antler_master
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redneck ingenuity in the making
Sh*t our kids do
- Thread starter Nick87
- Start date
Nick87
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Bumping this thread. The two year old just broke my wife's nose. Merry Christmas I guess.
Redmt
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A sucker punch from a 2 year old will get ya every time!
Nick87
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Head butt actually.
Redmt
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OUCH!!!
Had a coworker who was a real ahole. Used to talk about him to my wife. Son was about 5 at the the time. We had an office gathering at said aholes house. We’re sitting there eating quietly when the 5 year old tells the ahole “if you’re mean to my daddy I’m going to kick your ass”. I just played it off but you should have seen the look on ahole’s face. 
Hunter4Life78
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Coming at you like a spider monkey!!Had a coworker who was a real ahole. Used to talk about him to my wife. Son was about 5 at the the time. We had an office gathering at said aholes house. We’re sitting there eating quietly when the 5 year old tells the ahole “if you’re mean to my daddy I’m going to kick your ass”. I just played it off but you should have seen the look on ahole’s face.
Hunter4Life78
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Not one of us asked the two most important questions. 1.) Is she ok? (Other than broken nose) 2.) How was the form on the head butt?
Nick87
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Seems to be alright, this isn't his first time he is an absolute terror.
Dougfirtree
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Those surprise head movements will get you. Especially when they're sitting on your lap, facing away. My wife has taken a few good ones like that. Hope she heals fast. Parenting is not for the faint of heart some days..
Nick87
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Exactly how it happened. Three weeks ago he gave her a black eye the same way.
rtraverdavis
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That’s intense, Nick. Though I can’t believe that same thing has never happened with my four year old. He’s a brute.
Hope your wife heals up quick. If she gets black eyes, don’t go grocery shopping with her…
Nick87
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Thanks, see my second post there about a few weeks back...people were already wondering I think. This should really help lol.
Hunter4Life78
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Glad she's ok. My daughter was dang near a pro at the head butt and she taught it to my nephew. One night heading out on shift I stopped by folks house and the nephew comes running over head straight to crotchular area when I doubled over he jumped head straight to my nose. Put me on my knees, this of course meant Uncle "d" wanted to wrestle nothing like having to call your chief and ask if he can cover a few minutes while you get your nose to stop bleeding. Love kids!!
My oldest daughter was here today with her two kids. The four-year-old was in the other room playing by herself when we heard, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" My daughter asked what was wrong. "I POOPED MY PANTS!" It was just a little shart, nothing too serious.
Dang man, hope she heals fast! Moms are the toughest creatures I know!
Never got head butted but my nephew shot a suction nerf dart at me while I wasn’t looking and it suctioned to my eyeball. Eye was so red for a few days it looked like I was hanging with Snoop Dog.
It’s ok, I broke said nephews permanent tooth out in a wrestling match after that so we’re square.
It’s ok, I broke said nephews permanent tooth out in a wrestling match after that so we’re square.
Nick87
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Yah I'd have to agree.
SaskHunter
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I got a full on scratch attack from my 4yo with her kid claws yesterday. She somehow scratched my forearm to shreds in one swift movement in a fit of rage at 1am when she was in "I'm so f'n tired that I can't sleep" mode. That shyte f'n hurts. Her older sister gets the most of it, kicks and punches, the 4yo continuously bullies her gentle 8yo sister. She'll be a handful.
I gave myself a black eye two summers ago, we were camping at a busy campground and my daughter (the evil one) bolted for the road with an incoming car. Without thinking, I went dad mode, threw my beer, ran after her and grabbed her as she made it for the road with the car coming to a full "oh sh*t" stop. On my way to grab her, I hit myself on the trailer's awning extending arm and almost knocked myself out. It gave be a pretty good shiner and everyone would joke around saying sh*t like I should listen to my wife better. I wonder if people would make the same jokes if it were the other way around? But I digress.
Nick87
Well-known member
They dont.
