kids sneaking out

[PRO MO]

13 years old makes it a whole different ball game. Maybe try taking away the phone for a while. Can't make dumb plans if she has no device to make dumb plans on.

phone was gone after the first time. she's unbelievably resourceful though, even had friends get her burner phones just to use snapchat. it's wild how she just keeps coming up with electronics. and they just keep going into my safe, except the first one. it was smashed by her mom. man, i bet that felt good.

 

[Dubz337]

phone was gone after the first time. she's unbelievably resourceful though, even had friends get her burner phones just to use snapchat. it's wild how she just keeps coming up with electronics. and they just keep going into my safe, except the first one. it was smashed by her mom. man, i bet that felt good.

Ever thought of sending her to a program of some sort? She might hate you for it now, but will be forever grateful to you for it later.

 

[seeth07]

I'm guessing you can't do what my dad did to me the only time I snuck out and didn't return until early the next morning. He was waiting for me right as I tried to sneak back into my window and proceeded to whip my ass followed up by hog tying my hands and feet together behind my back tight with rope and I wasn't untied until supper that night.

12 hours laying on the floor hog tied was extremely painful and I was quickly whipped into shape to never attempt that again.

 

[PRO MO]

Ever thought of sending her to a program of some sort? She might hate you for it now, but will be forever grateful to you for it later.

we're trying to figure that out, all options are on the table at this point, even in-patient therapy, but hoping her counselor can make headway before having to go to the next steps. Her grandpa offered to pay for boarding school so that's on the table.

 

[PRO MO]

I'm guessing you can't do what my dad did to me the only time I snuck out and didn't return until early the next morning. He was waiting for me right as I tried to sneak back into my window and proceeded to whip my ass followed up by hog tying my hands and feet together behind my back tight with rope and I wasn't untied until supper that night.

12 hours laying on the floor hog tied was extremely painful and I was quickly whipped into shape to never attempt that again.

haha. the good ol days. Soft world we're in now, don't think that flies anymore.

 

[Dubz337]

we're trying to figure that out, all options are on the table at this point, even in-patient therapy, but hoping her counselor can make headway before having to go to the next steps. Her grandpa offered to pay for boarding school so that's on the table.

Do you think a 'scared straight' type of excursion might work?

Big 300lb tattooed lady with a buzzcut named Bertha screaming about what happens inside the can may get through when parental advice doesn't.

 

[noharleyyet]

Good luck Pro Mo...they, boys and girls, sure don't come with instructions, but it passes. I recall lecturing mine all the while knowing what a hypocrite I was and still can be.

 

[CPAjeff]

Invite all the "boys" over for pizza and a movie - this will mortify the teenager trying to sneak out. While the boys are chowing down on pizza, toss them each a loaded rifle shell - your choice of caliber - tell them the next bullet will come a lot faster their direction if you ever catch them spending time with your teenager after curfew.

Open communication, clear expectations, undeviating consequences, and a healthy dose of remembering what it was like to be a teenager goes a long ways!

 

[PRO MO]

so anyways, sorry for the sob story to get back on track - ways to keep her from sneaking out. anyone have better ideas than boarding the windows shut and getting either a door alarm, or a booby trap down to hall to alert the dogs? The old lab is a good guard dog, but she's getting to be a little bit of a heavy sleeper.

 

[PRO MO]

Invite all the "boys" over for pizza and a movie - this will mortify the teenager trying to sneak out. While the boys are chowing down on pizza, toss them each a loaded rifle shell - your choice of caliber - tell them the next bullet will come a lot faster their direction if you ever catch them spending time with your teenager after curfew.

Open communication, clear expectations, undeviating consequences, and a healthy dose of remembering what it was like to be a teenager goes a long ways!

justified style. i'm trying not to blame the boys, as she's lying to them about her age, and is the one provoking the sneaking out.

 

[Deez Nutz]

Invite all the "boys" over for pizza and a movie - this will mortify the teenager trying to sneak out. While the boys are chowing down on pizza, toss them each a loaded rifle shell - your choice of caliber - tell them the next bullet will come a lot faster their direction if you ever catch them spending time with your teenager after curfew.

Open communication, clear expectations, undeviating consequences, and a healthy dose of remembering what it was like to be a teenager goes a long ways!

Probly aught not make statements like that unless you plan on following through, which I hope you wouldn't.

 

[shelbycoltd]

I was a pretty big dumbass as a kid.
unfortunately, I think you just have to let it burn itself out.
maybe give her more attention and show her some of Cameron Hanes videos for motivation.
or try to get her involved in something that she's good at and receives attention for that will lead her away from this general thotish behavior.
maybe some type of action sport that gives her the adrenaline rush of doing something bad and feeling like an adult, but without the negative consequences.
climbing, mtb, shooting, skiing BASE jumping, dirt bikes, snowmobiles.

 

[shelbycoltd]

I'm guessing you can't do what my dad did to me the only time I snuck out and didn't return until early the next morning. He was waiting for me right as I tried to sneak back into my window and proceeded to whip my ass followed up by hog tying my hands and feet together behind my back tight with rope and I wasn't untied until supper that night.

12 hours laying on the floor hog tied was extremely painful and I was quickly whipped into shape to never attempt that again.

gawd dayum.
that's an ass whoopin.

 

[Nick87]

so anyways, sorry for the sob story to get back on track - ways to keep her from sneaking out. anyone have better ideas than boarding the windows shut and getting either a door alarm, or a booby trap down to hall to alert the dogs? The old lab is a good guard dog, but she's getting to be a little bit of a heavy sleeper.

In all seriousness most home alarm systems can be setup however you like. Window or door sensors or hall sensors whatever. Buddy of mine used to work at adt. That stuff was more affordable than I would've imagined.

 

[thomas89]

I am dreading the day my kids no doubt begin testing these boundaries. We all did. Probably terrifying for Dads everywhere. Zero judgement, but 13, that's a heck of a lot closer than I was hoping for these shenanigans to start.

I have always heard make your home as fun and enjoyable so the kids want to be around, even their friends. Don't know what typical week nights look like around your place, I know for sure the wife and I need to step up being present AND active with our girls.

Good luck man. Crummy feeling I'm sure.

 

[SD_Prairie_Goat]

so anyways, sorry for the sob story to get back on track - ways to keep her from sneaking out. anyone have better ideas than boarding the windows shut and getting either a door alarm, or a booby trap down to hall to alert the dogs? The old lab is a good guard dog, but she's getting to be a little bit of a heavy sleeper.

Thought about a ring camera on the doors? They can notify you coming or going.

As for the window, paint it shut? Nail it shut, etc?


Sorry you're dealing it with it man. I don't have kids so my advice is simple, lean on the professionals if you feel out of options. Head docs focused on teens might have decent ideas? Just a thought

 

[Flatbrimmer]

in all seriousness, we have tried to be patient with her and we let her get away with a lot, but the sneaking out (and lying and everything else) has crossed a line. she snuck out of a friends house and did not come home the next day until after noon when all the parents were scrambling to find them. Her mom was completely at a loss after that episode, which also included vaping and weed. It embarrassing to say, but she's only 13 years old. She's been at her grandma's house for the last 2 weeks, but is ready to come home. I'm at the point that i don't trust anything she says or does, but i want her back home. but i cannot handle more sneaking out, so i'm thinking of getting locks for the windows, and finding some sort of alarm to rig up for her door at night. of course, that would get triggered anytime she needs to get water, or use the bathroom so i'm up for ideas??
We've also discussed IUD but she has promised its not at that point, and i leave that up to her mom to make those decisions.

The IUD can cause some crazy ass hormonal episodes, as can most other contraceptives I guess. So far the pill really has been the most tolerable from my experience. I do agree it’s crossing a line and I dread the day my kids get there.. however, from someone who was quite rebellious, growing up 20 miles east of Oakland and started going drugs and drinking at a young age I can tell you the number one thing that kept me safe in those years was my fathers lessons. I ain’t talking weed either dude there’s far worse to be worried about. Speak the truth with them and share your concerns. Every kid will get to an age where they might joyride moms car at midnight or go steal from the gas station or smoke a little herb, but some of those kids get into car accidents or shot by the gas station attendant or their weed is laced with harmful stuff. Doing hoodrat shit with your friends with innocent intentions can still lead to tragic consequences… shit happens. You just want them to be safe. The concern shows you care, I trust you’re raising a fine daughter that’ll completely understand in just a few short years. Cheers

 

[88man]

I feel for ya. I hope and pray things improve. Some thoughts>
> You need to play the parent role
> Need to show how much you LOVE her> Even look in the mirror together> do you see what each other sees?
> Show her even more how much you LOVE her
> Show/explain/present what is allowed in your house and what is not
> Seek help, church, family & professional advise together
> Be respectful and demand/expect respect> Be kind and expect kindness
> Be clear about boundaries and enforcement of boundaries
> Do what you say your going to do
> Hear her thought & problems & issues and wants
> Communicate more than ever
> Spend time together
> Add structure to family life
> Be a loving caring strong Father

 

[manitou1]

If she is meeting boys and they are driving I would have a firm conversation with their parents also.

I have a buddy whose 13 y.o. Was doing the same. She is in a "home" for shock treatment at this time and is slowly coming around.

I don't envy you and am glad ours are grown now. It is a tough call and many solutions can backkfire and some can work.

Bringing them up fully involved in a church with a good youth program seems to stay off most of this where we are but isn't 100%... but you may be beyond that.

 

[ismith]

i have a teenager hell bent on sneaking out of the house to go hang out with boys. does anyone have advice on how to prevent this? i'm having trouble finding good window locks or reliable door alarms that would work for what we have. i'm considering razor wire, but that seems like it might harm our pets, or wildlife. I'm also told i cannot use a straight jacket, yet.

Just watched a short film on YouTube about this very topic………