Colonoscopy jokes - The jokes are on me.

[nwihunter]

Nobody has mentioned it yet but for me the hardest part was going that long with no food. Plus my appointment was time was pushed back 4 hours

 

[Hem]

Nobody has mentioned it yet but for me the hardest part was going that long with no food. Plus my appointment was time was pushed back 4 hours

Agreed.
36 hours without food, and the day before procedure working construction...sucks, especially outside during winter.
The nurses all nod approval when I show up with a lunch bag for wake up time.

 

[antlerradar]

When you live two and a half hours form the hospital, you need to stay in a motel the night before because no one wants to be driving down the interstate when the urge to surge right now hits. Make sure you take some soft TP. That motel TP is ok if you only need it once or twice, any more than that gets a bit abrasive on a sensitive spot.

 

[SAJ-99]

Had one a few years back, was no big deal.

The funny part was when I woke up, first, and only time I've been put under.

I was laughing and the nurse asked me what was so funny while I was blankly staring at the TV, "the former president being on TV isn't that funny, what are you laughing about?"

I muttered, "I don't remember shit"...which was ironic, considering the prep.

I did mine a couple of years ago. People should know that most of talking is done with the anesthesiologist and there is about 2 mins where you are conscious and talking but have zero control over anything you say and won’t remember any of it after you wake up. I recommend to people trying to clear your mind of everything and pray the anesthesiologist or anyone else you saw in the few minutes before the gas hits isn’t “unique” in any way.

I knew the Dr and anesthesiologist so heard about it afterward. Apparently I asked my anesthesiologist where she went to college.

 

[Farmerj]

My anesthesiologist…
“Count backwards from 10….”


Me…
“10, ni…..”


Looking at the wife 35 minutes later…

“Hey babe… when did you get here….”

 

[elkduds]

What is the clinical name for the headlamps worn during proctoloist exams?
Butt Light!

 

[EYJONAS!]

 

[Wildabeest]

 

[Sandman]

Well,,,,,
The worst part is not the runny squirts for half a day, the awful tasting prep, or the fog after.

The worst part is waking up in the middle of the procedure and seeing the inside of your ass on the large screen TV on the wall. Then feeling this thing poking around in your gut that you can see from the outside and thinking you got transported to a new filming of the Alien. Then the doctor looks at you and says "hey he's awake" and the anithesiologist (sp?) hits a button and you're out again in a few seconds.

Been there, done that.

Sandman

 

[MarvB]

Got mine coming up the first of September…let’s hope for lucky #3.
At 50 the doc said I was a perfect A-hole but 60 they burned a few polyps so I’m on the 3 year cycle until clear.

 

[grizzly_]

I hunted deer in January in NW New Mexico with a guy that was doing the prep. It was -10F and he'd have to run into the scrub and sage brush a few times an hour with his wet wipes.

Tough old bugger to go hunting on a day like that.

 

[44hunter45]

FWIW - Got the all clear letter yesterday.

 

[RealMuddyboots]

I am in 3 year schedule due to mom, dad, brother and aunt all dying from colon cancer. Sounds weird but I look forward to hearing Doc saying "all clear". Trepidation waiting to hear results wears on you.

Last year, I am on table, so called out but I wasn't all the way. I could hear EVERYTHING that was being said. Told Doc and he said IMPOSSIBLE. Then I told him what he said to nurse about a new restaurant and he had that "deer in headlights" look! Conversation was all normal can you imagine if he was hitting on her? I bet he went straight to anesthesiologist with WTH!

 

[HSi-ESi]

Had my first go round with this yesterday. The prep was the more inconvenient part of the whole procedure - but it wasn't too big of a deal. Looking forward to getting the guts back to normal. It is definitely better than having any cancer issues down the road. Part of life as we get older - and I definitely want to chase my kids around the mountains as long as I can.

 

[Farmerj]

Eat good quality yogurt to get the good bacteria back into your gut.

 

[Beaneater]

worst one I ever heard was "look no hands"

 

[Farmerj]

worst one I ever heard was "look no hands"

Imagine the ones who feel that joke.

 

[Gr8bawana]

 

[Marshian]

As a practicing anesthesiologist who coincidentally just did three days in a row of egd’s and colonoscopies, Ill give some insight on the sedation. First off, there may or may not be an a dedicated anesthesia provider involved. If the patient is healthy and straightforward, many times the GI doctor will just tell the nurses to administer sedation. If any anesthesia professional is involved, we can be much more heavy handed because we have access to better drugs (propofol) and we are aren’t trying to sedate and scope simultaneously. For both procedures, the goal is usually just comfort as opposed to complete unconsciousness which is what separates sedation from true general anesthesia. Usually patients don’t remember anything either way but technically, if you remember bits and prices of your colonoscopy, as long as you were comfortable, that’s the goal. Despite the jokes and hoopla, it takes way more anesthesia to overcome the gag reflex versus the anal tone one so usually egd’s get even more. But at the end of the day, these screening exams are super important so any inconvenience is worth it versus the alternative. If anyone has questions about the anesthesia side, feel free to pm me. I realize my field is a bit of the great unknown to most people and there is likely a good amount of understandable apprehension involved.

 

[44hunter45]

As a practicing anesthesiologist who coincidentally just did three days in a row of egd’s and colonoscopies, Ill give some insight on the sedation. First off, there may or may not be an a dedicated anesthesia provider involved. If the patient is healthy and straightforward, many times the GI doctor will just tell the nurses to administer sedation. If any anesthesia professional is involved, we can be much more heavy handed because we have access to better drugs (propofol) and we are aren’t trying to sedate and scope simultaneously. For both procedures, the goal is usually just comfort as opposed to complete unconsciousness which is what separates sedation from true general anesthesia. Usually patients don’t remember anything either way but technically, if you remember bits and prices of your colonoscopy, as long as you were comfortable, that’s the goal. Despite the jokes and hoopla, it takes way more anesthesia to overcome the gag reflex versus the anal tone one so usually egd’s get even more. But at the end of the day, these screening exams are super important so any inconvenience is worth it versus the alternative. If anyone has questions about the anesthesia side, feel free to pm me. I realize my field is a bit of the great unknown to most people and there is likely a good amount of understandable apprehension involved.

Propofol is sweet stuff. Just like a nice nap! I've since had another surgery, my second experience with it.