antelopedundee
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A little humour for your day
- Thread starter Tradewind
- Start date
antelopedundee
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Bigjay73
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They need an emoji representing this pic, to use for posts like yours
noharleyyet
Well-known member
noharleyyet
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Daylight saving time in Texas...
noharleyyet
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noharleyyet
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Looks like Bill Burr
Bigjay73
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Wllm
Keep on
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- Nov 9, 2021
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- 1,418
ignorethefringes
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- Joined
- Sep 19, 2016
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- 3,034
...the bald Ginga!
noharleyyet
Well-known member
Fake news...
antelopedundee
Well-known member
Compliments of Joe from Up Nort.
1) I’ve just finished reading a book about the world’s greatest basement ….. It was a best cellar.
2) It’s my first week working at the bicycle factory and they already made me a spokesperson.
3) My laptop caught pneumonia, apparently, because I left Windows open.
4) I thought swimming with Dolphins was expensive until I went swimming with sharks …. It cost me an arm and a leg.
5) The main function of your big toe is to make sure all the furniture in the house is in the right place.
6) Horses have lower divorce rates. It’s because they are in stable relationships.
7) It’s pretty obvious that if I run in front of a car, I will get tired but if I run behind a car I will get exhausted.
8) My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told them you just wait.
9) 90% of bald people still own a comb; they just can’t part with it.
10) Every morning I get hit by the same bicycle …… It’s a vicious cycle.
11) The word “incorrectly” is spelled incorrectly in every dictionary.
12) I’ve been experimenting with breeding racing deer. People have accused me of just trying to make a fast buck.
13) The other day I yelled into a colander and I strained my voice.
14) I went to a fish restaurant last night and ordered the Octopus. The waiter told me it takes 4 hours to cook. "Why", I asked. He said "It’s because it keeps turning the gas off".
15) What do you call a row of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare line.
16) When I was a kid, we played spin the bottle with the girls. If they didn’t want to kiss you, they would have you give you a dollar. By the time I was 12, I owned my own home.
1) I’ve just finished reading a book about the world’s greatest basement ….. It was a best cellar.
2) It’s my first week working at the bicycle factory and they already made me a spokesperson.
3) My laptop caught pneumonia, apparently, because I left Windows open.
4) I thought swimming with Dolphins was expensive until I went swimming with sharks …. It cost me an arm and a leg.
5) The main function of your big toe is to make sure all the furniture in the house is in the right place.
6) Horses have lower divorce rates. It’s because they are in stable relationships.
7) It’s pretty obvious that if I run in front of a car, I will get tired but if I run behind a car I will get exhausted.
8) My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told them you just wait.
9) 90% of bald people still own a comb; they just can’t part with it.
10) Every morning I get hit by the same bicycle …… It’s a vicious cycle.
11) The word “incorrectly” is spelled incorrectly in every dictionary.
12) I’ve been experimenting with breeding racing deer. People have accused me of just trying to make a fast buck.
13) The other day I yelled into a colander and I strained my voice.
14) I went to a fish restaurant last night and ordered the Octopus. The waiter told me it takes 4 hours to cook. "Why", I asked. He said "It’s because it keeps turning the gas off".
15) What do you call a row of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare line.
16) When I was a kid, we played spin the bottle with the girls. If they didn’t want to kiss you, they would have you give you a dollar. By the time I was 12, I owned my own home.
BigHornRam
Well-known member
I know RoundUp salesmen used to drink it to show how safe of a product it was, but I think this might be a bit too extreme.
antelopedundee
Well-known member
Fable of the Porcupine
It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold.
The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep warm. This way they covered and Protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions.
After a while, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their Companions or disappear from the Earth.
Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. They learned to live with the little wounds caused by the close relationship with their companions in order to receive the heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive.
The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person's good qualities.
The moral of the story is:
Just learn to live with the Pricks in your life!
It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold.
The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep warm. This way they covered and Protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions.
After a while, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their Companions or disappear from the Earth.
Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. They learned to live with the little wounds caused by the close relationship with their companions in order to receive the heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive.
The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person's good qualities.
The moral of the story is:
Just learn to live with the Pricks in your life!
JV842
Well-known member
antelopedundee
Well-known member
antelopedundee
Well-known member
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