Nut
New member
1. What's the definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.
2. Define Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary!
3. What's the difference between the Pope and your boss? The Pope only >expects you to kiss his ring.
4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.
5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once and the seat folded up.
7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
8. A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.
9. My next house will have no kitchen --- just vending machines.
10. The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you end up at work.
11. Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five- year-old can do it.
12. A blonde told her friend, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid."
13. Why is a government worker like a shotgun with a broken firing pin? It won't work and you can't fire it.
2. Define Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary!
3. What's the difference between the Pope and your boss? The Pope only >expects you to kiss his ring.
4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.
5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once and the seat folded up.
7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
8. A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.
9. My next house will have no kitchen --- just vending machines.
10. The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you end up at work.
11. Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five- year-old can do it.
12. A blonde told her friend, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid."
13. Why is a government worker like a shotgun with a broken firing pin? It won't work and you can't fire it.
