Sh*t our wives do...

I get a long text series this morning about how my wife left the house without the keys but locked the door so she had to "break into the house" which she claimed is way too easy. Which I agree it is.

But I asked her, why she didn't just use the garage door opener in her car...

*crickets*
 
wife last night: I’ll have to take the truck to get my nails done because I don’t have enough gas.

This afternoon I get home and she took her car to town. I need to go to town so I say to my wife after she gets home.

Me: I’m going to town to renew the boat registration. Do you want me to put gas in your car?
Wife: that would be great! Can you wash it to?
Me: so, you just drove your car to town, past 3 gas stations and did not fill up?
Wife: I forgot.
Me: smh and walk out the door

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My wife is different. She starts getting nervous if the gas gauge drops below half a tank and she never lets it get to a quarter tank. Living 65 miles from the closest reasonably priced gas station might have something to do with her abnormality.
 
My wife is different. She starts getting nervous if the gas gauge drops below half a tank and she never lets it get to a quarter tank. Living 65 miles from the closest reasonably priced gas station might have something to do with her abnormality.
Do you think some of us could hire her to train our wives?

3 days ago mine said “man gas sure went up”. I thought about it before chastising her. The last time she got her own gas was probably 2015.
 
And to really blow your minds, she is never late. Usually a half hour early which sounds nice but can have its down side.
My wife is never late either…I tell her we have to be places a half hour before we actually do.
If I tell my wife we need to leave by 6, then in her mind that means I'm hoping to leave by 7 and expecting to leave by 8.
 
My wife is different. She starts getting nervous if the gas gauge drops below half a tank and she never lets it get to a quarter tank. Living 65 miles from the closest reasonably priced gas station might have something to do with her abnormality.
Thats how my wife used to be until she got a car with a range estimator.
 
If I tell my wife we need to leave by 6, then in her mind that means I'm hoping to leave by 7 and expecting to leave by 8.
If I tell at my wife at lunch I want to leave by 8 the next morning, she is hedging the time to 7:30 or 7:00 by that evening. Then we spend a half hour or better at the destinations waiting for things to open.
 
If I tell my wife we need to leave by 6, then in her mind that means I'm hoping to leave by 7 and expecting to leave by 8.
I cut that nonsense out early in marriage. So common in Hispanic culture and in South Florida culture when we got married. She wasn't terrible, but I told her I'd drive by myself rather than show up late with her. We've been (mostly) on the same page for the last 14 years lol.
 

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