Best “ALMOST GOT HIM” one liners

[gouch]

Sun was in my scope
I don't think there is any shot in these shells
Those quail must have Kevlar feathers. (I'll swear they did that one day)

 

[gouch]

I almost killed the biggest buck I have seen in years, yesterday morning.

But my brake pads were in to go of condition. I came really close though.

 

[338win]

Can’t believe, “I was hungover, had a headache and couldn’t get a solid rest over the side mirror” hasn’t been used yet.

One of the reservation elk hunts resembles that statement. Truck, rum, coors light and rifles

 

[blackbeard]

In my wifes case...her a$$h0le husband(me) shot it before she got the chance.

 

[Khunter]

I had just shanked my tent, then out he walks up on the ridge in plain view. But I had to head home because I had no shelter.

 

[Hem]

Directed to myself..." You stupid, little monkey" .
Have to include a Latin accent to make it sting.