AZHUNTERR
New member
Subject: Fw: PROXY FATHER
> >>
> >>>The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start
> >>>their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith
kissed
> >>>his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon."
> >>>Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
rang
> >>>the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. You don't
know
> >>>me, but I've come to...."
> >>>
> >>>"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.
> >>>
> >>>"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of
> >>>babies."
> >>>
> >>>"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a
seat."
> >>>"Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing.
> >>>
> >>>"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
> >>>couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor
is
> >>>fun too; you can really spread out."
> >>>
> >>>"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and
me."
> >>>
> >>>"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if
we
> >>>try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles,
I'm
> >>>sure you'll be pleased with the results."
> >>>
> >>>"I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith.
> >>>
> >>>"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in
> >>>and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm
sure."
> >>>
> >>>"Don't I know!!," Mrs. Smith exclaimed.
> >>>
> >>>The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
> >>>baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London."
> >>>
> >>>"Oh my god!!," Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
> >>>
> >>>"And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their
> >>>mother was so difficult to work with." The photographer handed Mrs.
Smith
> >>>the picture.
> >>>
> >>>"She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.
> >>>
> >>>"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the
> >>>job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing
> >>>to get a good look."
> >>>
> >>>"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
> >>>
> >>>"Yes," the photographer said. "And for more than three hours too. The
> >>>mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly
concentrate.
> >>>Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when
the
> >>>squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
> >>>
> >>>Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your,
> >>>eh......equipment ?".
> >>>
> >>>"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so
> >>>that we can get to work."
> >>>
> >>>"Tripod??," Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.
> >>>
> >>>"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big
> >>>for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action.
> >>>
> >>>Madam? Madam?..... Good Lord, she's fainted !!"
> >>>
> >>>
> >>
>
> >>
> >>>The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start
> >>>their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith
kissed
> >>>his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon."
> >>>Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
rang
> >>>the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. You don't
know
> >>>me, but I've come to...."
> >>>
> >>>"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.
> >>>
> >>>"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of
> >>>babies."
> >>>
> >>>"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a
seat."
> >>>"Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing.
> >>>
> >>>"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
> >>>couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor
is
> >>>fun too; you can really spread out."
> >>>
> >>>"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and
me."
> >>>
> >>>"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if
we
> >>>try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles,
I'm
> >>>sure you'll be pleased with the results."
> >>>
> >>>"I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith.
> >>>
> >>>"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in
> >>>and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm
sure."
> >>>
> >>>"Don't I know!!," Mrs. Smith exclaimed.
> >>>
> >>>The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
> >>>baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London."
> >>>
> >>>"Oh my god!!," Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
> >>>
> >>>"And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their
> >>>mother was so difficult to work with." The photographer handed Mrs.
Smith
> >>>the picture.
> >>>
> >>>"She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.
> >>>
> >>>"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the
> >>>job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing
> >>>to get a good look."
> >>>
> >>>"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
> >>>
> >>>"Yes," the photographer said. "And for more than three hours too. The
> >>>mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly
concentrate.
> >>>Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when
the
> >>>squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
> >>>
> >>>Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your,
> >>>eh......equipment ?".
> >>>
> >>>"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so
> >>>that we can get to work."
> >>>
> >>>"Tripod??," Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.
> >>>
> >>>"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big
> >>>for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action.
> >>>
> >>>Madam? Madam?..... Good Lord, she's fainted !!"
> >>>
> >>>
> >>
>
