okie archer
Well-known member
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2015
- Messages
- 699
My wife is one of 7 children. At some point all of her siblings have been on drugs/alcohol some of them currently are using drugs. My wife included experimented some but right before she turned 18 she gave her heart to the Lord and chose a different path. That's when I met her at church, she just turned 18 and a year later we married a week before her 19th birthday. That was in the year 2000. We started our own family and shortly after I entered the ministry. At the age of 24 my wife became a pastors wife as I began my first pastorate. Not really what she signed up for but she accepted no problem. Well several years later our family grew to 6 with our 4 biological children. In early June of 2019 one of my wife's younger sisters was in bad shape. Hooked on drugs, part time homeless, living here and there, no water and electric at times, it was a mess. She had six children by several different men ranging from about 16 down to 6 months old.
DHS got wind of it and removed the children from her custody and they went right into state care. One child has never left the hospital since birth and the other 5 children were placed in emergency foster care and went to my in-laws home. In-laws were in their sixties and it wasn't logical for them to raise them all. Sooooo, my wife approached me about taking 3 of the children. Ages ranging from 6 months to 11 years old. Drugs were found in the six month olds system. I was definitely nervous about bringing 3 more children into our home. I explained we already have 4 of our own children. Emergency/temporary placement was one thing but I wanted to know the end goal. I told my wife these are not puppies or kitties these are real human beings. My wife said she couldn't stand the thought of the children being placed with strangers and probably would be separated from each other. Adoption would be the end goal. I asked my wife Rebekah how long did I have to think about it. She said oh, probably 3 or 4 days!
The children came into our home on June the 8th 2019. Ages were 6 months, 5 years, and 11 years old. I was 43 at the time! The oldest had some issues, like lying and hording food. Not to mention some physical and mental handicaps. It was really the way she learned to survive before. There were times when they were left at home alone for extended periods with no electricity in the house. Obviously the 11 year old was way behind in school as she didn't go much. I'm 100% pro life and 100% anti abortion but I wish people that are not going to be good parents would use birth control. (Side rant over) My wife talked her sister out of abortion on 2 different occasions. Her sister said she was afraid because if all the drugs she did during pregnancy that the babies would be mentally handicapped so she thought abortion was her best option, it wasn't, adoption was. She went through with the birth and even though the children had a rough raising they went to my in-laws for a few years in their teens. The oldest is now married to a marine and has a baby of her own and seems to be a good mother, she is also going to nursing school. She was almost aborted as was her younger brother was almost aborted at a very late term pregnancy. He is now about to graduate and is very intelligent and a talented musician.
There are more children in foster care than there are available homes for them to go to. At least in Oklahoma it's that way.
The last three years has been a long journey for all of us in many different ways. Kinley who was 5 when she first came to our home said she wanted to be a rapper when she grew up. Well that has changed, now she wants to marry a preacher. Kaylea the oldest has caught up in her school as well. Little Liam who was 6 months old that had drugs in his body has no side effects from it, he is very intelligent and makes most everyone he sees happy with his infectious smile.
I have witnessed once again how God can take a bad situation and somehow get good out of it. These children had just pieces of their lives but God has taken the pieces and is putting them back together. Children are the most vulnerable part of our society. It is amazing what the power of love and compassion can do for them. I'm saddened by the condition of our society in regards to children and I can't rescue the world but I can make a difference in 3 children that have been placed into my world. I'm not looking for any pat on the back. Any good that has come out of this I give all the credit and honor to God.
We have finally made it through all 3 years of the legal process and as of today,
THE ADOPTION IS FINAL!
Kaylea, Kinley, and Liam now carry my last name.
Everyone was present except my 18 year old, she was at work.
P.S. after the court procedure today I grilled deer steaks for lunch! They love it. Looks like I might need to kill some more deer to feed everyone!
DHS got wind of it and removed the children from her custody and they went right into state care. One child has never left the hospital since birth and the other 5 children were placed in emergency foster care and went to my in-laws home. In-laws were in their sixties and it wasn't logical for them to raise them all. Sooooo, my wife approached me about taking 3 of the children. Ages ranging from 6 months to 11 years old. Drugs were found in the six month olds system. I was definitely nervous about bringing 3 more children into our home. I explained we already have 4 of our own children. Emergency/temporary placement was one thing but I wanted to know the end goal. I told my wife these are not puppies or kitties these are real human beings. My wife said she couldn't stand the thought of the children being placed with strangers and probably would be separated from each other. Adoption would be the end goal. I asked my wife Rebekah how long did I have to think about it. She said oh, probably 3 or 4 days!
The children came into our home on June the 8th 2019. Ages were 6 months, 5 years, and 11 years old. I was 43 at the time! The oldest had some issues, like lying and hording food. Not to mention some physical and mental handicaps. It was really the way she learned to survive before. There were times when they were left at home alone for extended periods with no electricity in the house. Obviously the 11 year old was way behind in school as she didn't go much. I'm 100% pro life and 100% anti abortion but I wish people that are not going to be good parents would use birth control. (Side rant over) My wife talked her sister out of abortion on 2 different occasions. Her sister said she was afraid because if all the drugs she did during pregnancy that the babies would be mentally handicapped so she thought abortion was her best option, it wasn't, adoption was. She went through with the birth and even though the children had a rough raising they went to my in-laws for a few years in their teens. The oldest is now married to a marine and has a baby of her own and seems to be a good mother, she is also going to nursing school. She was almost aborted as was her younger brother was almost aborted at a very late term pregnancy. He is now about to graduate and is very intelligent and a talented musician.
There are more children in foster care than there are available homes for them to go to. At least in Oklahoma it's that way.
The last three years has been a long journey for all of us in many different ways. Kinley who was 5 when she first came to our home said she wanted to be a rapper when she grew up. Well that has changed, now she wants to marry a preacher. Kaylea the oldest has caught up in her school as well. Little Liam who was 6 months old that had drugs in his body has no side effects from it, he is very intelligent and makes most everyone he sees happy with his infectious smile.
I have witnessed once again how God can take a bad situation and somehow get good out of it. These children had just pieces of their lives but God has taken the pieces and is putting them back together. Children are the most vulnerable part of our society. It is amazing what the power of love and compassion can do for them. I'm saddened by the condition of our society in regards to children and I can't rescue the world but I can make a difference in 3 children that have been placed into my world. I'm not looking for any pat on the back. Any good that has come out of this I give all the credit and honor to God.
We have finally made it through all 3 years of the legal process and as of today,
THE ADOPTION IS FINAL!
Kaylea, Kinley, and Liam now carry my last name.
Everyone was present except my 18 year old, she was at work.
P.S. after the court procedure today I grilled deer steaks for lunch! They love it. Looks like I might need to kill some more deer to feed everyone!
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