and not something you got peer pressured into because the majority of people have kids.

This forum peer pressured me into reloading so there’s that.

All kidding aside, we’re making constant conversations about this more than we have in the past. We’re asking harder questions more often which is important, just haven’t got to the point of committing to doing one thing.

 

[perma]

This. Be present and know “your” time is when they are sleeping. That said, any marriage therapist will tell you that someone losing their identity is a collision course for marital problems. Communication and proactive planning are what get you around that. The only time I’ve come home early from hunts or other “me time” trips is because I’ve legit missed my kids and determined what I was doing without them was not better that I what I could be doing with them. That’s not a sappy story, that’s a real feeling that I can’t explain. Wild how we are wired.

I could see me doing this. I left an elk hunt early to come home and be with my wife cuz I missed her. Thankfully, it was an OTC tag though.

 

[Bam Bam]

I have 2 little boys with a 3rd one on the way. I have definitely hunted less than I would have without kids. However, my wife encourages me to get out and hunt which is very supportive of her, and I content myself with being out in the field just 15-20 days each year. My children are more important than my hunting goals.


As to your brutally honest question--- I don't regret having two children, no matter what they end up costing me in terms of time, money, or lifespan. I can see myself regretting the 3rd, but time will tell. You can ask me for an update when the little rascal is about 2, and I'll try to be honest in my answer for you.

 

[Big Sky Guy]

I’d be interested to hear from folks who are married without kids. Pretty sure that’s very few and far between here.

We’re blessed to have a ton of nieces and nephews that kind of fulfill that part of kids. I have two teenage nephews that made it very clear to me that I wasn’t ready to deal with puberty. I have a niece who’s a preteen and she’s a damn pistol.

Then my wife has a niece who’s in her terrible twos. She really favors me a lot but she can be a handful. I really enjoy them all in their own ways but there’s days where I’m glad I’m just an uncle.

We will be married 9 years this summer and no kids. Neither of us feel like something is missing, still haven’t ruled it out but time is running out as my wife will be 35. It’s sort of a paradox because those with kids, seemingly can’t imagine life without them and those without kids can’t imagine life with them.

A large factor for us is being so far away from our dysfunctional/divorced families. There would be zero grandparent support, which we both had a significant amount of growing up. Further most of our friends that have marital stress stems from their children. We both work full-time, although not necessarily by financial need now. I know very few of my friends that “planned” to have kids, most just happened. No one wants to get to be 60 and regret not having kids though.

 

[The Hedgehog]

My wife and I have been together 22 years, married for 13. No kids, but sometimes we dress the cats up and sing them songs.

Having access to a whole mess of nieces and nephews is awesome. So is having the flexibility to go AWOL on any given day. I just try to remember to leave a note on the kitchen counter, and get an inreach message to her on whether or not I'll be home for dinner.

I have friends that dress up their basset hounds every year for the annual first day of school pics on Facebook to join in with the billions of other Facebook helicopter parents.