Sh*t our wives do...

[duckhunt]

Mine surprised me with a new car payment on Saturday.

Also, I have to deal with the shower drain about 12 times a year.

Been married 20 years this july. I did the shower drain thing for about the first 10 years. After that I said I'm done. We have locker rooms with showers at work and I said if our shower doesn't drain I ll clean up at work. She actually does a good job of keeping that done now. Atleast I have that going for me now.

 

[Irrelevant]

Been married 20 years this july. I did the shower drain thing for about the first 10 years. After that I said I'm done. We have locker rooms with showers at work and I said if our shower doesn't drain I ll clean up at work. She actually does a good job of keeping that done now. Atleast I have that going for me now.

I left the gross wad of hair in her sink. It wasn't my hair so I didn't feel it was my job to throw it away. That solved the problem and I only had to sleep on the couch for 1 night. She went and got a little strainer and keep that clean.

 

[Gerald Martin]

This thread reminded me to text my wife and tell her I hoped her day was as great a she was.
Not that she doesn’t have a few foibles, but she’s a genuinely nice person to spend life with.

And, she always fills up her own car with gas when she needs it.

Some of you guys are high maintenance…

 

[2rocky]

When asked my grandfather told me "Your Grandmother and I have an understanding. She can make all the little decisions and I'll make the big decisions.

So far in 53 years, nothing big came up!"

I had a 20 year marriage that cost me half of my retirement and half of my home equity. Education is expensive.

So now the woman I share my life with is a lot more easy to get along with. I get "Thank you's" and "Love you's" a lot more than told I Dun F'ed up...

 

[WildWill]

Ok I pondered this one for a while but it just happened so here we go.

Daughter (apple) sitting at the table staring at her phone with her laptop open behind it.

Me: what are you doing?
Her: my grandmother broke my charger.
Me: THATS NOT WHAT I ASKED YOU
Her: I'm on Pintrest.

How do we get my grandmother broke my phone as a reasonable reply to what are you doing. Oh and the apple reference is because she didn't fall far from the tree.

@Europe, I'm not the OP but my ancestors would come up out of the grave and get me if I didn't mind my manners. I say you've earned exemption status to post as you feel. I'm all ears.

Your apple comment got me. My wife's training her own personal mini-me. She's teaching her about face peels tonight.

 

[Corn king 60]

Mine has her moments but overall I hit the lottery with her. She has been with me doing everything from bailing hay to pulling calves. Never ever complained about a hunting trip, worked a full time job until last may. Married 42 years today, seems like it was just yesterday.

 

[duckhunt]

Me and the wife just got into a nice little tussle. The first thing that came to mind was this thread. I like to prepare meals to take to work. I just sautéed some onions peppers and mushrooms to mix in with cheesy scrambled eggs. When I took a pot out to cook the eggs the wife sais don't use that pot food sticks to it. Ok I say let's get rid of it and I ll buy a new one. The wife is pissed. Don't throw it away I like to cook food in it. I say doesn't food stick to it? The reply was yes food sticks to it but I like to cook food in it. I put the pot back in the cupboard and she gave me one that food doesn't stick. Yeah this really just happened.

 

[Art Vandeley]

A few years ago I was watching my "bride to be" leave in the morning for work, it was snowing hard so I told her to drive my pickup instead of her car. I see her put it in reverse and start backing up, I start waiving my arms as her car is behind the pickup a little ways. She needed to turn a bit to go around it. For some reason she accelerated in reverse and slams my pickup into her car...

 

[LuketheDog]

My wife often wonders why it's cold in the house immediately after telling me to turn the heat down.

Last night...

wife: It's cold in here, can you get the wood stove going?
me: Sure, it's 71 though, that's not very cold...
wife: Well, I'M cold!
wife, an hour later: It's still cold!
me: I just checked the thermostat, it's up to 78, I'm sweating!
wife: No, it's still cold.
me: Well, if we're going to go through firewood this fast I'm buying myself a new chainsaw this spring
wife: You boys and your toys, you're so ridiculous...
me: Can't have my wonderful wife feeling cold!

 

[MThuntr]

As a forever single person that questions the sanity of any married person...this thread does make me get a little bit of WTF! FOMO.

Good thing FOMO is only temporary

 

[Ben Lamb]

Last night...

wife: It's cold in here, can you get the wood stove going?
me: Sure, it's 71 though, that's not very cold...
wife: Well, I'M cold!
wife, an hour later: It's still cold!
me: I just checked the thermostat, it's up to 78, I'm sweating!
wife: No, it's still cold.
me: Well, if we're going to go through firewood this fast I'm buying myself a new chainsaw this spring
wife: You boys and your toys, you're so ridiculous...
me: Can't have my wonderful wife feeling cold!

Also my wife, twenty minutes after asking me to turn the heat up and she's gone & done something instead of sitting & reading: Now it's too hot in here. We spend too much money on heat.

 

[Fj605]

Our last name starts with an "H"; therefore, my wife is obsessed with the letter "H". There are more damn H's in our house then I can probably count. Some on the walls, some on shelves. They're everywhere.

 

[Ben Lamb]

My wife: When you have the time, would you do XYZ chore?

Me: Sure.

My wife 30 seconds later, angry: I GUESS I'LL JUST F#$%ING DO IT MYSELF

 

[Irrelevant]

Also my wife, twenty minutes after asking me to turn the heat up and she's gone & done something instead of sitting & reading: Now it's too hot in here. We spend too much money on heat.

My wife's acceptable temperature range is 2 degs that rises and falls more than the price of bitcoin.

 

[MThuntr]

Last night...

wife: It's cold in here, can you get the wood stove going?
me: Sure, it's 71 though, that's not very cold...
wife: Well, I'M cold!
wife, an hour later: It's still cold!
me: I just checked the thermostat, it's up to 78, I'm sweating!
wife: No, it's still cold.
me: Well, if we're going to go through firewood this fast I'm buying myself a new chainsaw this spring
wife: You boys and your toys, you're so ridiculous...
me: Can't have my wonderful wife feeling cold!

Had a girlfriend (yeah tough to believe) that did the same thing. I was like it's August I can't fix the fact that the day starts at 30 degrees and gets to 90 in the afternoon. Her whole body is surface of the sun hot except for her feet which must reside on Hoth. That relationship was doomed from the beginning otherwise we would have burned through 10 cords of wood by now for a relatively mild winter. She likely would have gotten mad at me for spending too much time cutting firewood instead of decorating my house in a bunch of crooked Live, Laugh, Love signs. OH the damn candles...why so many candles! I thought I was going to get Carbon monoxide poisoning.

 

[Deleted member 28227]

Had a girlfriend (yeah tough to believe) that did the same thing. I was like it's August I can't fix the fact that the day starts at 30 degrees and gets to 90 in the afternoon. Her whole body is surface of the sun hot except for her feet which must reside on Hoth. That relationship was doomed from the beginning otherwise we would have burned through 10 cords of wood by now for a relatively mild winter. She likely would have gotten mad at me for spending too much time cutting firewood instead of decorating my house in a bunch of crooked Live, Laugh, Love signs. OH the damn candles...why so many candles! I thought I was going to get Carbon monoxide poisoning.

bro it's called hygge, SMH...

 

[MarvB]

Not to totally derail the OPs gripe list here but speaking of candles @Mthuntr, back in the late 80’s (1988?) my sis moved from OR down to a little berg near Redding CA called “Happy Valley” (NOTHING remotely happy about that place) to be with the latest “love of her life”.

Once into summer, she found herself in the middle of one of the ridiculous heat waves that area is known for (118 plus) so her and her Beau packed the car and went on a week long road trip north. She too was one that had to have candles EVERYWHERE in the home.

Her boyfriend, being one of a long line of those she was attracted to that lived hand-to-mouth, had killed the A/C to the place before they left to “save money”. Upon return she spent the next couples of weeks with a blow dryer trying to get pools of melted wax out of her carpet beneath where her candles once beloved resided. Plus the house smelled like a potpourri party gone bad. Good times….

 

[Europe]

A view from the other side. I have had young women tell me " he is almost perfect, the few faults he has I can change" ------pplleeeaasseee ! Once a boy is out of diapers, you can not change him. What you see is what you get. If you like who he is marry him, if not, dont !

i.e. : Brad Paisley---I'm still a guy

However, based upon the overwhelming "group think" of our male members-----maybe---

The Boys are back in town; Thin Lizzy

 

[MarvB]

Thank God April that she only married (and subsequently divorced) one of them! The rest were rather short stints. She would have been better served dropping most off at a spay and neuter clinic and heading home…

 

[SaskHunter]

A few years ago I was watching my "bride to be" leave in the morning for work, it was snowing hard so I told her to drive my pickup instead of her car. I see her put it in reverse and start backing up, I start waiving my arms as her car is behind the pickup a little ways. She needed to turn a bit to go around it. For some reason she accelerated in reverse and slams my pickup into her car...

This reminded me of a not so funny story at the time that's turned into a funny one.

I bought my first "brand new" vehicle in 2010; a crew cab Toyota Tacoma TRD. That thing was a beast and the best vehicle I've ever owned but that is a separate story. Some time around winter 2016, my wife took my truck to the gym and somehow backed into a concrete divider. My truck was lifted and on 33s so the cement divider slid under the bumper, 6 or so inches from the hitch and dented the metal bumper from underneath and chipping/cracking some plastic on the outside of the bumper. Fearing that I would be furious over this minor incident, she decided not to tell me.

A couple days later, walking back to my truck in a Walmart parking lot I see the relatively minor damage. I...AM...FURIOUS... The thought of someone hitting my truck but leaving without even leaving a "sorry" note infuriated me. I promptly called my wife and told her what I thought had happened and proceeded to bitch and moan about how people have no ethics anymore and how such of an asshole move that was. This ate at me for a while, I pride myself in admitting when I am wrong and couldn't come to terms with someone doing that to me, IT...WAS...PERSONAL!!!

Fast forward to winter 2020, time to sell the Tacoma! Quick sell and get great money for it (it is now the pride and joy of some lucky dude in Montana). That night, my wife sits me down and I am wondering WTF she has to tell me. In an extremely serious and apologetic way, she tells me the whole story about her backing up my Taco into a cement block... I ended up bursting out laughing and telling her how I couldn't believe that she'd let it eat at me for so long. She'd mentioned how she initially thought I'd be mad but finally had come to realize that I wouldn't actually be mad as it is simply not in my nature. But at that point it was to late to come clean, I was too upset that a stranger had done that to me, my baby, and was taking it way too personal, she had then told herself she would come clean the day that I'd sell it.

I still remind her of that story every time she brings up something dumb I've done.