Would you?

[Addicting]

You just got a surprise notification that your son and DIL are due during your week long hunting trip out of state in less than a month. It’s your first grandchild and this will set precedent for your other kids. Wife instantly tells you your going to cancel your trip, right?

You have waited 6 years to draw this first tag and due to point creep you will likely never get to hunt this quality of a unit again. You may luck out and draw a random but with those odds you could also win the lotto.

The dates are set and everyone is on board because of your original desired dates. Dates cannot be changed because all of your hunting partners have made plans around these dates.

The tag is good for 35 days and you could possibly go later, solo, & post birth.

 

[Wild Bill]

Do you live in the same town as them? My parents live 5-1/2 hours away so when we had our boys they came out the weekend after. If they’re in the same town or closer, maybe that changes it a little.

 

[Nameless Range]

About 60% of babies are born within a week of either side of a due date.

More than 90% are born two weeks either side of the predicted date.

But, as noted above, only 4% (or 4.4%, ignoring pregnancies with complications etc) are born on the predicted date itself - in other words, the chance of this happening is less than one in 20.

I say Go. I have 3 kids, and though my folks were around for all of their births, if my dad was off hunting I'd have been happy for him and it wouldn't have bothered me.

 

[Addicting]

Do you live in the same town as them? My parents live 5-1/2 hours away so when we had our boys they came out the weekend after. If they’re in the same town or closer, maybe that changes it a little.

Same town

 

[Wild Bill]

First grandchild? If so, what kinda expectations did you set for the others?
Otherwise, ask the parents to be what they think?

 

[Addicting]

First grandchild? If so, what kinda expectations did you set for the others?
Otherwise, ask the parents to be what they think?

First, this will be precedent for all others.

 

[Deleted member 52098]

A few questions:

1. First kid?
2. Why are you only finding out about the due date now? That kind of feels like its on them
3. What exactly are you going to do on the day of the birth that the father and grandmother can't?

My two cents, you should go and I normally always err on the side of family first. There really is nothing you can do the day of and I don't know that my mom - a true helicopter parent - was even in the state both times my sister gave birth

 

[TOGIE]

my wifes parents were in israel when she went into labor. then had to covid quarantine. didn't meet the kid for like 10-12 days or something.

nobody cared.

my parents were maybe a little quick to come say hello at the hospital.

forget what your wife thinks, and frankly forget what your son thinks, what does your DAUGHTER in law think?

 

[brymoore]

I missed one of my kids birth due to unforeseen circumstances. Love him the same as the others.

I’d probably go and just plan time after the birth to spend with the family

 

[Wild Bill]

I think you go hunt. Grandma can go and hold the baby a little, maybe change a diaper. But yea like others have said, what more can you do then that you can’t do a week later? Plus if you’re in the same town, you’re gonna be babysitter #1. You’ll have plenty of time with the kiddo.

 

[Southern Elk]

My philosophy is that if family and friends want me around, they should not have weddings or babies during hunting season. I say go hunting. It would be different if it wasn’t such a hard to get tag.

 

[seeth07]

It would be different if it wasn’t such a hard to get tag.

Isn't a 6 year wait to get an elk tag in a state just about the norm these days? Or at least close to it? Not counting CO although that is due to change very soon.

 

[Mica Man]

I've got five kids and had no expectation that my parents or inlaws needed to be around when they were born. We just touched base over the phone to share details and let them know our bundle of joy had arrived. My mother in law did show up to help out afterwards when we got home but having too many people around can be a PITA. I say go hunt.

 

[gouch]

Just go. I now have 11 grandkids and I'll be damned if I'm going to put my life on hold every time one of my kids decides to birth another baby. Nothing you're going to get to do with the baby until it gets a little older anyway, except look at it and say how cute it is, even if it's butt ugly. Like you said, it sets a precedent. How many more hunts are you going to want to miss?

 

[Treeshark]

2. Why are you only finding out about the due date now? That kind of feels like its on them
3. What exactly are you going to do on the day of the birth that the father and grandmother can't?

My thoughts here as well. It doesn’t seem like it would be a big deal if you’re just finding out now.

Just go, have fun, and see the baby when you get back (which is when the mom will actually want people to stop by).

 

[LuketheDog]

A few questions:
2. Why are you only finding out about the due date now? That kind of feels like its on them

Um, yeah, this thing has been cooking for 8 months, this is not a surprise.

3. What exactly are you going to do on the day of the birth that the father and grandmother can't?

Absolutely nothing. You're going to sit in the chair in the waiting room for hours/days for the birth, then you'll get to visit the kid and talk to the new parents for 15-30 minutes, then you'll be ushered right back out to the room. Frankly, your wife probably doesn't even care if you're there because she and the other grandma are going to be bickering with each other about who gets to hold the child and completely ignoring you!

forget what your wife thinks, and frankly forget what your son thinks, what does your DAUGHTER in law think?

Preach it. Is she the type who is awesome and will be happy you got a grandkid and shot an elk the same week, or is she the type who will get passive-aggressive every time your hunting trips and/or the kiddo's birthday comes up in the fall.


Honestly, I didn't care that my in-laws were there, and my wife didn't care if my folks were there.

 

[TOGIE]

Preach it. Is she the type who is awesome and will be happy you got a grandkid and shot an elk the same week, or is she the type who will get passive-aggressive every time your hunting trips and/or the kiddo's birthday comes up in the fall.


Honestly, I didn't care that my in-laws were there, and my wife didn't care if my folks were there.

and it's your second point that is almost the most important.

when does the new mom want to see people? in that first 4 to 6 days chances are she doesn't want to see anyone but her husband, and then maybe mom and sister.

everyone else doesn't exist to her for at least a few days and maybe more. grandmas are always on deck for late night pleas for help, either grandma. grandpas.... lowest on the totem pole.

not every new mom will be the same, but the general thing here i learned, everything comes down to what new momma wants. period. and what new momma wants is most likely not people coming around very much.

so, most likely, go hunting.

 

[smw110136]

Go hunting.

Your kids will probably change their minds about having visitors and guests around. I have had three kids in five years and literally don't want anyone around for a week after the babies have been born. It's emotionally and physically exhausting for new parents, but in reality, there's only so much grandparents can do. Having too many people around to see the new baby can add to the stress. I have a great relationship with both my parents and in-laws, but those first weeks at home are important for those new parents to get through together. It's hard not to be excited as a first time grandparent, but there's a good chance your kids will not mind you going on the trip. More than likely, your wife is the one that needs to be convinced it's ok.

 

[seeth07]

or the kiddo's birthday comes up in the fall.

This. You are royally screwed for the next 10 to 15 years because you will be expected to make the birthday parties and they arent necessarily going to schedule around your hunts. Take this year while you got it!

 

[LuketheDog]

and it's your second point that is almost the most important.

when does the new mom want to see people? in that first 4 to 6 days chances are she doesn't want to see anyone but her husband, and then maybe mom and sister.

everyone else doesn't exist to her for at least a few days and maybe more. grandmas are always on deck for late night pleas for help, either grandma. grandpas.... lowest on the totem pole.

not every new mom will be the same, but the general thing here i learned, everything comes down to what new momma wants. period.

so, most likely, go hunting.

This is true, you might be able to share a celebratory glass of whiskey with your boy after everyone else goes to bed, but otherwise you're at the end of the bench for at least a week. When our first was born we lived 100 miles away and my in-laws basically moved into our small house for a week, basically uninvited. My MIL was helpful I guess, but my FIL was bored and obnoxious, couldn't wait for them to leave. They did it again when our second daughter came early, and while we were in the midst of moving to a new house. He got bored again and decided to pack our whole kitchen to the new house, so when we got home from the hospital a couple days later we had one house with all our other stuff but nothing in the kitchen, and the new house had all the kitchen stuff in unmarked boxes and nothing else. He's an engineer too, not sure how that made sense to him, but the level of brain damage it caused was historical.