Every state as a guy in a bar

[Apparition]

"Pennsylvania is a cheery, pretty brunette girl with blue eyes, dressed fairly preppy. She's drinking Yuengling and making out with a handful of other states"

Pennsylvania is a cheery, FAT brunette girl with blue eyes, dressed fairly preppy. She's drinking Yuengling and making out with a handful of other states.

Fixed Pennsylvania.

 

[deer_shooter]

....

 

[deer_shooter]

....

 

[schmalts]

I thought of Cushman when i read Colorado.... fits him perfectly

 

[commandoNate]

The Colorado makes me laugh. Definitely that Boulder stereotype. (or replace with any fancy schmnacy mountain town like Aspen, Telluride, ...) Good thing there are so many of this type in Colorado. They hire guys like me to work on their expensive homes and properties. Affording me the means to spend a bunch of time out in the woods doing what I love to do.

 

[MT Bound]

That is hilarious, thanks for sharing. I'd have to revise the Massachusetts one though, it would read...."the metro-sexual white guy who just got a manicure, and can't stop talking about his stock options, how much money he made last year, and his new car that he's going to drive to the Patriots/Red sox/Bruins (insert favorite Boston sports team here) game. While he fights traffic all the way to Beantown, weaving in and out of traffic and flipping everybody off and cursing at them."

Yah, I've lived here too long and can't wait to leave......

 

[TripleJ]

If western Montana is a dude who reeks of weed, then someone needs to spend more time in Washington (east or west).

And Oregon, at least the western part/I-5 corridor. These were pretty funny, but you were pretty nice to Oregon considering all the fruit cakes we have living here.

 

[PAhunter]

Eastern Montana is extolling the virtues of the local craft brew he's drinking to any other state who will listen, but he's hidden the can and won't name the brewery. When other states ask the bartender what Eastern Montana is drinking, the bartender admits that he must ask Eastern Montana's permission before divulging where the beer came from.

Meanwhile Western Montana is drinking the same brew while live streaming on FB.

 

[Little Big Man MT Chris]

Only half of Oregon is Hipsters!!! And most of those are in the Portland Metro area , and Eugene , which is Berkeley Ca North , the rest is just laid back dudes like me P.S. "why did the HIPSTER drowned in the lake ? He tried ice skating before it was cool ! "

Ya and thats a dark micro brew called a " Black Butte Porter " cheers

 

[CodyCass]

Missouri isn't too far off. There would definitely be arguing. But it would be 3 guys arguing (all with different accents) on the correct pronunciation of Missouri. The hipster from St. Louis would say "Missour-ee". The country boy would say "Missou-rah". And the smart ass would say we live in "misery"

 

[Big Slick]

I figured Cali would be a hipster vegan drinking a gluten free pale ale.

 

[Schaaf]

Eastern Montana is extolling the virtues of the local craft brew he's drinking to any other state who will listen, but he's hidden the can and won't name the brewery. When other states ask the bartender what Eastern Montana is drinking, the bartender admits that he must ask Eastern Montana's permission before divulging where the beer came from.

Meanwhile Western Montana is drinking the same brew while live streaming on FB.

Haha, very clever.

 

[OriginalOscar]

Wyoming refuses to sit next to other men because Brokeback Mountain never really happened.

Idaho drinks heavily hoping they forget their Utah roots.

New Mexico just got his Ancestry DNA results and finally understands his unique love of Peyote and Sherry.

 

[dcopas78]

Ohio is pretty accurate, but I would classify into two groups. The description perfectly fits most of the state, but if you drew a diagonal line from Cincinnati to Zanesville everybody south of the line would be of a whole different sort. That is Appalachia territory.

 

[FeartheTurtle]

Brimley was Utah born and raised. Passed away not too long ago. Great actor but not many people know that he was a pretty good musician as well. One of his sons is my neighbor and an excellent guitarist and singer.

 

[OntarioHunter]

Where did you find a "pale" black gal in Wahington?

 

[Deleted member 28227]

CO, VT, MA, MT

 

[geetar]

Utah needs an edit. Should say supposed to be the designated driver, but instead is under the bar drinking straight from the tap.

What the rest of the mormon congregation can’t see won’t hurt anyone right?

 

[SaskHunter]

Saskatchewan: guy named Mike or Steve, wears Saskatchewan Roughriders t-shirt with old fadded jean or leather jacket. Has a greasy ballcap and is missing some theeth. Alternates between sitting at the bar and the VLTs. Drinks rhum and cokes, and draught Coors Light. Most definitely drives his beat up Ford Ranger or F150 home drunk every night. Is well known by local police detachment.

 

[Nick87]

Saskatchewan: guy named Mike or Steve, wears Saskatchewan Roughriders t-shirt with old fadded jean or leather jacket. Has a greasy ballcap and is missing some theeth. Alternates between sitting at the bar and the VLTs. Drinks rhum and cokes, and draught Coors Light. Most definitely drives his beat up Ford Ranger or F150 home drunk every night. Is well known by local police detachment.

Saskatchewan dont sound all bad other than the ford deal.