Yep... I’m a moron...

[dirtclod Az.]

Talking on my phone to my Girlfriend and frantically looking for my phone for 10 min.
She says what are you talking on?DUH?

 

[ntodwild]

Special tag draw for branch bull elk here in Washington. Hunting with a buddy who also had a tag. Long story short......Elk Spotted, arrowed and huge blood trial 3 hours before sunset. AWESOME! Hey, lets go back to camp, drink some beer and come back in an hour or so. Hike out, Jump in truck, run back to camp and proceed to happily go through a six pack of cold ones.

Ok, scenario is we have solid blood, the elk was hit 200 yards from a 4x4 trail. Since I happen to have an ATV in the back of my truck we decide in our amazing wisdom that this would be super easy. ATV, sled, animal comes out whole.......Peace of cake.

Back at the scene of the shot, track blood for 150 yards, dead 5x5, pictures, laughter, exuberant happiness. Since we were gonna get this elk out whole we decided to gut.....Everything goes well..I tell me buddy that I will hike back to the truck pull the ATV off the truck and get close via the 4x4 trail and we can drag our amazing kill out on a sled.......Yeh Baby!!!!!

Back at the truck..............NOT AN ATV KEY TO BE FOUND! Meat hauling packs back at camp. Yep, I'm a Moron!

Story continues but you get the idea..........

 

[BackofBeyond]

A couple summers ago my company asked me to go help out on a project on the gulf coast in Florida. It sucked being on the road but they flew me home every other weekend so it wasn’t that bad. One weekend, left the jobsite Thursday afternoon, swung through a drive thru for a burger, fries, and a chocolate shake to eat on the way to the airport. Once I landed in Atlanta for my connection I realized I had ate the burger and fries, but hadn’t touched the milk shake, which was sitting in the cupholder of my truck... parked outside... in Pensacola Florida... in August.

Ya. I’m a moron.

 

[Deleted member 28227]

Ladies and gentleman these stories are everything I hoped for... not sure how we all made it to adulthood...

 

[Dinkshooter]

I started applying for an AZ archery elk tag 20 years ago.

 

[Dinkshooter]

Started applying for a MT sheep tag 18 years ago

 

[Dinkshooter]

I moved from Colorado to Iowa from 1998-2002 for a piece of tail. Beat that one.

 

[Dinkshooter]

In 1997 Oct we drove on out to DIA during this to see if we could fly to freaking New Jersey to go bowhunt whitetail deer. It was quite the scene. However, we were not town retards and got around town just fine.

20 Years Ago Today: Front Range Buried In October Blizzard

It's still known as one of the worst and deadliest storms in state history.

denver.cbslocal.com

• Stapleton Airport (Denver) – 21.9″
• Denver International Airport – 14″

In Denver, at least 120 cars were abandoned along Peña Blvd. as high wind created white-out conditions and large drifts of snow.

 

[JTHOMP]

I've done way two many stupid things. The lastest no harm one?

I bought a new boat motor two months ago. The guy I bought it from had a 5 inch extension to make it a long shaft and I needed I short so while I was there were removed the extension and put the lower unit back on (hind site the gear linkage was out of line when we put the lower unit back on) . First time in the water noticed it would go into reverse, but only stay if holding the shift back. Really not that big of a deal at the time. Went frogging the other night and the reverse set up SUCKED so decided to try to fix it this evening.

General consensus was readjust the gear linkage. After 3 hours of googling, youtubing, posting in facebook boat pages, removing and reinstalling the lower unit 2 times, adjusting this and that, I finally realized what people were telling me in the comments and all I had to do was continue threading the female piece down to the lower unit rod. What should've took 10 seconds took 3 hours and 10 seconds

 

[antlerradar]

When I was much younger I parked my truck at the base of a very steep and rocky hill. About a 100 yards up the hill I accidentally dislodged a basket ball sized rock. It quickly gained speed as it rolled down the hill. All I could do was stand there and watch. It is a real helpless feeling and all you can think about is what a dumb a$$ you are and how much damage is going to happen. Fortunately the rock missed the front of the truck by about 5 feet and I continued up the hill a little wiser and a lot more cautiously.

 

[SaskHunter]

Last fall was quite the hunting season with some highs and one very bittersweet low. It started very well with my brother flying in from out of province, I was pretty excited as it was the first time in years that we were going to be hunting together and he filled his archery whitetail with a beautiful buck. Then I went on a trip to Wyoming for Pronghorn, I was successful and shot a decent buck, made it home in time to fill my archery Saskatchewan mule deer tag on the very last evening of the season.

Then came rifle Whitetail season, the season started very well, lots of action and I saw plenty of deer, I am lucky to hunt a deer hunting paradise and can be picky and pass several nice bucks if I want. A few days into the rifle season though, I decided I had spent enough time hunting (the wife may have played a big part in that decision) and figured I would shoot the first decent buck that showed it's face. Sure enough, the next morning I spotted several does with 4 bucks, the rut was in full swing and all I needed to do was move in a little closer which I did easily. I spotted the largest buck of the four, took an easy 100m shot off of a fence post. Everything felt good, the buck kicked, jumped the fence line I was shooting from and disappeared in an open pasture (300 x 200 yds) that I couldn't see because a willow patch. I figured I'd walk past the willows and would see my buck dead in that pasture. I walked up and couldn't see the deer, maybe he was past the tree line, so I figured I'd look for a blood trail. There was snow on the ground but it was over a week old, tracks were literally everywhere. I couldn't find blood for the first hour. I started doing circles and clover leafs and eventually found a pin sized drop of blood, so I backtracked it to where the deer was shot and started following the tracks. Barely any blood, I managed to follow the trail for 30 yds then nothing. I kept pushing and looking for hours into the tree line, doing more circles and clover leafs, trying to follow the many deer trails. Nothing, as time went by, I started doubting my shot, the shot that felt good then, now felt like a shitty shot. I went back home around 2pm and figured I'd be back the next morning as I was busy that evening, it was cold enough that the deer you still be good if it was already dead and would give time for the deer to die if it was a bad shot.

The next morning, I drove in after first light and could see crows and magpies in the distance. I was sort of relieved, from where I was, it seemed like they were flying over the bush and I was telling myself that waiting was the right call. As I got in closer, I noticed that the birds were flying/landing in the middle of the pasture. My heart sunk, my deer had not ran more than 75 yds and had died in a small depression filled with buck brush and only big enough to hide a deer. I could see my tracks and that I had walked not 10 yds past it several times. Even with magpies and crows perched on the carcass, I could not see it as I was walking towards it, until I was close enough to see the right side of the buck's antlers where a very large crow was perched on. The coyotes had eaten 3 out of 4 quarters and it was covered in bird shit. I managed to "flip" the carcass on its "good" side, cleaned the head of bird crap with snow and got a few half decent "deflated deer" pictures, I tagged the rack and left with it.

I'm very happy I found the deer but am very disappointed with myself, this was far from my first "tracking" job and have found animals in far worst conditions. This was the third animal I had shot with my 25-06 and the third animal with good shots but very poor blood trail.

 

[rtraverdavis]

This is my sort of thread. For once, I’m an expert.

I went on a five day solo float trip down the roadless stretch of the Deschutes during the salmonfly hatch. Left my freshly stocked box of salmonfly dries at home.

On the trip in which I killed my first deer, I forgot my binoculars at home and only brought a pair of cowboy boots for footwear because I’d been reading a lot of Cormac McCarthy and thought I’d look cool, like Llewelyn Moss.

I’ve driven away from gas pumps with the hose still attached to my vehicle on two separate occasions.

I have a healthy case of ADD.

 

[Scott85]

I've done way two many stupid things. The lastest no harm one?

I bought a new boat motor two months ago. The guy I bought it from had a 5 inch extension to make it a long shaft and I needed I short so while I was there were removed the extension and put the lower unit back on (hind site the gear linkage was out of line when we put the lower unit back on) . First time in the water noticed it would go into reverse, but only stay if holding the shift back. Really not that big of a deal at the time. Went frogging the other night and the reverse set up SUCKED so decided to try to fix it this evening.

General consensus was readjust the gear linkage. After 3 hours of googling, youtubing, posting in facebook boat pages, removing and reinstalling the lower unit 2 times, adjusting this and that, I finally realized what people were telling me in the comments and all I had to do was continue threading the female piece down to the lower unit rod. What should've took 10 seconds took 3 hours and 10 seconds

 

[HSi-ESi]

One summer job I had right after college was working for the Forest Service, staying in a work center when we weren't backpacked in somewhere. The only phone onsite was in the "Office". One Friday I was going to head home - and since it was the days before cell phones - I pulled up to the office to call my folks and let them know I was hitting the road.

I had a 5 speed little Ford Ranger. There was a slight incline to the spot in front of the office, but I put the truck in neutral and set the parking brake. In my rush to make a phone call, I didn't push the brake all the way in (which I knew was an issue on that truck). Hop out of the truck, run into the office and pick up the phone. While the number is ringing, I glance out the front window to see my truck rolling downhill and picking up speed. It went through the buck-n-pole fence and out into the pasture. A few dents, but just for character. I was able to get out of the pasture no issues and did a quick fix on the fence. There wasn't any stock in the pasture, so I fixed it proper when I got back Sunday night.

 

[Festus]

Recently having issues with the office phones. Caller ID and voice mail not working all the time. I call the office number from my cell while standing at my desk.
Ring, ring... Just my luck - I'm getting a call right at the time I'm trying to check and see if the voice mail is answering. I hang up my cell and answer the office phone... you guessed it - no one there. I actually did this twice before realizing it was my call coming in that I was answering...
Don't tell my wife.

#canyouhearmenow?

 

[HighDesertSage]

I called my dad an asshole when I was 16, after I hung up the phone with him, or so I thought.

 

[noharleyyet]

I moved from Colorado to Iowa from 1998-2002 for a piece of tail. Beat that one.

You could've held my beer for 10 years...

 

[MJE2083]

I've got a few of my own, and some others that involve friends.

Like others I've had instances where I spent considerable time searching for something that was in my hand, pocket, on my head, etc...

Just last weekend, I returned home from a 10 day vacation to discover that I had left a bag of frozen vegetables in the microwave before I left.

One time on a 4 day fishing/camping trip far from home, a friend of mine realized that he forgot to pack a change of underwear.

A friend told me this one... him and a buddy were out fishing in his boat. My friend had a 1/2 gallon plastic milk jug on the boat that he used as a urinal. He cut the bottom out of the jug and left the cap on the top (it was to be used upside down). His buddy needed to take a leak and he told him to use the jug. The buddy didn't realize that the bottom was cut out so he removed the cap and started to relieve himself into it, only to pee all over his feet and the boat.

Another time a friend and I were going fishing and he locked his keys in the car with it running. No spare. We called for a tow service to come open the door, but they were an hour or two away. We waited about 45 mins until I got the crazy idea to try one of my car keys in his lock. Low and behold, my key opened his passenger side rear door(but none of the others). Both cars were Ford's, but totally different years and models.

A few years ago my wife and I were on vacation in the Black Hills. We are driving around doing some tourist stuff. Eventually my wife realizes that she can't find her phone. We tear the car apart, nothing. She remembers having it at a specific place we had visited 2-3 hours earlier and probably 40 miles away. We start retracing our steps and after about 10 different stops and 2 hours I spot a black object on the shoulder of the road...there it was! Must have fallen out of her pocket as she was getting out of the car. Minor scratches, but no worse for wear.

 

[MJE2083]

Another one from a friend that I forgot about.

My friend is in his early 20's. Some family was visiting from out of town so my friends Dad offers to let them sleep in his bed for the weekend. Dad is going to sleep in my friends bed, and my friend will take the couch.

So it's Friday night and my friend goes out drinking with some buddies and gets wasted. He comes back home forgetting about the house guests and stumbles into his bedroom, takes off ALL of his clothes and literally jumps into his bed. Of course Dad was already in his bed. The house guests in the next room hear a commotion, come running into the bedroom, turn on the light only to find my friend laying on the floor totally naked and his Dad has him by the throat.

 

[rtraverdavis]

a friend of mine realized that he forgot to pack a change of underwear.

Buddy, I've been there on more than one occasion. Not good.