Where the sun don’t shine

[44hunter45]

GO Vandal's!

We are nasty and inebriated.

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/561401909794236094/

 

[shines@times]

I’m never without toilet paper. It’s in the pack and it’s in the truck.

Your John Muir tagline will never have quite the same meaning for me again!

 

[shines@times]

At this point I had no choice but to sacrifice my lunchbox.

I can relate!

The bus driver Bill never liked me from my early elementary school days when he once threw me off the bus for fighting with another kid and said he would not transport me anymore, and then had to revise that position after a discussion with my father, a WW2 combat vet, at the bus stop the next day.

His attitude improved years later, and I even sensed a degree of begrudging respect when I used my lunchbox for a puke bucket. I had gotten suddenly and violently ill on the ride home after school one day. Though I managed to alert Bill to the need, I could not help but spew before he managed to pull the bus over. Bill gratefully emptied the lunchbox for me on the weeds outside, returned it to me and even complemented me for "...using [my] head."

 

[Gary]

A buddy had an opposite experience. Took a guy to Michigan salmon fishing. The guy wouldn't go out in the boat until he could #2. They sat around 4 hours waiting. Needless to say he doesn't get invited anymore.

Well... he could have spent the rest of the day cleaning fish; when we got back.

 

[Gary]

For many years my Army dress trousers (mid 60's issue) were my main hunting pants. The pockets were sacrificed long before the pants finally wore out. The pockets were made of a pretty strong fabric - no need to double up to get the job done.

 

[Seeleylakehunter]

Drove to Missoula one night to have china buffet for dinner . Wife drove .I wasn't feeling to hot. I say honey pull over she looks at me and says when .I said like now. She chuckles .. keeps driving .. I said let's crank this shit ship to the side of the road before it gets bad ma c'mon .come to a stop .I bail . So I'm holding on to the receiver hitch showing the highway lookie loos my business. I holler at the lady asking for TP. No luck. Could you look around the truck for something please. She says yep . Break lights light up. Then the game of let's see if dad can keep up with shitty ass starts . Oh she thought she was just the funniest gal around . Me not so much. Games came to a stop. No wipe no time also not much said on the way home . Get home and the kid says hey dad you didn't get any in the seat did you? I look at the wife she smiles I smile and I say no son I don't think so.lol. Thank God for that 6 year old son of mine to break the ice. Lol.

 

[LWC55]

Guy at deer camp has been having a tough go of it all weekend. Spending a lot of time in the restroom if you know what I mean. Getting ready to head home on Sunday which is about a 2 hour drive. He says somebody grab me a grocery sack in case I have to go on the way home. Driver says you ain’t shittin in a grocery sack in my truck. He says it’s not for shittin in....it’s to put OVER MY HEAD so people passing by can’t tell who is shittin on the side of the road. This guy is a character and in his mid 70’s

 

[steveshuntn1]

Guy I used to work with (truck driver) got stuck in a wreck on an overpass in Memphis TN. He had eaten two pizzas from a gas station about an hour before and as he stated the sauce was delicious and made of exlax. He tried everything he could to hold it but the chill bumps and the sweating had come to it’s end…it was go time. So with nothing in the truck he was gonna jump out and get in the trailer as he hit the catwalk he said that he stood up straight and clenched it together because he wasn’t taking another step without the floodgates opening! He held with all his might but knew this was happening! He started to yell at all the other motorists sitting around him in the four lanes of traffic to “look away everybody… look away!!!!” Then he dropped and blew out! He cleaned himself up as quickly as possible and set there four two more hours that afternoon. He said it was the longest day of his life! He called me and told me if I came that way to avoid the center lanes if possible!

 

[Saph]

Lets just say paper bark stays on the tree next time and i was never more glad to see one of those show bags after getting the runs in the middle of nowhere north queensland.

Also the storys about the guy shooting themself to stop pain from a plant called the gympie-gympie, yea they are real. No i didnt mess with the plant but have seen it up close enough to know its not to be messed with.