VAspeedgoat
Well-known member
Big Fins techniques also work on diaper changing as well, eventually they will all say "just get out of the way I'll do it" if you make a big enough mess. Well stated Big Fin!
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Dang, I've got nothing to add to the list of talents provided herein. Bullshitting is probably my "default" skill when all else seems to fail.
My tools consist of a screwdriver, a channel lock, and a hammer. If it can't be fixed with those tools, it is broken beyond what I have patience to fix. Call someone.
I come from a family of very talented machinist, mechanics, and craftsmen. I completely reject that role as a husband or father, as it imposes heavily on the more important "family times" spent hunting and fishing. If God meant for me to be handy or to mow lawns, he would not have invented the Yellow Pages.
I feel completely smug when I drive to the lake or to the trailhead and see some guy mowing a lawn, repairing a roof, or some other domestic chore imposed upon him as a result of proclaiming how "handy" he is. Dumb ass. If you want to hunt and fish, you never tell anyone of your "handiness;" not your wife, your mom, your neighbor. To get enough hunting and fishing in the busy life of today's world, you need to feign complete incompetence when it comes to such things. And, that time at the lake or in camp is the real "family time" we are all seeking.
When asked to work on a "honey-do," immediately start cussing. Act like it's the end of the world. When pressed to the point that you have no choice, make a lot of noise. Cut the back of your hand on a sharp edge. Bleeds like hell and the person imposing this task on you will have to look at it every day. Break a few things. Stomp out the door stating you have to go to town to get some more parts. Use it as a trip to DQ. Make sure you buy your tools and parts at a farm and ranch store that sells ammo. Buying ammo at this time is a good way to float it under the radar and not get in too much trouble.
Come home smiling like you are now Bob Villa and ready to tackle the project. Bang around a bit, cuss a bit more, and then wrap it up in a manner that leaves a few parts still in your pocket. Bring her in for the big test run. It will not work any better than when the imposition was made on your family time (hunting/fishing time), but now you can say you tried. After a few bouts of this, such impositions will no longer be made on your "family time" and you will get to laugh at others on your way to the lake or to the trailhead.
I've been in a few serious jams where I had to employ my handiness, but I swore camera guys to secrecy. My brother has seen me work through problems in a moment of extreme mechanical need, but he knows if he tells my wife I am able to fix things, he will be on my short list.
A man should take pride in the fact that his wife is a better mechanic and carpenter than he is. It shows you have not allowed "details" too impose on your family time at the lake or in deer camp. A true family man has such priorities. Hopefully she owns more tools than you. Some women do actually like to fix things, which is why they marry men who are good at breaking things. Mostly they want you to be a good "family man," which requires a lot of "family time."
I can trap critters pretty good. Give me a sharp knife and a cutting table and I will have your fish or game into fine edible portions, in short order. My best skill has been BSing a marvelous woman that she is well served by staying married to me in spite of my many faults and few talents. By far my greatest skill of adulthood.
My tools consist of a screwdriver, a channel lock, and a hammer. If it can't be fixed with those tools, it is broken beyond what I have patience to fix. Call someone.
Alright wise guy,
Tell me how to learn my wife that I've forgotten all those domestic duties??? I've already showed that I can do most anything....How do I UN-show that?
You're screwed.
I disagree, i think Big Fin is a very unwise man, doesn't his wife read this forum?Big Fin- That is pure inspiration. I fully plan on changing how I deal with my domestic duties. You, sir, are a very wise man.
I'm not good at anything, but just barely adequate at everything. It's the worst of both worlds.
For example, I'm good enough at cutting down trees to tackle the job myself. I'm just poor enough at cutting down trees to make one fall on the north side of my house.
I'm just good enough at replacing shingles, soffit, fascia, windows, and siding to tackle a repair job myself, but just poor enough at it so that it drags out for two full weekends during prime ice fishing time. I think you can see the pattern here.....
I'm not good at anything, but just barely adequate at everything. It's the worst of both worlds.
For example, I'm good enough at cutting down trees to tackle the job myself. I'm just poor enough at cutting down trees to make one fall on the north side of my house.
I'm just good enough at replacing shingles, soffit, fascia, windows, and siding to tackle a repair job myself, but just poor enough at it so that it drags out for two full weekends during prime ice fishing time. I think you can see the pattern here.....
That's good stuff right there, Randy! You are spot on about the chainsaw. It is nothing but trouble.
In fact, 3 weekends ago on a beautiful sunny Saturday, with weather perfect for almost any outdoor activity, I was stuck using the same offending chainsaw to cut 62 wood slices for centerpieces for my upcoming wedding, as requested by my lovely (in case she is reading this) fiancé. Of course, once the slices were cut they needed to have a finish brushed on both sides. Before I knew it the beautiful day was over with no fish caught or shots fired. It was depressing.
Please do dedicate a podcast to spreading this sort of wisdom to us folks who don't know what we are getting ourselves into. Make it quick, too! My time is limited before the big day! I'll have plenty of time to listen to it when I'm mowing the lawn and trimming with the new weed whip I just bought
Show me a man with a c̶h̶a̶i̶n̶s̶a̶w̶ wife and I'll show you a guy who doesn't get to fish and hunt as much as he otherwise would.
I curse exquisitely, IMHO. quote Ben Long