Funny texts from family

[Butcher]

I got this dandy today from my nieces boyfriend. Needless to say I need to have a serious discussion with her. Anyone else have messages like this?! Post it if you can

 

[Wild Bill]

 

[SaskHunter]

My sister's husband video chatted me to help him finish gutting a doe.

He had shoved a Butt-Out tool up that poor doe's vag. Not even joking. I had to walk him through the whole thing but he was so confused my sister had to come help take over for him. I walked her through the whole process, she did it like a pro!

I've wondered how he managed to have two kids ever since. Or maybe he didn't mean to have them?!

 

[Straight Arrow]

I've wondered how he managed to have two kids ever since. Or maybe he didn't mean to have them?!

Actually your sister conceived and birthed them. BIL may have been oblivious, perhaps a sleeping sire.

 

[JLDemo]

Many years ago in my younger years, I was kinda seeing a gal named Jess. My sister in laws name is Jess. After a night out with the boys I decided I was going convince the gal I was seeing at the time to come over with a series of photos, pick up lines, and so on.

Well, the alcohol did its thing and was communicating with my sister in law the entire time. The entire evening my brother and his wife (Jess), were playing along with my bull crap and kept it going as long as they could. My brother finally called me and couldn't hardly get a word out because he was crying and laughing, then and only then he spilled the beans. To this day they love that story.

I was mortified.

 

[Deez Nutz]

When I was in college one of my buddies was talking to this girl he had the hots for. Well one of my other buddies got ahold of his phone and changed his contact info to her name so he was playing along like he was the gal my other buddy was talking to. It went on for a few days and some juicy messages before he finally found out. It was hilarious to say the least as they would both consult us as to what to say to the other. Not sure what ever happened to the actual girl.

 

[Gellar]

Some of the text messages my father in law sends me would make greenhorn blush.

 

[SaskHunter]

Actually your sister conceived and birthed them. BIL may have been oblivious, perhaps a sleeping sire.

Gross.

 

[Birdbander]

My Mom sent me a text a couple of years ago asking if I would let my sister and BIL have some of the grouse breasts from my freezer.
My sister has been a burden on society her entire life, married a guy worse than herself. These are true living off the system, lost their kids due to abuse, spent time in prison burdens. Haven't said so much as hello to her in years.

I called Mom and in the most polite way possible, without a single curse word which says a lot for me, explained to her why I wouldn't give my sister or BIL not just grouse breasts but a cup.of warm piss to quench their thirst.

I don't blame Mom.

No issues since.

 

[Nick87]

Or maybe he didn't mean to have them?!

Took me a sec. That is funny.

 

[Nick87]

Anyone else have messages like this?

No, thank God. Lol

 

[Ought Six]

When I was in college one of my buddies was talking to this girl he had the hots for. Well one of my other buddies got ahold of his phone and changed his contact info to her name so he was playing along like he was the gal my other buddy was talking to. It went on for a few days and some juicy messages before he finally found out. It was hilarious to say the least as they would both consult us as to what to say to the other. Not sure what ever happened to the actual girl.

This was a common prank we’d play on people too, do I know you?? Haha

 

[Ought Six]

This thread reminds me of this meme:

 

[vvsees]

I got this dandy today from my nieces boyfriend. Needless to say I need to have a serious discussion with her. Anyone else have messages like this?! Post it if you can

Lmao I can relate

 

[Butcher]

I don’t mind helping newbies, its the “veteran hunters” which happen to all be in-laws that drive me mad. It’ll be a week before season starts and they’ll be texting me to go scout with them or hang a stand or even can you sight my gun in?! I showed them a spot on public that is amazing and they have absolutely burned the area. I learned my lesson and stay occupied or negligent of texts and calls during that time lol.
Anyway its almost Christmas! Lol

 

[VikingsGuy]

My sister's husband video chatted me to help him finish gutting a doe.

He had shoved a Butt-Out tool up that poor doe's vag. Not even joking. I had to walk him through the whole thing but he was so confused my sister had to come help take over for him. I walked her through the whole process, she did it like a pro!

I've wondered how he managed to have two kids ever since. Or maybe he didn't mean to have them?!

There are so many wonderful ways this post can play out, but for the moment, out of respect for Mrs. BigFin I will keep my powder dry.

 

[VikingsGuy]

True story from an earlier thread with a similar topic -- still makes me smile . . . .

I am taking my 80yo mother to a somewhat routine outpatient surgery. My sister asked that I let her know when she was out of the procedure. All goes well, and while waiting for them to get ready to discharge her I text my sister that, "Mom is done". 30 seconds later my phone rings - it is my sister. I answer and get hit with, "you *sshole, how could you text something like that instead of calling?" Turns out I had not noticed that a typo in "done" resulted in the iPhone inserting "dead". The final text was, "Mom is dead".

 

[Ought Six]

Here’s a not so funny one asking my brother to help me pack an elk out, 3.1 miles in one way, 2nd elk of the year he said no to helping on long night solo:

 

[Doublecluck]

Group text myself my daughter and her boyfriend regarding taking my 7mm to go kill a deer.

 

[Ought Six]

Group text myself my daughter and her boyfriend regarding taking my 7mm to go kill a deer.

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If you gotta call wind it’s either too windy or too far of a shot lol