Gastro Gnome - Eat Better Wherever

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My limited experience has given me a healthy fear and taught me to just dress to swim and rig for epic failure... I see folks in pack rafts with critters in their hunting gear. I do not have that level of confidence hence the 5mm wetsuit, gloves, socks, etc.

If the worst were to happen the buoyancy from a suit in frigid water can't be understated as well. That and its the only attire that its not only acceptable but expected to piss your pants in.
 
You may already know this, booties under and gloves over to limit water intake. I'd maybe look at getting a neck seal if your going hoodless as well. Nothing worse than cold water pouring in from the top.
 
Arrived at the river, and were were worried that it was going to be a no go, as the previous weekend the river had been frozen solid.
This morning the river was really slushy aka frazil. You could paddle well on the straightaways, but there would be little sections were it got narrow you basically couldn't maneuver in the slush, and a couple of spots where the river froze over and you had to portage. Also the river flows faster since the banks develop these ice wall and choke it down. A lip forms along the edge of the river, kinda like the side of a pool. It's tall enough a canoe doesn't slip up on the ice well, but the ice is too thin to stand on.
View attachment 152474

Anyway, we decide carpe diem and went for it, day started great, tons of action tons of birds.

A group of ducks flush from the river, I hit 2 one went down, the other was wounded. As anyone with any river experience would tell you, you want to go slow, slow gives you time to deal with obstacles.

I got excited, put down my gun and started paddling, to catch up to the wounded bird, and I mean paddling. Michael Phelps of the canoe. We were hauling butt, river came to a choke point, and a tight turn.

The canoe slammed into the side wall of ice, had we been going slower the front would likely have pin balled off, and my buddy in the back with have made one strong back stroke and swung the nose of the boat downstream.

As it was, the nose struck and stuck, the stern of the boat swung wide with the current, hit the opposite side of the river ice wall... and we were pinned.

Had this been earlier in the year in a clear river we might have been able to lean up river and ride it out.

but... it wasn't and the conveyor belt of icy bullsh&t was now hitting the boat broadside.


Everything happened in slow-mo.

Gunnel edged closer and closer to the edge of the water. I looked back and saw that fff&$K look in my buddies eyes, wide as saucers.

We both bailed. Through not so much as a cannon ball into a pool, but as sailors of a racing scow who just caught a rogue puff that's smacked their sail into the drink and are gonna haul her back upright.

Each of use had both hands on the gunnels and kept our arms pits above what was assuredly about to be the worst case of shrinkage I'd ever experienced.

My buddy jumped out on the up stream side and I downstream side of the boat, with out our weight gone the boat pivoted a bit.

Boat was completely swamped, our guns hopefully in the boat beneath the opaque ice waters. We floated for a bit like this until we got to a shallow part where we could touch.

We edged our way to shore and gingerly drained our craft.

Both guns were recovered, though looking a bit cartoon-ish with the instate rime that formed on them. To be honest I felt like I had just been hit by Mr. Freeze. Everything that had gotten wet essentially flash froze when we got out. Our legs, arms, chests, back were ridged with ice.

We had a bit of a how the f- did we survive that moment, my buddy smoked a cigarette.
We looked in horror at the icy overhang that we could have been swept under if we had gone in 40 yards further down the river.

Wasn't really much we could do after that, guns were toast, and we had about an hour float left so we got back in and kept'er moving.

Had anyone else been stupid enough to venture out that day they would have had a pretty comical show at the take out.
That is 100% Nope ^Fawk!

Did you build a fire to get warm/dry? There's no way I'm surviving an hour float out at that point.
 
We talked about it for a second, but then just decided we needed to get to the truck ASAP
What were you wearing? All I can think about is that I broke through the ice duck hunting here is WA at about 15 degrees and windy and had to break a window to get into my truck because by the time I got to the truck I couldn't use my hands. Starting the truck too a solid 10 minutes once I was in.

Also, have a helluva good time, don't break the #1 rule, and I can't wait to see the pics and hear the story.
 
@wllm1313

Did you consider and or find any upriver transporters for you and your gear to just float down?
I'm trying to locate rivers I can get access to that don't cost an arm and a leg. I found one involving possible access by an alternative transport that seems intriguing and a cheap way to access some good places to put in.

For example, I found a fishing guide who offers a DIY float moose hunt for 10K, but earlier in the season this same trip is called "fishing" and it includes a guide for $4K. I found another DIY Moose outfitter that charges $8,500. (Nope!). I'd like to dig up on how to get this trip at $5K or less including a tag.

Do you have any tips or intel you'd be willing to share on vendors who transport people upriver in General Moose units? Even air-taxi seems like a reasonable option at $500 round trip. It seems everyone wants to charge more (because they can) for old hunters burning cash to die in a blaze of glory.
 
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