Bad cooks in the family?

[Nick87]

Mom has a small turkey for lunch tomorrow. I wasn't allowed to brine it. Trying to find a way to get flavor into this thing without getting drunk and doing it when she's not looking

Sneak in the middle of the night and inject it lol.

 

[Scott85]

My FIL will boil shrimp for 30 minutes.

 

[Steelsearchin]

Mom: miracle whip, all meat MUST be well done in fact cook it dry, grey meat crockpot cooking with mushy carrots, simultaneously under and overcooked a turkey, no chicken not even soup form, puts knives and non-stick in dishwasher, salt is spicy

Dad (posthumously): crumbled chips on questionable casserole like item...

For a second I thought I married your sister, but my FIL is still alive. Unfortunately the poor guy couldn't boil water if his life depended on it!

 

[np307]

In true southern fashion, everyone in my family either knows how to cook or knows to stay out of the kitchen. There is a portion of my wife's family though that puts sugar in places it doesn't belong, like grits or green beans.

 

[220yotekiller]

my mom's mom is awful, her goulash consisted of plain noodles and a can of tomatoes, no salt. she burns every pie that she even looks at.

 

[WildWill]

Corned beef hash gets cooked until its crispy

You lost me here. That's how hash is best with a couple over easy eggs on top. But anyway more about these tiddies.

 

[gouch]

My little sister would take a nice 12" rainbow trout, put it in a toaster oven and cook it at 350° for an hour and a half. She wanted to make sure all the germs were dead. I don't think she flashed her tiddies to anybody, ever.

 

[Nick87]

My little sister would take a nice 12" rainbow trout, put it in a toaster oven and cook it at 350° for an hour and a half. She wanted to make sure all the germs were dead. I don't think she flashed her tiddies to anybody, ever.

Wth lmao.

 

[FREAK]

I just have this one aunt who makes lasagna any time there's more than three relatives within a 5 mile radius of her kitchen. She's done it so long that time and lack of protest have convinced her she's the custodian of a precious family tradition. Too bad she never learned how to actually make the stuff.

That’s a freaking classic right there

 

[gouch]

Wth lmao.

She cooked all her food in that toaster oven and could tell when it was done by the amount of smoke. To be clear, my sister had been diagnosed with more than one mental disorder, so we just accepted her as she was, and she never cooked for anyone but herself.

 

[Nick87]

She cooked all her food in that toaster oven and could tell when it was done by the amount of smoke. To be clear, my sister had been diagnosed with more than one mental disorder, so we just accepted her as she was, and she never cooked for anyone but herself.

That makes more sense now. Sorry.

 

[D_Walt]

My mom can cook, but at Thanksgiving and Christmas she is usually too busy yelling at the football game to remember everything. We had Christmas dinner with my side of the family tonight at the end of the Cowboys game. Game ended, time to eat. Bacon wrapped elk steak bites, mashed potatoes, ham, deep fried turkey, tamales, quail, assorted other goodies. “Where’s the gravy?” Mom’s reply, “I was getting ready to make it early and Dak threw a pick 6!, then I forgot”. Good thing they won or Dak could have ruined Christmas Eve dinner.

 

[BackofBeyond]

Nobody tell her I said this, but my wife is a horrible cook. She absolutely has to have a recipe, but will substitute ingredients for stuff she doesn’t have. Like cummin when the recipe calls for coriander “because it’s close.” Also insists on cooking all meat to hockey puck status.

There’s definitely a reason I do the majority of the cooking.

 

[MarvB]

My wife is an immaculate house keeper amongst a hundred other equally great traits. She doesn’t cook well and doesn’t try to fake it, I do 90% of the cooking, the other 10% she excels at making reservations!
It’s a win-win and we are both equally happy with that arrangement.

Now the Ex? Couldn’t boil water and would glare at you while you choked down every drop. Almost seemed to judge success based off your gag reflex! Her mom equally bad and equally ornery…Gave Hell’s Kitchen a whole new meaning!

 

[gouch]

My wife almost never cooks but she does have a signature dish. She will on occasion make enchiladas. She serves it with rice and refried beans. Some time during the day she will boil chicken breast for a couple of hours then shred them an put it in the refrigerator. When it comes time to start dinner, she puts the rice on then starts prepping the enchiladas, stopping occasionally to stir the rice. One time I told her that if she started the rice at the same time, she put the enchiladas in to cook that they would both get done at the same time. She started and ended that conversation with "THE LOOK" The same look I got when I told her she shouldn't stir the rice. She puts the enchiladas in the oven and cooks them until the cheese on top is melted. But because the chicken came out of the fridge, it is usually still cold in the center. She then throws a can of beans in the microwave and dinner is served. I might complain but hey, it's one night I don't have to cook and besides after 45 years I have been well trained not to complain.

In all fairness she does bake cookies, pies and cakes, and does a pretty damn good job of that.

 

[Akcabin]

We have been blessed by good cooks n great food. Our kids homeschooled and learned to embrace cooking. They love it and are good at it.
Blessed to live where I do. Have access to great hormone n steroid free meat n seafood. What we don't harvest we have been able to barter for. We raise meat rabbits and barter them. Yeah life is great here.

 

[TheTone]

I’m kinda excited to see just how dry this years turkey can be. The cook(not willing to name names) really loves this electric turkey roaster and basically just starts it in the morning and never goes back to it until later in the day. Also last year same person decided a shrimp cocktail was done with marinara sauce, not cocktail sauce. It was a bit weird. Took almost a year for the person to admit it wasn’t right

 

[MarvB]

My mother in law does that and I'll shoot her where she stands.

+1…and there’d be no one left with an appetite to even worry about dinner!
Some things you just can’t unsee

 

[MarvB]

Also had an aunt (God rest her soul, and praying for the angels that she doesn’t have to cook up there) that we’d go over to for thanksgiving every couple of years. She’d always grill the family about “how many of you are coming for dinner?” With the premise she needed the number to buy an appropriately sized bird!

Problem is it didn’t matter if it ended up being a Cornish game hen or a Tundra swan, she always put it in the oven the same time and dinner was always served at the same time

You didn’t know if you needed to pour on gravy to rehydrate or if you were gonna be treated to med rare breast meat! To compound the problem she always made her “secret stuffing” to jam into every orfice. I believe the “secret” was typically salmonella judging by later in the evening!

 

[Nick87]

+1…and there’d be no one left with an appetite to even worry about dinner!
Some things you just can’t unsee

We're doing Christmas with them tomorrow now I got that to think about all day....