Yep... I’m a moron...

[ZBB]

I’m gonna bump this thread up. With damn near a year between posts there should be some things to add.
Yesterday I was putting some finishing touches on some shop cabinets I’m building. Putting some solid mitered edging around a table top. I was having a hard time keeping last miter together so I decided to make a couple clamping cauls to close it up. Went to the miter saw to cut the pieces quick. Wasn’t thinking...at all. Moved a piece out of the way but not off the saw completely. Being in a hurry I threw my workpiece against the fence and went for it. This is where the piece that I didn’t move out of the way come in. Blade grabbed it sucked it up into the blade. Smacked my thumb pretty good and heard a loud crash. Bent the blade, and took a pretty good gouge out of the aluminum. Also wasn’t wearing safety glasses. Could’ve ended a lot worse. Hopefully I didn’t mess the arbor up.
The saw

The Workpiece

 

[geetar]

One time as a kid I stuck an aluminum baseball bat to the electric fence to see if the rubber grip would insulate the shock as my dad had just explained the concept of why he used insulators on the fence posts. It did not work and I picked myself up off the ground and carried on with life. ️

 

[nrpate05]

I've lost my phone while holding it up to me ear once or twice

 

[Dsnow9]

I’ve had a few in my day but nothing like First season elk last year. I had packed and repacked, fine tuning the gear down to the essentials to cut weight but not skimp. The night before I left I spent some time dry firing with blanks to practice my trigger pull. Put the gun back in the safe and pulled up to the range early the next morning to verify the zero before going into the woods. Luckily I did that because I realized I somehow dropped the bolt into the bottom of the safe and I had a 6 hour round trip to get it. I did not get any day before the season scouting in last year.

 

[targetpanic]

Stood up to look over the boat windshield only to lose hat and Maui Jims to the depths of Lake George.

Was using handheld GPS on boat, got back home at end of day and having a couple beers with my buddy throwing the empties into a plastic grocery bag. The wife came outside and took the bag of empties and the bag w my sweatshirt and gps...both bags ended up in the trash.

I used to make homemade trail cameras in pelican cases. I mounted the board inside and used a laser to line up the holes to be drilled for the sensor...closed the lid, marked the hole and drilled right through the sensor.

Shooting off a cannon one night but it was dark and I didn't have a flashlight...brilliant me decided to use the lighter as a light source to see the end of the fuse...ran the lighter right against the flash hole and BOOM! Lucky I didn't blow my eyes out...I did have to have Pyrodex granules surgically removed from my eye though

 

[dcopas78]

We had a huge party one spring night while I was in college. Picked up kegs and started hitting it at about 10 AM and didn't stop all day. Severe storms/tornadoes moved in. I "staggered" out to the parking lot the next block over where my car was to make sure my windows were up.....don't remember anything for about the next 3 hours. I woke up laying across the front seats with my legs hanging out the driver's side....completely soaked. Got back to the house and my friends were just about ready to call the cops to come look for me because apparently a tornado had touched down right across the river from where I was at. You've never been drunk until you've been passed-out-through-a-tornado-in-a-front-seat drunk

 

[thusby]

Got into a huge school of speckled trout under a flock of gulls one time. I was snagging two trout at a time and slapping them in the boat. I was using my pliers to unhook the fish and then throw the fishing cork back in the water. Somehow I got my hands mixed up while I was excited, stuck the fishing cork in my pocket and sailed the pliers about 15 feet out into the bayou. They were new pliers too.

 

[JFish]

During a very packed college party I felt the need to get everyone’s attention and announce to the whole crowd I was doing a beer bong. I poured a beer in and picked the funnel up as high as I could while muttering something about “setting a new record”. Turns out the ceiling fan was on and I stuck the funnel into the fan blades. I ended up violently spraying beer all over everyone. The crowd turned ugly, started booing and threw me out. It was my own house...

 

[thusby]

My aunt once accidentally brushed her 2 year old grandson's teeth with diaper rash butt paste. She couldn't figure out the weird looks she was getting until the next day.

 

[blueridge]

I chinked a log cabin today. At the beginning of the day I had pliers in my back pocket. At some point I switched that out for my small trowel. Then spent the rest of the day wondering where my small trowel was, not thinking to check my back pocket b/c that lump is my pliers. 4:50pm, getting in my truck. Yup, there it is. Dumb @ss.

 

[Foxtrot1]

I have pulled the common looking for your cell phone while holding it bit, and like Cushman, I have an ex-wife that when I think about that period, just have to scratch my head and wonder what the hell I was thinking. But I have been preparing for this post my whole life, I have been surrounded by morons…..


My oldest brother, Randall, and a close friend, Jeff, were deer hunting at a popular WMA in South Alabama. It had been raining all week and the roads were sloppy. They were hunting out of my brother’s little bronco II that was his hunting rig at the time. They were pulling ATVs as far as they could then unloading them and going from there. To fit 2 on the trailer, they had removed the gate and were using a set of ramps instead. To keep someone from stealing the ramps, Jeff had taken them into the woods and hidden them behind a brushpile. After hunting all day, they got back to the truck in the dark and it was cold and still raining. Jeff walked out into the woods to get the ramps while Randall cranked the little truck to let it warm up. It was a 5 speed, so he had opened the door and stuck his right foot in to depress the clutch. With the little truck running and his boots covered in Alabama red clay, his foot slipped off the clutch. The truck was in 4 low and lurched forward, catching his right foot under the clutch, pulling him off his feet. After dragging him 10’ or so he came loose, only for the truck to climb over him mid thigh. Lying in the mud groaning, wondering what was crushed, he started to feel about to see if anything was broken. Then the trailer hit him and ran over him. Meanwhile, Jeff looks up and sees the truck crawling toward him while he was the proverbial “deer in the headlights”. Jeff thought Randall was just messing with him, so he didn’t react. The truck hit him too, knocking him to the side and slamming the ATV ramps across his legs. So now 2 morons are lying on the ground, run over by their own truck, as it continues to crawl out into the woods. Jeff finally got up and limped it down to catch it before it crashed somewhere they couldn’t get it out. When they got home both were banged up, but you could take a picture of Randall’s thighs and identify the tire tread pattern. If the roads hadn’t been so muddy and soft, it would probably have killed him.


I would like to say that this was a momentary lapse of judgment, but no, I have 20 years of those 2 doing stupid sh!t together stories….

 

[Mallardsx2]

I was sharpening my chainsaw chains the other day and I always wear heavy welders gloves. I didnt. And now, I have a boo-boo...

 

[Mudder]

I was sharpening my chainsaw chains the other day and I always wear heavy welders gloves. I didnt. And now, I have a boo-boo...

I did pretty much the same, sharpening my saw in the vice, went to spin the chain for the next dozen teeth and accidentally hit the brake, shredded my fingers. Dumbass......

 

[Mudder]

I think my little (6'6") brother is one of the all-time champions in stupid stuff. We were pumping out the swimming pool to change the burnt-out lights. Ran the hose out to a manhole cover in an alley behind the house. My brother pops the manhole lid and it is full of Cockroaches, I mean thousands of Roaches. He decides he is going to burn them and dumps a five-gallon can of gas down the sewer. He forgot the matches, comes back a few minutes later, lights a match and throws it in the sewer. Ten-foot flames shoot out of the manhole, our ears pop, felt like we were standing next to a speeding train. We are standing there in shock when we hear bang, clang, clang then again farther away and then again. Every manhole cover for most of a block blew, judging from the delay they went up a long ways. We quickly put the cover back on the manhole and run into the house. We find my mother standing in the bathroom looking at the ceiling, there was a big wet circle above the toilet. She looked at us suspiciously, we tried to look innocent.

 

[Scrappy]

I've been pepper sprayed 7 times in the past 15 years. It sucked the first time and the last time. I have also sprayed over 300 people as well so I guess I'm about even.

You should stop stalking people

 

[DouglasR]

Dumped 2 gallons of oil in my semi once without putting the plug back in the pan.
$26 down the drain... literally.

 

[DouglasR]

This one’s extremely embarrassing to admit, but when I was like 20 (and prob pretty hungover) I was doing a pm on one of my old mans trucks. After draining the oil out of the engine I was like “let me fire this thing up and let it build air so I can adjust the brakes while I’m under there greasing”. About 30 seconds after starting it I was sitting there trying to figure out why the oil warning light wasn’t shutting off when it hit me “OMFG there’s no oil in the engine!!!! I just drained it!!!!”
Luckily it only ran for less than a minute and that was more than a million miles ago and she still hasn’t been opened up.
It’s hard to beat a 07’ isx.
Maybe I should just pay someone to do the oil changes

 

[Mudder]

Hunting related, I was sitting for Hogs in a tower, I'd parked my truck maybe a quarter of a mile from the tower. I left my pooch in the truck with a blanket. 3 AM I'd had my fill and was cold to the bone decided it was time to go. Walking back to my truck I glance down a shooting lane I'd cut through a thicket and see a 50-pound Hog rooting. I sit down slowly, raise my rifle and rest my elbows on my knees and shoot, Hog facing me. Hog goes down in a pile. I'd shot a little high because I didn't want to blow the Hogs guts out, 7X57 at around thirty yards. I get the bright idea to go get my young dog and let him worry the Hog a little just to get his blood up some. Dog runs up to the Hog and starts right in chewing on that Hogs asshole, Hog jumps up and the dog grabs the Hog by the back leg, Hog grabs the dog by the back leg, They start going around in circles, I'm trying to get another shot and I'm afraid to shoot and hit my dog. Eventually, the Dog and Hog let loose and the Hog runs into the thicket. I send my dog in after the Hog and follow as best as I can, this was a really dense thicket. The dog starts barking loudly, yelps and comes running back my way and passes right by me. I go farther into the thicket and suddenly hear three very deep grunts from different spots out in front of me and it dawns on me there are three very large Hogs right there in front of me. I have a mantra when Hog hunting, if they aren't afraid of me I'm afraid of them. I followed my dog out of that thicket. I never did find the Hog I'd shot, I looked for a couple of hours that night and three more after it got light out.
Yes I'm a moron, I tried to get fancy with my shooting to save meat and lost my Hog.

 

[Scrappy]

Dumped 2 gallons of oil in my semi once without putting the plug back in the pan.
$26 down the drain... literally.

What kind of moron would, oh wait

 

[FamilyMan]

@Foxtrot1

"So now 2 morons are lying on the ground, run over by their own truck " One of the funniest things I have read in a long time!!