Sh*t our kids do

[Bc1992]

My wife woke up to find the 4 year old put the space heater in our bed last night. Thank God she woke up.

 

[Gellar]

My wife woke up to find the 4 year old put the space heater in our bed last night. Thank God she woke up.

That’s scary. Glad everyone is ok.

 

[Wildabeest]

My wife woke up to find the 4 year old put the space heater in our bed last night. Thank God she woke up.

 

[Stocker]

No pictures on this one, but the first thing my boy does when he gets off the school bus is pee. He’s 4 and it’s an hour long bus ride, I understand, but the bus turns around in our drive because we are the last stop. I have to tell him to wait until the bus at least gets turned around and is heading the other way.

My grandma took me to town once when I was about 3-4. Walking back to the car in the grocery store parking lot I went in between two cars to pee. She told my mom “ he acts like he doesn’t even understand why he shouldn’t do it”.

 

[gouch]

No pictures on this one, but the first thing my boy does when he gets off the school bus is pee. He’s 4 and it’s an hour long bus ride, I understand, but the bus turns around in our drive because we are the last stop. I have to tell him to wait until the bus at least gets turned around and is heading the other way.

When my granddaughter was little her parents got tired of taking her all the way back to the house when she was playing outside and had to go potty. So, they taught her to just take her pants off and go on the ground. That was fine on the farm but one day they took her to the playground at the city park.

 

[BackofBeyond]

My youngest turns 2 next week, and he's already trying to be like his big brother and go pee in the potty. Earlier this week dad and brother taught him about peeing outside, God's gateway to potty training. Everything was great until I went to pick him up from Daycare last night, guess who pitched a bruiser of a hissy fit when they wouldn't let him take his diaper off and take a leak outside.

Pray for my wife - she has at least 16 more years of dealing with a feral husband and sons.

 

[Redmt]

I'm confused,,, I'm reading all the stories of kids peeing as necessary, when necessary. What seems to be the problem? I could never live anywhere that I couldn't pee off the front porch.

 

[np307]

Alright, this kid is getting too big for his britches, we may have to throw down. Since he was an infant, he's liked to do a little head bonk instead of a kiss. So he was telling me goodnight as I was laying on the couch so I picked him up to do our nightly bonk. I go "alright, little bonk" and normally he extremely slowly touches my forehead with his. Tonight, however, he went full on Bruce Lee and smashed his head into mine, stands up and laughs and in his deep mocking voice yells "biiiiiig bonk".

 

[rtraverdavis]

My daughter and I are leaving early tomorrow morning to help my dad find a cow elk, so right now I’m preemptively cleaning the bathrooms in our house in preparation for our guests coming for Thanksgiving. My God.

I honestly wish I loved anything in life as much as my five year old boy loves peeing ON the toilet, rather than in it. Doesn’t even try to aim. Just stands there, pulls his pants down (barely) and lets rip. I told my wife she needs to send him outside anytime he needs to go between now and Thursday. He prefers that anyway.

 

[Nick87]

My daughter and I are leaving early tomorrow morning to help my dad find a cow elk, so right now I’m preemptively cleaning the bathrooms in our house in preparation for our guests coming for Thanksgiving. My God.

I honestly wish I loved anything in life as much as my five year old boy loves peeing ON the toilet, rather than in it. Doesn’t even try to aim. Just stands there, pulls his pants down (barely) and lets rip. I told my wife she needs to send him outside anytime he needs to go between now and Thursday. He prefers that anyway.

Are five year old boys are one in the same. He missed the toilet just hours ago and it wasn't pee. I don't even ask anymore just roll with it.

 

[LousyResident]

Are five year old boys are one in the same. He missed the toilet just hours ago and it wasn't pee. I don't even ask anymore just roll with it.

Call me less of a man, but I forced my son to sit from potty training until about 8 or so unless he's out in the woods. After diapers I refused to clean up those particular body fluids anymore.

 

[rtraverdavis]

Are five year old boys are one and the same. He missed the toilet just hours ago and it wasn't pee. I don't even ask anymore just roll with it.

Okay, no $*)Q!#@$ joke—my wife just went to use the guest bathroom before we sit down for dinner, lifts the lid off the toilet, and discovers the seat completely wet. I cleaned it 45 minutes ago.

It’s like he’s not even human…

 

[Moserkr]

My boy is 5 and can aim just fine, but to each kid their own. He also pees off the deck or wherever, school included. Got a pic from his teacher of him watering a tree, during break, in front of the entire school... lol

 

[David658]

Alright, this kid is getting too big for his britches, we may have to throw down. Since he was an infant, he's liked to do a little head bonk instead of a kiss. So he was telling me goodnight as I was laying on the couch so I picked him up to do our nightly bonk. I go "alright, little bonk" and normally he extremely slowly touches my forehead with his. Tonight, however, he went full on Bruce Lee and smashed his head into mine, stands up and laughs and in his deep mocking voice yells "biiiiiig bonk".

My youngest gave me more than one bloody nose that way. And he was quick - could pull my glasses off and have them wadded up before I could react.

David
NM

 

[BearFoot]

Those grand kids. One is getting his own bedroom. Picks his colors.

Yep, I have great pride and high hope.

 

[BearFoot]

They are 8 & 10

 

[np307]

My youngest gave me more than one bloody nose that way. And he was quick - could pull my glasses off and have them wadded up before I could react.

David
NM

I think he's smart and setting me up for another one. Because now I'll say "alright, little bonk" and he will go "not big bonk, little bonk" and give me the noggin tap. I'm not falling for it, I'm keeping my reflexes sharp to dodge one when he thinks I'm being complacent.

 

[Nick87]

So....well....I was cleaning birds this afternoon with the boys watching. Turned my back and was like where is Clayton?(my youngest) wait where is the that other goose....oh shit the back door is open. Drug it into the living room over his shoulder like a gunny sack. I could not stop laughing. My wife did not laugh one bit.
I made him drag it back out.

 

[rjthehunter]

So....well....I was cleaning birds this afternoon with the boys watching. Turned my back and was like where is Clayton?(my youngest) wait where is the that other goose....oh shit the back door is open. Drug it into the living room over his shoulder like a gunny sack. I could not stop laughing. My wife did not laugh one bit.View attachment 302816
I made him drag it back out.
View attachment 302817

Way to be quick on the camera! That's priceless

 

[Nick87]

Way to be quick on the camera! That's priceless

I was being reprimanded but I said not til I get some pictures damn it!!