Pain in the Azz Buddies?

[Steiny]

We've all got them, right?

So this one buddy of mine, I've known since we were kids just went through a bad divorce. She left him 2 years ago, the divorce finalized six months ago, and he's still a mental train wreck.
I've tried to be a buddy, taken him fishing, done all kinds of shizz, but it is really starting to wear on me. The dude is depressing to hang with anymore, as all he wants to talk about is his fugged up personal life and how she keeps screwing him over.

He also drags his kids around everywhere with him and talks that crap in front of them, brings them over when "the boys" are drinking and cutting up (plenty of cussing) which really rubs on me and doesn't do them any good.

I'm not exactly "Mr.Tactful" and have told him several times, he needs to get over it, and knock off all the negative discussion. Also told him I don't want the kids aroung "the guys" at my place anymore. My kids are grown up. Pretty much shut him down and told him I'm done hanging out until he gets his head out of his azz. Now he's pouting and whining about that, making out like I'm a real pr!ck.

My life is pretty good, and I'll help a dude out anytime, but when it has drug on for this long, I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna hang around that negativity anymore.

Have you ever run into anything like this. Makes me feel damn fortunate not to be carrying all of that mental baggage around.

 

[schmalts]

Tried to straighten out a buddy who became a bad drunk. Stuck it out for a couple years, got him a job, ect. Was a losing battle and we haven't seen each other for close to 7 years. I have been told he is still going on a path to destruction. Sad thing is the guy inherited a boat load of cash, and still is a loser and lives like trailer trash when life could be so easy for him. He now is up to 6 DWI's. You have your own life as well, and can only focus so much towards others out of your family I guess. You tried.

 

[BuzzH]

What I find funny is in most cases like the two above...when you tell someone flat out what you think...they usually think you're the Monster.

Best advice I can give is dont enable people like that to drag you down...cut them loose.

 

[Dinkshooter]

No matter how hard you try, you CANNOT help someone that won't help themselves.

Just a fact of life and something you never understand til you experience it first hand.

Did you try and get him a hooker? Just kidding. Maybe.

 

[TLC]

won't do you or them any good to keep "hanging on". did that with my brother, and all it did was drag me down. he drank himself to death and he basically died alone. had run off all of his friends and family. they won't change until they hit rock bottom, and sometimes, when they realize where they are, its too late. save yourself from all the drama and agony.

 

[DRAFTSTUD]

Yeah Steiny, I think we all have bumped into that Guy before. Mine was a guy I fished with off and on, wife left him and he went to pot. He would come over, talk about the Bi*ch and fall asleep sitting on the couch. Finally had to say what you basically said. The dude died in a house by himself and was'nt found for 3 weeks....with him dogs. My Buddy was the "CSI" guy and kept trying to tell me about it, do you know how fast I can cover my ears, pretty damn fast! John

 

[cjcj]

Get his ass Laid over and over.....and remind him that his X is doing the same.....even if its not true.........time will heal.... But pound it in his head....She wants to "move on" there is nothing you can do about it.

I have a brother who has been married 4 times! been thru it with him....gets pathetic at times

 

[sreekers]

I have a buddy who is a pain some of the times. He actually spent time in an institution because he was hearing voices. Me and another mutal friend confronted him about acting goofy again and he wanted nothing to do with us. We have had to quit hanging out with him cause its such a drain.

 

[2fastnaz]

Yeah like CJ said he needs a dirty woman. Took me a couple of years to get over my last bitch. Screwing all her friends helped me considerably.

 

[noharleyyet]

Gotta be a manrule somewhere regarding acceptable commiseration tolerance. I know a few people who will start a pity party after the first cocktail. My normal sensitivities are somewhere between 'get the fug over it' & 'there's a whole nuther world out there ya stupid bastage'.

 

[ringer]

Had a buddy in Oregon who's wife was screwing his landscaper and dumped him. We had to check on him for 6 months because we were afraid he would kill himself. He finally met a chick and the next thing we knew one of the local guides slid around a bend on the Clackamas river with a load of clients to catch our buddy standing in his jet sled getting a BJ from the new lady. He was happy as a clam after that.

 

[schmalts]

Buzz I agree big time. But when someone tries to get help and shows promise it is human nature to give them the benefit of the doubt. This buddy mentioned above tried for a while, I stuck out my neck and got him a job as an apprentice, and the second week on the job he shows up 3 hours late, still drunk, with a broken hand and tried to say he hurt it at work. Little did he know his girlfriend (whom I had known before him) called me to see if he was there and told me that they got in a fight and he punched a door. Strike 2, strike three was his 4th DWI

 

[Dangerous Dave]

I guess I was that guy... but for only about the month of August in 1999. Prior to that, the only way I could go home and face the mess I was living with was to buy a 12 pack every night after work and chug it down in about a half an hour, stagger in and face the music. But you can only keep doing that only for so long. Being messed up must have stopped me from killing the witch, because that was the next step.
You see, I was the one who left... not her. I gave her a year to stop selling and taking drugs, lying and to stop piling up $38k worth of debt with those 12 credit cards. She didn't and I booked. Guess I was a mess for that one month because I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing or not. At the end of August, I went on my infamous "Fear and Loathing" assault of Nevada and consulted a "professional." After that month had gone by, I stopped getting wasted and knew for sure that I was right. Never said a word about my ex ever again. (Luckly, no kids.)

 

[ringer]

With addiction you can never fix that problem. Glad you are healed up now.

 

[Dangerous Dave]

Thx for your concern, Ring. The drinking "problem" was never an addiction, just a way of daily dealing with something very ugly which my stupidity (love) had gotten me into. I knew what I was doing all along (why I was drinking) and never let it get out of hand. And it stopped shortly after I had flown the coop for good.
The drug addiction and selling was all on the witch's part. I gave her a year to clean up her act, and she never did. She's still messed up to this day from what I've heard. I say good riddance to bad rubbish. Life goes on.

 

[ringer]

I know and I was referring to the little woman. I know from my son you can't fix another persons drug problem and that it will devour everyone around them. I hate drugs and dealers.